1/29/2007

Tsunami of Words

I like to be a nice person. I really do. I'm usually not into nicknames (unless they're nice and cute) or into talking about someone behind their back... but I hit rock bottom with our beloved not-so-friend, who we not-so-lovingly call "Tsunami of Words". OK, I am a babbler, and I talk to the walls if necessary, like I think most women do... but this woman is really a Tsunami. As in, when she talks, she brings a massive wave of destruction her way.

First one down: I introduce her to a couple of my friends, their brother is Tsunami's kite boarding instructor. She's not Jewish, my friends are, and they all have names in Hebrew... so, her first comment: wow, you all have girls' names! ummm... no?!?! Itzik is sweet for Isaac. Jacky is short for Jacob, and Uri...is just Uri.

Next one: I'm talking about my application to Elat Chayyim's Jewish Spirituality-Yoga Teacher Training (I'll tell you all about this) and Tsunami says what I'm saying is ridiculous, because yoga is a sport. It's like talking about Catholic Tennis. Ummm, whatever?!?!?! I am of course seconds away to loosing my temper, but that is loosing the battle. I never loose my cool and I lovingly explain to her, that the yoga she knows is just a little part of a 6 limb or 8 limb lifestyle approach. I tell her yoga includes the way you eat, the way you talk, the way you breathe, the way you think. I tell her she doesn't know enough as to give a good argument and besides, it's just not nice to say something like this when I am telling her what I want to do. She answers back... I think it's cool you want to study, don't get me wrong, you can do it. YOU CAN DO IT???? Wow!!! Thanks Tsunami for your permission!!!! Now I can do it! Tsunami lets me do it!!! Yeai!!! (Victory dance because I got Tsunami's PERMISSION)

Whatever... I needed to vent some steam somewhere, and that's what this blog is about.

Elat Chayyim: check the program out at http://www.elatchayyim.org/yoga/

I have already applied and am fairly nervous as to what Mrs. Bloomfield's and Rabbi Klotz's answer will be.... I would really like to join this program. I am so into using yoga as an extra spirituality tool in my jewish practice! We'll see. I got an email from Mrs. Bloomfield saying they will review my application and they will let me know what they think in a few weeks... (suspense-movie-music)

Well, stay tuned for their answer!!!

1/19/2007

I want to break free!!! (sing along with Queen's music)

Guys you know what? I'M DONE. I promise this is the last time I will ever mention what-was-I-thinking-of?-Rabbi in this blog. What happened? Not worth telling... How do I feel? Marvelowonderful!!! Fantabulous!!! and for once in the past year: FREE!!!

I couldn't even be cool about dating other people cause I always had Rabbi in my head, but it's all done. Over. Finito. And when you have a little bit of brains, you know you should let go of the people you love (specially when they are INSANE and confused), so they can be crazy and do whatever they want to do with their lifes. And I am FREE. Hopefully he will find someone sweet who can put up with his roller-coaster personality. And me? I'll be fine.

As Jo Dee Messina wonderfully said:
Bye bye, love, I'll catch you later!
Got my left foot down
on my accelerator
And the rearview mirror torn off
Cause I ain't ever looking back
And that's a fact

So, on a very happy note, it seems like I will be spending Pesach with my Dad this year.. yeai!!!! Have I told you before how much I love Pesach? Well, maybe not everthing about Pesach, it does get annoying sometimes, but I love to sit down and have a Pesach Seder with the people I love... and this year, hopefully BH it will be with my favorite man!!! Daddy-o!!!!!!!!

As for now, I'll get back to work... I'm taking a couple of days off next week to visit my Mom, so I'd better get my stuff together.

From the tropics with love,

JewCess

1/15/2007

Yerushalaim Shel Zahav

To begin, happy 2007!!!!

I've been gone... first because I was enjoying the most wonderful trip of my life to our mother ship (aka--> Eretz Israel) and I have been gone... mentally... because Rabbi-who-stupidly-still-rocks-my-world is around, irritating me. GO HOME ALREADY!!!

Ok, so...before I keep firing love-hate manifestations of my love or enfatutation or whatever it is for Cute-Rabbi, I will tell you all about the most fantastic, unbelievable, present I have received from anyone who's not my parents. December 24th, I woke up before the crack of dawn to take my aunt, uncle & cousin to the airport... they were taking my cousin's kids to Israel, to start the sionist education early in their lives... I went back home, put on my PJs and started working on the project I had been delaying and had planned for the 2 week holidays I had- Project Non-Stop Sleep- (my office was closed without me wanting to take vacations cause I had no better plan) anywhooo... phone rings, cousin on the other side, asking if I was willing (willing?!?!) to hop on a plane the next day and sacrifice 32 hours of my life to go to the most fantastic country in the world... heck, would I sacrifice?!?!?!

Needless to say, next morning I was on my way. Flew next to a wonderful young girl from the USA to Tel Aviv, and though I'm not much of a flight talker -I'm usually carrying the typical do-not-disturb gadgets (iPod, book, siddur) I liked this girl and we had a wonderful conversation. She is Christian and has been involved in different church projects for the past few years. She was moving to Yerushalaim as a baby-sitter to help her friend who was having her 4th baby in 4 years.

I cried when I landed in Tel Aviv. And cried like a million other times. And laughed at myself and laughed with Cute-get-out-of-my-life-Rabbi when I confessed I was having a hard time davening at the Kotel because I could not stop crying and sobbing. WOW. The Kotel is alive. Have you felt that? Have you touch those walls? Have you felt the energy? That energy can only be felt in Yerushalaim. Beautiful Jerusalem of gold... and made of bronze and filled with light...

We went everywhere... from the borders with Lebanon to the borders of Egypt... from the Dead Sea to the Kineret... may Gd bless Israel... its beauty, its history, it' energy and its people. Le shana haba v'Yerushalaim... BH.

So, Cute-Rabbi is here, being "honest" as he can and making my mind go round,round-baby-round,round,like a record, baby, round, round, round, round... I am madly in love. You will never understand to what extent I am in love. But distance is horrible and he deserves someone who's there for him... someone close... someone there.... and so do I. In the past weeks we've looked like puppies in love and like enemies in battle... he has come close and he has distanced himself... all out of love and the pain that comes with it. I wish it was different. I wish I could understand what it is out of this situation that we both have to learn... is God telling us to go wild in the name of love? To drop our lifes and form a new life together with no plan, no income, no nothing other than love? Or is He teaching us to let go of our loved ones... the ultimate sacrifice?!?! That is what it feels like. I think I will commit to letting go this time. Hopefully he will find someone in his path... and I will find somebody in mine. Only time will tell and only God knows.