I know I still owe the post on chakras/sefirot and another one about Sunday´s intervention, but I just crossed the Atlantic and am a tad bit tired. Will deliver soon.
On a super duper happy note... My step-sister is pregnant!!!! Yeai!!! Mazal Tov to her and her lovely husband!!! First grandkid in the family... going to drive everyone nuts. :o)
6/22/2006
6/19/2006
Surreal Monday Morning
This morning I woke up to the beautiful view of my bedroom window... the ocean... the ships... the clouds... the sky...my bedroom is one of the best places to feel connected to G-d. So this morning, like every other morning, I opened my eyes, looked out the window (I never close the curtains, I'd rather be awaken by sunlight in my face than missig that majestic view before I go to sleep or after I wake up)and I guess I hadn't woken up completely.. .there was a surreal look to my bedroom, the kind of surreal feeling the Torah describes every time someone meets an angel... and I said my Mode Ani with more feeling than ever before... truly thankful to have my soul back and truly thankful for the grandeour of the moment.
It was like the perfect ending to a surreal weekend. It was surreal in every way, everything that happened was bizarre....the good, the bad and the ugly.
Friday
My friend-whose-ex-husband-dumped-for-one-of-his-mistresses moved to the city last week, sick of living in her little town where every woman-friend she had had slept with her husband. She has 3 adorable little people and they are staying at my place because they still have no furniture in their new home.
The jewish school she wanted to send her kids to couldn't take in more kids, supposedly working ot its maximum capacity... I gave he-who-honestly-still-rocks-my-world a phone call and the kids got an appointment in the school and were tested as super smart and admitted. Yeai!!! Great start for the weekend.
Shabbos
Took my friend and her kids to shull. I loved having them around, specially for the final blessing, in which my shull has the tradition of holding hands with their family and I am always alone... They got to hang out with the kids they had met earlier in school and had a blast.
Then it was off to a very special dinner for me. He-who-still-rocks-my-world invited me over. Shabbos dinner with his family and friends. I know he doesn't want to be my boyfriend, but at least he wanted me over in the intimacy of his shabbat dinner.
When I came back home, my next door neighbor had his door open and friends of mine where there... having wine and desert, so I joined them and talked and laughed until 3 in the morning.
Saturday
So Shabbos was over and it was time to get pretty... oh-so-pretty!!! Went to a friend's wedding and did the mitzvah of dancing and laughing with the bride and groom. I also drank a couple of the best Cuban Mojitos!!! So there I was, in this gigantic wedding, with hundreds of people (It could've been around 1000 people) and on the happy note mingled and met new people. On the not so happy side, I wondered how people can spend the hundreds of thousands of dollars that this wedding must have cost in a one night event... how much is too much? Whatever happened to a nice Jupa on the beach with your closest friends and family? Closer to G-d and further from Vegas... really the bride and groom came into the party in a platform that elevated them, like any cheap Vegas show...
So, smile here, smile there and home... pretty late, again.
Sunday
Here comes the ugly. Alcoholism, love and an intervention. This deserves a complete post so I will write about it ASAP.
In the mean time... try to place yourselves in my window... blurry, majestic, and surreal... and let me get my things done cause I'm leaving the country in 2 days and have to leave everything in order...
It was like the perfect ending to a surreal weekend. It was surreal in every way, everything that happened was bizarre....the good, the bad and the ugly.
Friday
My friend-whose-ex-husband-dumped-for-one-of-his-mistresses moved to the city last week, sick of living in her little town where every woman-friend she had had slept with her husband. She has 3 adorable little people and they are staying at my place because they still have no furniture in their new home.
The jewish school she wanted to send her kids to couldn't take in more kids, supposedly working ot its maximum capacity... I gave he-who-honestly-still-rocks-my-world a phone call and the kids got an appointment in the school and were tested as super smart and admitted. Yeai!!! Great start for the weekend.
Shabbos
Took my friend and her kids to shull. I loved having them around, specially for the final blessing, in which my shull has the tradition of holding hands with their family and I am always alone... They got to hang out with the kids they had met earlier in school and had a blast.
Then it was off to a very special dinner for me. He-who-still-rocks-my-world invited me over. Shabbos dinner with his family and friends. I know he doesn't want to be my boyfriend, but at least he wanted me over in the intimacy of his shabbat dinner.
When I came back home, my next door neighbor had his door open and friends of mine where there... having wine and desert, so I joined them and talked and laughed until 3 in the morning.
Saturday
So Shabbos was over and it was time to get pretty... oh-so-pretty!!! Went to a friend's wedding and did the mitzvah of dancing and laughing with the bride and groom. I also drank a couple of the best Cuban Mojitos!!! So there I was, in this gigantic wedding, with hundreds of people (It could've been around 1000 people) and on the happy note mingled and met new people. On the not so happy side, I wondered how people can spend the hundreds of thousands of dollars that this wedding must have cost in a one night event... how much is too much? Whatever happened to a nice Jupa on the beach with your closest friends and family? Closer to G-d and further from Vegas... really the bride and groom came into the party in a platform that elevated them, like any cheap Vegas show...
So, smile here, smile there and home... pretty late, again.
Sunday
Here comes the ugly. Alcoholism, love and an intervention. This deserves a complete post so I will write about it ASAP.
In the mean time... try to place yourselves in my window... blurry, majestic, and surreal... and let me get my things done cause I'm leaving the country in 2 days and have to leave everything in order...
6/16/2006
Stories of soccer, kipot, rabbis and THE rebbetzin
So everybody is going wild with the World Cup. This morning Argentina kicked Servia & Montenegro's buttocks with a 6-0 and well, little Costa Rica's behind was kicked yesterday by Ecuador in a very sad 3-0 that pretty much sent them back home and left me debating who is my next favorite team. Still don't know.
He-who-till-Saturday-before-last-rocked-my-world has been wearing a woven kipa with the shape of half a soccer ball. Yes, he lead the service last Shabbat wearing it, and taught all his classes this week wearing it. The rabbi and him are always talking soccer and debating whether the cup will go to Argentina (rabbi's fave) or to Brazil (he-who-till-blah-blah's fave.) Soccer really brings the World together...and the rabbis...
I had a funny dream last night. In my dream RenReb called me on the phone. I love RenReb, and follow her blog every day, but realized last night that I'm, ejchemm, a little obsessed, don't you think? Dreaming about a fellow blogger???? That is pretty bizarre. Well, in my dream she called me on the phone and we talked for quite a while... I was giving her advice on life and she was giving me advice too. We were both sort of therapeutically venting out with each other. It was fun :o)
So, will check out the official website for the World Cup and decide which is my new favorite team. Why not the US? Because Americans don't play soccer. And they're doing as bad as Costa Rica. So... Cote D'Ivoire, perhaps? That's an underdog with potential :o)
Ok, back to my Torah Yoga, Chakra-Sefirot study and enough of soccer.
Shabbat Shalom!
He-who-till-Saturday-before-last-rocked-my-world has been wearing a woven kipa with the shape of half a soccer ball. Yes, he lead the service last Shabbat wearing it, and taught all his classes this week wearing it. The rabbi and him are always talking soccer and debating whether the cup will go to Argentina (rabbi's fave) or to Brazil (he-who-till-blah-blah's fave.) Soccer really brings the World together...and the rabbis...
I had a funny dream last night. In my dream RenReb called me on the phone. I love RenReb, and follow her blog every day, but realized last night that I'm, ejchemm, a little obsessed, don't you think? Dreaming about a fellow blogger???? That is pretty bizarre. Well, in my dream she called me on the phone and we talked for quite a while... I was giving her advice on life and she was giving me advice too. We were both sort of therapeutically venting out with each other. It was fun :o)
So, will check out the official website for the World Cup and decide which is my new favorite team. Why not the US? Because Americans don't play soccer. And they're doing as bad as Costa Rica. So... Cote D'Ivoire, perhaps? That's an underdog with potential :o)
Ok, back to my Torah Yoga, Chakra-Sefirot study and enough of soccer.
Shabbat Shalom!
6/15/2006
Where all my money goes
I just received a package... a lovely package... a package I have been waiting for!!! Amazon.com... all my money goes to Amazon.com, Zara and the libanese restaurant that has become like my Central Perk or Peach Pit or whatever reference to a popular TV show with an official hangout place you can think of.
So yeah, my Amazon package... there were 2 books for my mom (her birthday is coming very soon)... and a LOT of books for nerdy little me. :o) Forget martial arts class tonight... I AM READING.
I said before, I am working on a very interesting analysis between our Sefirot and Chakras...these books are going to help me out on my search too. I have for a while focused on combining the benefits that Yoga bring to my life with my judaism. It was amazing to know I was not alone. Torah Yoga was developed by Diane Bloomfield years ago, it searches for the same Mind-Body-Spirit union that I have long longed for... and yes, I now have a package full of books on the topic. Yeai!!!
I will let you know my findings eventually.
Shal-om
So yeah, my Amazon package... there were 2 books for my mom (her birthday is coming very soon)... and a LOT of books for nerdy little me. :o) Forget martial arts class tonight... I AM READING.
I said before, I am working on a very interesting analysis between our Sefirot and Chakras...these books are going to help me out on my search too. I have for a while focused on combining the benefits that Yoga bring to my life with my judaism. It was amazing to know I was not alone. Torah Yoga was developed by Diane Bloomfield years ago, it searches for the same Mind-Body-Spirit union that I have long longed for... and yes, I now have a package full of books on the topic. Yeai!!!
I will let you know my findings eventually.
Shal-om
6/11/2006
In awe
I wish I could have photographed it for you!!!! I have the image stuck in my head like one of the most wonderful things I have ever seen in my life. My jaw dropped open and I was compelled by the beauty of it all. Man meets nature... an absolut manifestation of G-d.
So, I will try to describe it for you... with all the limitations writing has...
Ocean view apartment, 19th floor. Tens of boats on the sea. Sun has been down for like an hour. All of a sudden fireworks right here on my window... I get up, move closer to the window and besides the fireworks... I see this huge yellow giant in the horizon, reflecting itself on the water. I can tell you, for a moment I knew not if I was looking at the moon or if I was looking at the sun setting... It was bizarre. And the fireworks kept going off, gorgeous, enormous.. right here on my window!!!!
How some people can still deny the existance of the Almighty, when magical moments like this arise, I cannot explain.
So, I will try to describe it for you... with all the limitations writing has...
Ocean view apartment, 19th floor. Tens of boats on the sea. Sun has been down for like an hour. All of a sudden fireworks right here on my window... I get up, move closer to the window and besides the fireworks... I see this huge yellow giant in the horizon, reflecting itself on the water. I can tell you, for a moment I knew not if I was looking at the moon or if I was looking at the sun setting... It was bizarre. And the fireworks kept going off, gorgeous, enormous.. right here on my window!!!!
How some people can still deny the existance of the Almighty, when magical moments like this arise, I cannot explain.
I dread Sundays
I really do.
When my roommates are around, Sundays turn into fun lazy days, where we laugh at each other for our lack of productivity, watch TV, go grocery shopping if we feel like the whole day has gone to waste, order takeout and the like. When you are single and living far away from your parents & siblings, your roomates become your family and the house is soooo empty when they´re gone.
And of course here I am, writing, cause they´re gone and I´m lonely and it´s not so easy to be alone when you have a broken heart (and I still do). Sigh.
I read the Egyptians had banned us from sighing when we were under their opression; these sighs were like a prayer to G-d. A cry for help...
Anyhoooooo. Yeah, Sunday. People sleep till late which I can´t do. And even if they wake up, they have families to spend the day with. I don´t. My family is close, but we have never gotten into the habit to spend time together on Sundays... my cousins are all married with children and do their own thing and my aunt & uncle have a life of their own too...
So I woke up and started studying the relationship between Kundalini Tantric Chakras and our Kabbalistic Sefirot. Quite interesting I must say. I will post my essay when it´s ready. Though don´t expect it too soon, still a lot to study.
So yeah. Alone. Bored. Lonely. Sad... and sighing...
When my roommates are around, Sundays turn into fun lazy days, where we laugh at each other for our lack of productivity, watch TV, go grocery shopping if we feel like the whole day has gone to waste, order takeout and the like. When you are single and living far away from your parents & siblings, your roomates become your family and the house is soooo empty when they´re gone.
And of course here I am, writing, cause they´re gone and I´m lonely and it´s not so easy to be alone when you have a broken heart (and I still do). Sigh.
I read the Egyptians had banned us from sighing when we were under their opression; these sighs were like a prayer to G-d. A cry for help...
Anyhoooooo. Yeah, Sunday. People sleep till late which I can´t do. And even if they wake up, they have families to spend the day with. I don´t. My family is close, but we have never gotten into the habit to spend time together on Sundays... my cousins are all married with children and do their own thing and my aunt & uncle have a life of their own too...
So I woke up and started studying the relationship between Kundalini Tantric Chakras and our Kabbalistic Sefirot. Quite interesting I must say. I will post my essay when it´s ready. Though don´t expect it too soon, still a lot to study.
So yeah. Alone. Bored. Lonely. Sad... and sighing...
6/09/2006
We don't look out for Shabbos
It is so true. We don't look out for Shabbos, Shabbos looks out for us. I just love Shabbos. Great food, wonderful conversation and the chance to have the 9 little nieces/nephews (some are not so little anymore) jumping around and having fun. I often wonder what my relationship with my father would've been like without Shabbos and the horrible thoughts make me jitter. B'H for Shabbos.
So on a different note: Costa Rica lost against Germany but, boy, did they play a great game!!!! I'm with you boys!!! I'm proud of you !!!! I'm wondering if it would be inappropriate to show up to shull tonight wearing my Costa Rican jersey... I'm not gonna be the rebbetzin anyway, so why would anyone care? (mind my sarcastic comment. I'm still hurt)
Anyway, back to he-who-till-Saturday-rocked-my-world, though this topic is getting old now, we went out last night with other friends and he had the droopy I-love-you so-much-eyes that confuse me badly. But yeah, not the rebbetzin, won't be rebbetzin. Focus.
Anybody out there know of a single, extraordinary, fun, Conservative rabbi or rabbi-to-be seaking for a Jewish-not-so-Princess?
So on a different note: Costa Rica lost against Germany but, boy, did they play a great game!!!! I'm with you boys!!! I'm proud of you !!!! I'm wondering if it would be inappropriate to show up to shull tonight wearing my Costa Rican jersey... I'm not gonna be the rebbetzin anyway, so why would anyone care? (mind my sarcastic comment. I'm still hurt)
Anyway, back to he-who-till-Saturday-rocked-my-world, though this topic is getting old now, we went out last night with other friends and he had the droopy I-love-you so-much-eyes that confuse me badly. But yeah, not the rebbetzin, won't be rebbetzin. Focus.
Anybody out there know of a single, extraordinary, fun, Conservative rabbi or rabbi-to-be seaking for a Jewish-not-so-Princess?
6/08/2006
Tomorrow will be a good day!!!
The sun is finally starting to shine, but the whole day has been dark and rainy and boring. I could totally go to bed now and wake up tomorrow, put on my Costa Rica soccer jersey and watch the inauguration game of the World Cup.
I'm an underdog kind of woman. I totally wish Costa Rica wins this match, and all matches, and the World Cup, why not? They deserve it more than Brazil or all those other giants who have all the money in the world and millions of players to scout from, don't you think?
Great news for tomorrow also... they are delivering my new package from Amazon.com with my latest book shopping spree :o)
It's not right to say I want today to be over, but G-d knows I mean it. My friends canceled dinner tonight, no yoga class today, no midrash class today... will drag myself after work to my martial arts class which I really don't want to go to since I'm sort of down and in need of more spiritual rituals...
So, yeah, Costa Rica, world champions!!!!! hurray!!!!
I'm an underdog kind of woman. I totally wish Costa Rica wins this match, and all matches, and the World Cup, why not? They deserve it more than Brazil or all those other giants who have all the money in the world and millions of players to scout from, don't you think?
Great news for tomorrow also... they are delivering my new package from Amazon.com with my latest book shopping spree :o)
It's not right to say I want today to be over, but G-d knows I mean it. My friends canceled dinner tonight, no yoga class today, no midrash class today... will drag myself after work to my martial arts class which I really don't want to go to since I'm sort of down and in need of more spiritual rituals...
So, yeah, Costa Rica, world champions!!!!! hurray!!!!
6/06/2006
Nichnas yayin yotzo sod
He-who-'till-Saturday-rocked-my-world: I don't want you to be the rebbetzin, ok?
Me: Ouch. (turns head, tears bundle up in corner of eyes)
He-who-'till-Saturday-rocked-my-world: blah blah blah blah.... (which translates to:)
He-who-no-longer-rocks-my-world has a lost screw in his head. He is in love. But he is in love with his classmate. Yes, with his classmate from rabbinical school. The woman-rabbi-to-be, the married-with-children-woman with whom he spends hours every day studying G-d's words... the woman who loves him back and fears G-d for it.
Scarey, huh?
I thought one of the commandments was "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife". I was also under the impression that a person who chooses to become a man of faith would have enough inner strength to find G-d before they would defy any of the commandments. Well, he's only human. Poor thing must be going through a very rough time.
Nichnas yayin yotzo sod...so, thanks to the wine I know the truth now. Baruch Hashem I'm out of this relationship... and yes, better now than later!
Me: Ouch. (turns head, tears bundle up in corner of eyes)
He-who-'till-Saturday-rocked-my-world: blah blah blah blah.... (which translates to:)
He-who-no-longer-rocks-my-world has a lost screw in his head. He is in love. But he is in love with his classmate. Yes, with his classmate from rabbinical school. The woman-rabbi-to-be, the married-with-children-woman with whom he spends hours every day studying G-d's words... the woman who loves him back and fears G-d for it.
Scarey, huh?
I thought one of the commandments was "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife". I was also under the impression that a person who chooses to become a man of faith would have enough inner strength to find G-d before they would defy any of the commandments. Well, he's only human. Poor thing must be going through a very rough time.
Nichnas yayin yotzo sod...so, thanks to the wine I know the truth now. Baruch Hashem I'm out of this relationship... and yes, better now than later!
6/01/2006
Faith & Reason
Quote of the day:
"Faith and reason need not be incompatible" - Rabbi Susan Grossman
Today is Erev Shavuot... a time to remember, study, learn, appreciate, and absorb the G-d sent gift of knowledge... of wisdom... of light.... of Torah. :o)
Hag Sameach to all, and may our study sessions/discussions with other fellow jews bring us closer and closer to peace, tonight and all nights.
Amen.
"Faith and reason need not be incompatible" - Rabbi Susan Grossman
Today is Erev Shavuot... a time to remember, study, learn, appreciate, and absorb the G-d sent gift of knowledge... of wisdom... of light.... of Torah. :o)
Hag Sameach to all, and may our study sessions/discussions with other fellow jews bring us closer and closer to peace, tonight and all nights.
Amen.
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