So, here's a weird one: tomorrow after shabbat, BH, I will be flying to my hometown... yeaiii!!! I have a wedding to attend... yeaiii!!! I am very excited for the chatan & kallah, yeaiiii!!! He was my boyfriend for 2 years... ummm... wierd!!!
You never think the guy you used to date would get married before you do. I never did. I guess it's fair since I was the one who decided he was not my bashert and I shouldn't marry him. Oh, well. I'm glad he found a fantastic girl to love and cherish him. And tomorrow, BH, I will fulfill the mitzvot with all my heart. I will share their joy, I will share their meal, I will dance with the bride and daven for the best and sweetest of marriages for them!
And who knows... there could be some interesting single guy there... wouldn't that be...weird?
2/16/2007
2/06/2007
All the drafts I have started
I wish I had more time to post! I think maybe I wish I was more organized with my time and would take the time needed to post... but whatever.
I love my blog, though only Hila reads it...
I'll be back soon and finish the posts I have in my drafts. It's just funny how the lame topics just come out of my mouth like torpedoes, but when I have something I find important or interesting, life just twists around and I can't finish my thoughts. But I will. Cause I have to. For myself.
On a happy note: I WAS ACCEPTED TO ELAT CHAYYIM!!!!! YEAIIIIIIIIII!!!!
On a sad note: the 2 posts I need to finish are:
1- about how I was judgemental and didn't give tzedaka to someone who probably needed it.
2- on how my mommy gave up on Judaism.
I'll be back... soon.
I love my blog, though only Hila reads it...
I'll be back soon and finish the posts I have in my drafts. It's just funny how the lame topics just come out of my mouth like torpedoes, but when I have something I find important or interesting, life just twists around and I can't finish my thoughts. But I will. Cause I have to. For myself.
On a happy note: I WAS ACCEPTED TO ELAT CHAYYIM!!!!! YEAIIIIIIIIII!!!!
On a sad note: the 2 posts I need to finish are:
1- about how I was judgemental and didn't give tzedaka to someone who probably needed it.
2- on how my mommy gave up on Judaism.
I'll be back... soon.
1/29/2007
Tsunami of Words
I like to be a nice person. I really do. I'm usually not into nicknames (unless they're nice and cute) or into talking about someone behind their back... but I hit rock bottom with our beloved not-so-friend, who we not-so-lovingly call "Tsunami of Words". OK, I am a babbler, and I talk to the walls if necessary, like I think most women do... but this woman is really a Tsunami. As in, when she talks, she brings a massive wave of destruction her way.
First one down: I introduce her to a couple of my friends, their brother is Tsunami's kite boarding instructor. She's not Jewish, my friends are, and they all have names in Hebrew... so, her first comment: wow, you all have girls' names! ummm... no?!?! Itzik is sweet for Isaac. Jacky is short for Jacob, and Uri...is just Uri.
Next one: I'm talking about my application to Elat Chayyim's Jewish Spirituality-Yoga Teacher Training (I'll tell you all about this) and Tsunami says what I'm saying is ridiculous, because yoga is a sport. It's like talking about Catholic Tennis. Ummm, whatever?!?!?! I am of course seconds away to loosing my temper, but that is loosing the battle. I never loose my cool and I lovingly explain to her, that the yoga she knows is just a little part of a 6 limb or 8 limb lifestyle approach. I tell her yoga includes the way you eat, the way you talk, the way you breathe, the way you think. I tell her she doesn't know enough as to give a good argument and besides, it's just not nice to say something like this when I am telling her what I want to do. She answers back... I think it's cool you want to study, don't get me wrong, you can do it. YOU CAN DO IT???? Wow!!! Thanks Tsunami for your permission!!!! Now I can do it! Tsunami lets me do it!!! Yeai!!! (Victory dance because I got Tsunami's PERMISSION)
Whatever... I needed to vent some steam somewhere, and that's what this blog is about.
Elat Chayyim: check the program out at http://www.elatchayyim.org/yoga/
I have already applied and am fairly nervous as to what Mrs. Bloomfield's and Rabbi Klotz's answer will be.... I would really like to join this program. I am so into using yoga as an extra spirituality tool in my jewish practice! We'll see. I got an email from Mrs. Bloomfield saying they will review my application and they will let me know what they think in a few weeks... (suspense-movie-music)
Well, stay tuned for their answer!!!
First one down: I introduce her to a couple of my friends, their brother is Tsunami's kite boarding instructor. She's not Jewish, my friends are, and they all have names in Hebrew... so, her first comment: wow, you all have girls' names! ummm... no?!?! Itzik is sweet for Isaac. Jacky is short for Jacob, and Uri...is just Uri.
Next one: I'm talking about my application to Elat Chayyim's Jewish Spirituality-Yoga Teacher Training (I'll tell you all about this) and Tsunami says what I'm saying is ridiculous, because yoga is a sport. It's like talking about Catholic Tennis. Ummm, whatever?!?!?! I am of course seconds away to loosing my temper, but that is loosing the battle. I never loose my cool and I lovingly explain to her, that the yoga she knows is just a little part of a 6 limb or 8 limb lifestyle approach. I tell her yoga includes the way you eat, the way you talk, the way you breathe, the way you think. I tell her she doesn't know enough as to give a good argument and besides, it's just not nice to say something like this when I am telling her what I want to do. She answers back... I think it's cool you want to study, don't get me wrong, you can do it. YOU CAN DO IT???? Wow!!! Thanks Tsunami for your permission!!!! Now I can do it! Tsunami lets me do it!!! Yeai!!! (Victory dance because I got Tsunami's PERMISSION)
Whatever... I needed to vent some steam somewhere, and that's what this blog is about.
Elat Chayyim: check the program out at http://www.elatchayyim.org/yoga/
I have already applied and am fairly nervous as to what Mrs. Bloomfield's and Rabbi Klotz's answer will be.... I would really like to join this program. I am so into using yoga as an extra spirituality tool in my jewish practice! We'll see. I got an email from Mrs. Bloomfield saying they will review my application and they will let me know what they think in a few weeks... (suspense-movie-music)
Well, stay tuned for their answer!!!
1/19/2007
I want to break free!!! (sing along with Queen's music)
Guys you know what? I'M DONE. I promise this is the last time I will ever mention what-was-I-thinking-of?-Rabbi in this blog. What happened? Not worth telling... How do I feel? Marvelowonderful!!! Fantabulous!!! and for once in the past year: FREE!!!
I couldn't even be cool about dating other people cause I always had Rabbi in my head, but it's all done. Over. Finito. And when you have a little bit of brains, you know you should let go of the people you love (specially when they are INSANE and confused), so they can be crazy and do whatever they want to do with their lifes. And I am FREE. Hopefully he will find someone sweet who can put up with his roller-coaster personality. And me? I'll be fine.
As Jo Dee Messina wonderfully said:
Bye bye, love, I'll catch you later!
Got my left foot down
on my accelerator
And the rearview mirror torn off
Cause I ain't ever looking back
And that's a fact
So, on a very happy note, it seems like I will be spending Pesach with my Dad this year.. yeai!!!! Have I told you before how much I love Pesach? Well, maybe not everthing about Pesach, it does get annoying sometimes, but I love to sit down and have a Pesach Seder with the people I love... and this year, hopefully BH it will be with my favorite man!!! Daddy-o!!!!!!!!
As for now, I'll get back to work... I'm taking a couple of days off next week to visit my Mom, so I'd better get my stuff together.
From the tropics with love,
JewCess
I couldn't even be cool about dating other people cause I always had Rabbi in my head, but it's all done. Over. Finito. And when you have a little bit of brains, you know you should let go of the people you love (specially when they are INSANE and confused), so they can be crazy and do whatever they want to do with their lifes. And I am FREE. Hopefully he will find someone sweet who can put up with his roller-coaster personality. And me? I'll be fine.
As Jo Dee Messina wonderfully said:
Bye bye, love, I'll catch you later!
Got my left foot down
on my accelerator
And the rearview mirror torn off
Cause I ain't ever looking back
And that's a fact
So, on a very happy note, it seems like I will be spending Pesach with my Dad this year.. yeai!!!! Have I told you before how much I love Pesach? Well, maybe not everthing about Pesach, it does get annoying sometimes, but I love to sit down and have a Pesach Seder with the people I love... and this year, hopefully BH it will be with my favorite man!!! Daddy-o!!!!!!!!
As for now, I'll get back to work... I'm taking a couple of days off next week to visit my Mom, so I'd better get my stuff together.
From the tropics with love,
JewCess
1/15/2007
Yerushalaim Shel Zahav
To begin, happy 2007!!!!
I've been gone... first because I was enjoying the most wonderful trip of my life to our mother ship (aka--> Eretz Israel) and I have been gone... mentally... because Rabbi-who-stupidly-still-rocks-my-world is around, irritating me. GO HOME ALREADY!!!
Ok, so...before I keep firing love-hate manifestations of my love or enfatutation or whatever it is for Cute-Rabbi, I will tell you all about the most fantastic, unbelievable, present I have received from anyone who's not my parents. December 24th, I woke up before the crack of dawn to take my aunt, uncle & cousin to the airport... they were taking my cousin's kids to Israel, to start the sionist education early in their lives... I went back home, put on my PJs and started working on the project I had been delaying and had planned for the 2 week holidays I had- Project Non-Stop Sleep- (my office was closed without me wanting to take vacations cause I had no better plan) anywhooo... phone rings, cousin on the other side, asking if I was willing (willing?!?!) to hop on a plane the next day and sacrifice 32 hours of my life to go to the most fantastic country in the world... heck, would I sacrifice?!?!?!
Needless to say, next morning I was on my way. Flew next to a wonderful young girl from the USA to Tel Aviv, and though I'm not much of a flight talker -I'm usually carrying the typical do-not-disturb gadgets (iPod, book, siddur) I liked this girl and we had a wonderful conversation. She is Christian and has been involved in different church projects for the past few years. She was moving to Yerushalaim as a baby-sitter to help her friend who was having her 4th baby in 4 years.
I cried when I landed in Tel Aviv. And cried like a million other times. And laughed at myself and laughed with Cute-get-out-of-my-life-Rabbi when I confessed I was having a hard time davening at the Kotel because I could not stop crying and sobbing. WOW. The Kotel is alive. Have you felt that? Have you touch those walls? Have you felt the energy? That energy can only be felt in Yerushalaim. Beautiful Jerusalem of gold... and made of bronze and filled with light...
We went everywhere... from the borders with Lebanon to the borders of Egypt... from the Dead Sea to the Kineret... may Gd bless Israel... its beauty, its history, it' energy and its people. Le shana haba v'Yerushalaim... BH.
So, Cute-Rabbi is here, being "honest" as he can and making my mind go round,round-baby-round,round,like a record, baby, round, round, round, round... I am madly in love. You will never understand to what extent I am in love. But distance is horrible and he deserves someone who's there for him... someone close... someone there.... and so do I. In the past weeks we've looked like puppies in love and like enemies in battle... he has come close and he has distanced himself... all out of love and the pain that comes with it. I wish it was different. I wish I could understand what it is out of this situation that we both have to learn... is God telling us to go wild in the name of love? To drop our lifes and form a new life together with no plan, no income, no nothing other than love? Or is He teaching us to let go of our loved ones... the ultimate sacrifice?!?! That is what it feels like. I think I will commit to letting go this time. Hopefully he will find someone in his path... and I will find somebody in mine. Only time will tell and only God knows.
I've been gone... first because I was enjoying the most wonderful trip of my life to our mother ship (aka--> Eretz Israel) and I have been gone... mentally... because Rabbi-who-stupidly-still-rocks-my-world is around, irritating me. GO HOME ALREADY!!!
Ok, so...before I keep firing love-hate manifestations of my love or enfatutation or whatever it is for Cute-Rabbi, I will tell you all about the most fantastic, unbelievable, present I have received from anyone who's not my parents. December 24th, I woke up before the crack of dawn to take my aunt, uncle & cousin to the airport... they were taking my cousin's kids to Israel, to start the sionist education early in their lives... I went back home, put on my PJs and started working on the project I had been delaying and had planned for the 2 week holidays I had- Project Non-Stop Sleep- (my office was closed without me wanting to take vacations cause I had no better plan) anywhooo... phone rings, cousin on the other side, asking if I was willing (willing?!?!) to hop on a plane the next day and sacrifice 32 hours of my life to go to the most fantastic country in the world... heck, would I sacrifice?!?!?!
Needless to say, next morning I was on my way. Flew next to a wonderful young girl from the USA to Tel Aviv, and though I'm not much of a flight talker -I'm usually carrying the typical do-not-disturb gadgets (iPod, book, siddur) I liked this girl and we had a wonderful conversation. She is Christian and has been involved in different church projects for the past few years. She was moving to Yerushalaim as a baby-sitter to help her friend who was having her 4th baby in 4 years.
I cried when I landed in Tel Aviv. And cried like a million other times. And laughed at myself and laughed with Cute-get-out-of-my-life-Rabbi when I confessed I was having a hard time davening at the Kotel because I could not stop crying and sobbing. WOW. The Kotel is alive. Have you felt that? Have you touch those walls? Have you felt the energy? That energy can only be felt in Yerushalaim. Beautiful Jerusalem of gold... and made of bronze and filled with light...
We went everywhere... from the borders with Lebanon to the borders of Egypt... from the Dead Sea to the Kineret... may Gd bless Israel... its beauty, its history, it' energy and its people. Le shana haba v'Yerushalaim... BH.
So, Cute-Rabbi is here, being "honest" as he can and making my mind go round,round-baby-round,round,like a record, baby, round, round, round, round... I am madly in love. You will never understand to what extent I am in love. But distance is horrible and he deserves someone who's there for him... someone close... someone there.... and so do I. In the past weeks we've looked like puppies in love and like enemies in battle... he has come close and he has distanced himself... all out of love and the pain that comes with it. I wish it was different. I wish I could understand what it is out of this situation that we both have to learn... is God telling us to go wild in the name of love? To drop our lifes and form a new life together with no plan, no income, no nothing other than love? Or is He teaching us to let go of our loved ones... the ultimate sacrifice?!?! That is what it feels like. I think I will commit to letting go this time. Hopefully he will find someone in his path... and I will find somebody in mine. Only time will tell and only God knows.
12/06/2006
I'm going to die alone!!!! (Gratuity: Sex & the City)
Woahhhh!!! Scary!!! I had my Miranda moment.. and it was not nice!!!
Did you ever watch that episode of Sex & the City, where Miranda starts choking in her apartment and there is nobody to help her and she freaks out until BH she manages to un-choke herself??? Then she's all freaked out she'll die alone and nobody will find her body and the cat will eat her face??? She starts over-feeding the cat!!!
OK, so.. .choking alone in your apartment is not fun, and yes, it does remind me horribly that it would be very very nice to have a hubby and kids to at least (sorry for my very morbid post BTW) find your body before the cat eats you up.
Ok, sorry for the typical single female crap. I'll shut up now.
Hebraica party this wkend at the beach... hopefully I'll meet new people!!! (if there is actually someone out there in this community that I haven't already met.)
Ciao for now!!!
Did you ever watch that episode of Sex & the City, where Miranda starts choking in her apartment and there is nobody to help her and she freaks out until BH she manages to un-choke herself??? Then she's all freaked out she'll die alone and nobody will find her body and the cat will eat her face??? She starts over-feeding the cat!!!
OK, so.. .choking alone in your apartment is not fun, and yes, it does remind me horribly that it would be very very nice to have a hubby and kids to at least (sorry for my very morbid post BTW) find your body before the cat eats you up.
Ok, sorry for the typical single female crap. I'll shut up now.
Hebraica party this wkend at the beach... hopefully I'll meet new people!!! (if there is actually someone out there in this community that I haven't already met.)
Ciao for now!!!
11/20/2006
Catching Up
HI all!!! I said I'd tell about a bunch of things and I try to keep my promises...
1- My trip to the Far East...
It was fantastic! I went for work and honestly I can tell you the Far East is a bunch of factories and hotels from where I stand... no Wall of China, no Pagodas, no nothing that you would expect a tourist to see... but experiencing new cultures in their everyday environment is fun too... I worked my buttocks off, but I can say I was very very happy...
2- The sexiest Rebbetzin -sorry RenReb, somebody took your place in my book, but that's only cause I haven't met you in person :o)-
The rabbi's wife in the synagogue I went to in Hong Kong is some HOT STUFF!!! I was so positively impressed! Funky modern high heels... long skirt but not to her ankles... her wig was a fantastic burgundy color... green eyes, fantastic makeup, very cool top... tall, skinny and with an attitude!!!! I thought she was great!!! Yes, I think people should be modest, but I think "sexy" is not a bad thing... it's not being immodest, sexy is an attitude. :o) I wanna be like her when I grow up!!!
3- Designer replicas and my guilt trip...
Ummm....I guess it's illegal and maybe immoral, but, ummm, I have a $1400 Technomarine, a $3800 Bvlgari (not originals, obviously) and bought my sister a Cartier, and my friends an Armani and a Rolex... I think I spent less than a hundred bucks in total... yikes!
4- My blind-date in Hong Kong...
Wonderful dinner, wonderful drinks, laughs, talks, we hit it off... It would be fantastic if HE DIDN'T LIVE IN THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD!!!! I'm so sick of long distance... I want Spiderman. I want him here. I want him NOWWWWW.
5- The cute guy I met in the train...
Just a cute mexican jewish guy... he was sooooo cute, had lunch at the airport, talked for a couple of hours and then, like the story of my life, he had a plane to catch and I haven't heard from him.
6- My hotel room overlooking the tallest building in the world...
Taiwan is nice. I loved Taipei. I had a hotel room as big as my apartment, overlooking the Taipei 101. What an impressive structure! It's standing out there... pretty much alone... surrounded by very small buildings, so it stands out dramatically like a power symbol!!! The color of the lights change every day, did you know that?
7- Missing out on Shabbes because I thought it was Thursday (tragic... i cried sooooo bad when I realized it)
One of those things you think can never happen. I was having dinner with my boss after an exhausting day of work, sure it was Thursday, had meetings scheduled for the next day, talking about work blah blah blah... and when we opened the calendar in my cell phone, there it was.... It was Friday night. No kiddush, no expectation, not even a shower before dinner... talking about work, using our electronic gadgets, with meetings scheduled the next day... WHAT A PAIR OF IDIOTS. My boss and I were in shock. We didn't know what to do!!! He said the kiddush over my glass of wine, and we then called (fairly late at night) to cancel our meetings. When I finally got to my room I started sobbing... until I realized what a blessing, it happened once... whereas there are soooo many jews out there who never ever get together to say kiddush... for whom Friday night is just another night... people who don't have the blessing of entering that splendid bond with God after candle lighting every Friday....
8- Survivor- Atlantic coast... you survive-your pictures don't!!!!
Four days. Four people. One dog. One boat. Atlantic coast, somewhere in central america... no toilet, no shower, no electricity... it was fantastic!!! I survived!!! And I enjoyed it!!! I had not camped since my last Hanoar Hatzioni Majane, back in 1990 or 91. The cameras didn't make it though... too much water.
9- Shabbes in the jungle
Saving the bread from the water was the most important task of all... everything got wet. Cameras were ruined.... clothes were completely wet... BUT I RESCUED THE CHALLAH!!!! We had a woderful Shabbat dinner, in the jungle, table set on a plastic bag on the floor... moonlight, stars, the ocean waves breaking behind us... WOW!!! It surely made up for the Shabbos I moronly missed!!!
10- My discussion with SpiderMan on what would Shabbos be like in the moon... or in a Space Station...
Really, it's not so far away from happening... So, how would it be? Would you follow your hometown's time? Is there no shabbos? Maybe follow the time of the place where you launched? Rotation of the moon takes a month, would there be shabbos every 7 Earth months? What would the Halacha say?
And now, back to working, working, working!!!
Nihau.
1- My trip to the Far East...
It was fantastic! I went for work and honestly I can tell you the Far East is a bunch of factories and hotels from where I stand... no Wall of China, no Pagodas, no nothing that you would expect a tourist to see... but experiencing new cultures in their everyday environment is fun too... I worked my buttocks off, but I can say I was very very happy...
2- The sexiest Rebbetzin -sorry RenReb, somebody took your place in my book, but that's only cause I haven't met you in person :o)-
The rabbi's wife in the synagogue I went to in Hong Kong is some HOT STUFF!!! I was so positively impressed! Funky modern high heels... long skirt but not to her ankles... her wig was a fantastic burgundy color... green eyes, fantastic makeup, very cool top... tall, skinny and with an attitude!!!! I thought she was great!!! Yes, I think people should be modest, but I think "sexy" is not a bad thing... it's not being immodest, sexy is an attitude. :o) I wanna be like her when I grow up!!!
3- Designer replicas and my guilt trip...
Ummm....I guess it's illegal and maybe immoral, but, ummm, I have a $1400 Technomarine, a $3800 Bvlgari (not originals, obviously) and bought my sister a Cartier, and my friends an Armani and a Rolex... I think I spent less than a hundred bucks in total... yikes!
4- My blind-date in Hong Kong...
Wonderful dinner, wonderful drinks, laughs, talks, we hit it off... It would be fantastic if HE DIDN'T LIVE IN THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD!!!! I'm so sick of long distance... I want Spiderman. I want him here. I want him NOWWWWW.
5- The cute guy I met in the train...
Just a cute mexican jewish guy... he was sooooo cute, had lunch at the airport, talked for a couple of hours and then, like the story of my life, he had a plane to catch and I haven't heard from him.
6- My hotel room overlooking the tallest building in the world...
Taiwan is nice. I loved Taipei. I had a hotel room as big as my apartment, overlooking the Taipei 101. What an impressive structure! It's standing out there... pretty much alone... surrounded by very small buildings, so it stands out dramatically like a power symbol!!! The color of the lights change every day, did you know that?
7- Missing out on Shabbes because I thought it was Thursday (tragic... i cried sooooo bad when I realized it)
One of those things you think can never happen. I was having dinner with my boss after an exhausting day of work, sure it was Thursday, had meetings scheduled for the next day, talking about work blah blah blah... and when we opened the calendar in my cell phone, there it was.... It was Friday night. No kiddush, no expectation, not even a shower before dinner... talking about work, using our electronic gadgets, with meetings scheduled the next day... WHAT A PAIR OF IDIOTS. My boss and I were in shock. We didn't know what to do!!! He said the kiddush over my glass of wine, and we then called (fairly late at night) to cancel our meetings. When I finally got to my room I started sobbing... until I realized what a blessing, it happened once... whereas there are soooo many jews out there who never ever get together to say kiddush... for whom Friday night is just another night... people who don't have the blessing of entering that splendid bond with God after candle lighting every Friday....
8- Survivor- Atlantic coast... you survive-your pictures don't!!!!
Four days. Four people. One dog. One boat. Atlantic coast, somewhere in central america... no toilet, no shower, no electricity... it was fantastic!!! I survived!!! And I enjoyed it!!! I had not camped since my last Hanoar Hatzioni Majane, back in 1990 or 91. The cameras didn't make it though... too much water.
9- Shabbes in the jungle
Saving the bread from the water was the most important task of all... everything got wet. Cameras were ruined.... clothes were completely wet... BUT I RESCUED THE CHALLAH!!!! We had a woderful Shabbat dinner, in the jungle, table set on a plastic bag on the floor... moonlight, stars, the ocean waves breaking behind us... WOW!!! It surely made up for the Shabbos I moronly missed!!!
10- My discussion with SpiderMan on what would Shabbos be like in the moon... or in a Space Station...
Really, it's not so far away from happening... So, how would it be? Would you follow your hometown's time? Is there no shabbos? Maybe follow the time of the place where you launched? Rotation of the moon takes a month, would there be shabbos every 7 Earth months? What would the Halacha say?
And now, back to working, working, working!!!
Nihau.
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