The countdown is almost over and the New Year will be here in no time. Time for instrospection, retrospection, letting go and moving forward. Quality time with the Almighty. Quality time within our souls and ourselves...
Chatima tova. May Gd write and seal you in the best of places and may this following year be oh-so-sweet!
9/20/2006
9/19/2006
the intervention i never told you about and moving out...
Sometime in June I mentioned an intervention in a post and never detailed about what had happened. One of my roommates, an adorable girl whom I love truly, is having sort of a late quarter-life crisis or a very early mid-life crisis. She's 30 yrs old, unemployed and single. Her focus on life has been partying, drinking and hooking up with men. Men that she brings home, which is my worst concern. That day I never told you guys about, my phone rang before 6am, with some stranger calling me saying he was with her, she was passed out and had no idea what to do with her. So, yeah, I had to take care of her and get her home. That was rock bottom. So we had a little intervention, some close friends told her what we thought and felt and how we get hurt with her behavior.
So she has been drinking less... but she hasn't been seeing less men. Well, actually she has, but let me get to the bottom of the story...
She's so needy and lonely that she will hook up with any man who hits on her; it can be 2 or 3 men a week. Of course they never take her seriously. I have been asked by a couple of people if she's actually a call girl, since people see her out with a different guy every single night. So of course, this is bugging the heck out of me. If it makes her happy, then cool. But I doubt it does. i think she feels lonelier and lonelier. But here's the deal: I live with non-jewish girls. I don't mind. They respect my stuff, I respect theirs. But I live in a very tight jewish community and for crying out loud, I had been dating a rabbi. I want a nice jewish family, husband, kids, SUV, dog, shabbat, the whole package. I shouldn't care what people say, but hey, I don't want to hang on to her reputation.
So, now her standpoint is interesting...she says she's more stable now. Yeah, she's been seeing the same guy for 3-4 weeks now. That's what she calls stable. Who is the guy? My cousin's brother-in-law. And darn, he's jewish. And he's very religious. And very orthodox. And dating a goy. Oy vey! A goy who's actually my friend. A goy whom I introduced him to with absolut naiveness. A goy who is 6 yrs older than him. So sadly, it is time to run away as fast as I can. This is gonna get messy and I don't want to be near the mess. So, I sadly had to decide to move out from my beautiful room with the gigantic window overlooking the Pacific. Sigh. I am sad about that. I guess it's a new beginning. I am moving in with my family until I get the apartment I bought, that is being under construction... it'll be at least 6 months till delivery.
I wish her well. Hope she doesn't get hurt too badly, but they have lost north. They lost the whole compass for crying out loud! They're leaving to Cuba or Cartagena or CanCun or some fun summer destination next week. And I will move out.
So yeah... we have been very polite and friendly. I have been 100% honest. I have told her I am not going to try to change her, and I can't share her lifestyle so for my sake and the friendship's sake, I am moving out.
The end of an era. Sigh.
So she has been drinking less... but she hasn't been seeing less men. Well, actually she has, but let me get to the bottom of the story...
She's so needy and lonely that she will hook up with any man who hits on her; it can be 2 or 3 men a week. Of course they never take her seriously. I have been asked by a couple of people if she's actually a call girl, since people see her out with a different guy every single night. So of course, this is bugging the heck out of me. If it makes her happy, then cool. But I doubt it does. i think she feels lonelier and lonelier. But here's the deal: I live with non-jewish girls. I don't mind. They respect my stuff, I respect theirs. But I live in a very tight jewish community and for crying out loud, I had been dating a rabbi. I want a nice jewish family, husband, kids, SUV, dog, shabbat, the whole package. I shouldn't care what people say, but hey, I don't want to hang on to her reputation.
So, now her standpoint is interesting...she says she's more stable now. Yeah, she's been seeing the same guy for 3-4 weeks now. That's what she calls stable. Who is the guy? My cousin's brother-in-law. And darn, he's jewish. And he's very religious. And very orthodox. And dating a goy. Oy vey! A goy who's actually my friend. A goy whom I introduced him to with absolut naiveness. A goy who is 6 yrs older than him. So sadly, it is time to run away as fast as I can. This is gonna get messy and I don't want to be near the mess. So, I sadly had to decide to move out from my beautiful room with the gigantic window overlooking the Pacific. Sigh. I am sad about that. I guess it's a new beginning. I am moving in with my family until I get the apartment I bought, that is being under construction... it'll be at least 6 months till delivery.
I wish her well. Hope she doesn't get hurt too badly, but they have lost north. They lost the whole compass for crying out loud! They're leaving to Cuba or Cartagena or CanCun or some fun summer destination next week. And I will move out.
So yeah... we have been very polite and friendly. I have been 100% honest. I have told her I am not going to try to change her, and I can't share her lifestyle so for my sake and the friendship's sake, I am moving out.
The end of an era. Sigh.
9/15/2006
Commitment-Phobia
ok ok ok ok ok!!!! I know I'm the only one to blame... I keep choosing to date commitment-phobic men. It has got to be something in me that gets drawn to that type of man even if I don't know he IS that type of man.
so right now, what I need is a Masculine-Language-to-English-translation. Here's the story:
I told you about Mr. Quiet. He returned from his busniess trip less and less quiet. Fantastic!!! We talked every day, even asked me out to dinner with his close friends on Saturday night. We had a blast! I play a weekly Risk game every Tuesday night, and quiet guy advised my friends that the game was being moved to Monday, cause Tuesday was his birthday... yes, HE organized and talked to my friends and behaved boyfriend-ish, without me ever asking. So, his birthday comes and he asks me for my friends' full names to invite them to his party... it was like 10 of his closest people and MY friends... again, quite boyfriendy, no?
So, tequila tequila tequila (it had been 10 yrs since I had my last tequila in CanCun for my senior trip). Anywhooo... we were really hitting it off. I was feeling happy. I was feeling taken care of. I was not thinking about anything other than I really like spending time with this guy and I really would like to get to know what he's about.
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: So, what do you want from me?
Jewcess: Mmmmm... nothing. (I keep laughing and dancing and partying)
time passes...
Jewcess: What do YOU want from me?
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: nothing... (laugh)but you're gonna have to tell me what you want from me when I drive you home.
So, he's driving me home, and honestly, this is 4am on a Tuesday night, I have had tequila, I am thinking the realtionship is walking marvelously and from what I can clearly recall from the conversation he said:
"I don't want a serious relationship. I don't want commitment. I just came out of a relationship. I don't want to report myself to someone 24/7 and I don't want to call anybody my girlfriend. I really like you and I have lots of fun with you but I don't want anything serious right now with anybody"
Of course, the only thing that crossed my mind was to give him a peck on the cheek, saying, I really love hanging out with you, but I guess we're in different channels...and got out of the car.
Wednesday morning he said we would talk about this another time, cause he knows it was really crazy timing (no sh** Sherlock!!!)... anywhooo, I would love to have a translator cause I am really doubting what he said or what he meant because of the inconsistency of his actions.
In a nutshell, yes, he is not that into me, and that is that, which is why unless he pulls down heaven and earth for me, we're through... but, did he really mean:
A) I really like you, but I'm freaking out. I just got out of a relationship and with you I would love to take it really slow so we don't do something stupid.
B) I've had fun, but hey, I'm done. Bye bye, baby, bye bye.
C) I wanna see how much power I have over you and see if you're gonna take all my crap.
D) None of the above.
So, watcha all think?
so right now, what I need is a Masculine-Language-to-English-translation. Here's the story:
I told you about Mr. Quiet. He returned from his busniess trip less and less quiet. Fantastic!!! We talked every day, even asked me out to dinner with his close friends on Saturday night. We had a blast! I play a weekly Risk game every Tuesday night, and quiet guy advised my friends that the game was being moved to Monday, cause Tuesday was his birthday... yes, HE organized and talked to my friends and behaved boyfriend-ish, without me ever asking. So, his birthday comes and he asks me for my friends' full names to invite them to his party... it was like 10 of his closest people and MY friends... again, quite boyfriendy, no?
So, tequila tequila tequila (it had been 10 yrs since I had my last tequila in CanCun for my senior trip). Anywhooo... we were really hitting it off. I was feeling happy. I was feeling taken care of. I was not thinking about anything other than I really like spending time with this guy and I really would like to get to know what he's about.
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: So, what do you want from me?
Jewcess: Mmmmm... nothing. (I keep laughing and dancing and partying)
time passes...
Jewcess: What do YOU want from me?
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: nothing... (laugh)but you're gonna have to tell me what you want from me when I drive you home.
So, he's driving me home, and honestly, this is 4am on a Tuesday night, I have had tequila, I am thinking the realtionship is walking marvelously and from what I can clearly recall from the conversation he said:
"I don't want a serious relationship. I don't want commitment. I just came out of a relationship. I don't want to report myself to someone 24/7 and I don't want to call anybody my girlfriend. I really like you and I have lots of fun with you but I don't want anything serious right now with anybody"
Of course, the only thing that crossed my mind was to give him a peck on the cheek, saying, I really love hanging out with you, but I guess we're in different channels...and got out of the car.
Wednesday morning he said we would talk about this another time, cause he knows it was really crazy timing (no sh** Sherlock!!!)... anywhooo, I would love to have a translator cause I am really doubting what he said or what he meant because of the inconsistency of his actions.
In a nutshell, yes, he is not that into me, and that is that, which is why unless he pulls down heaven and earth for me, we're through... but, did he really mean:
A) I really like you, but I'm freaking out. I just got out of a relationship and with you I would love to take it really slow so we don't do something stupid.
B) I've had fun, but hey, I'm done. Bye bye, baby, bye bye.
C) I wanna see how much power I have over you and see if you're gonna take all my crap.
D) None of the above.
So, watcha all think?
9/04/2006
dating is terrifying!!!
I wonder what it is about dating when you reach a certain age. I remember being 18/19 and falling head over heels with no stress, not thinking twice about it and saying what came into my head. I don't know if I've had way too many dissapointments, read to many "Rules" books or books with titles like "he's not that into you" maybe it's the fact that Spiderman talks to a wall if necessary and would never shut up and my new date is quiet as a mouse and freaks the heck out of me cause I don't know what goes on in his head.... I'm totally freaking out!!!!
So, here's an update: I have talked and seen him every day. Which according to "The Rules" is soooooo wrong cause he'll fall out of like ASAP. He left on a business trip today. Do you know how long ago was the last time I was seeing someone who was not leaving the country in a few days? Someone I could see every day? So, yeah, I'm freaking out.
People who are starting to fall for each other usually talk and laugh a lot. And we do, but just a bit. He's sooo darn quiet!!! He comes up with a joke or two. And we talk, it's not like we're always quiet.... but I'm used to speaking my mind and debating and talking and giving my opinions.. and he is very conservative with words. It's a good hting... I'm enough of a Word Tsunami for both of us.... LOL.
Oh well... he left and will be back in a couple of days. Hope he misses me, hope he thinks of me, hope my insecurities go down the drain before he gets back.
Anybody out there ever date a quiet, quiet man? I need to know if it's normal!!! HELP!!!
So, here's an update: I have talked and seen him every day. Which according to "The Rules" is soooooo wrong cause he'll fall out of like ASAP. He left on a business trip today. Do you know how long ago was the last time I was seeing someone who was not leaving the country in a few days? Someone I could see every day? So, yeah, I'm freaking out.
People who are starting to fall for each other usually talk and laugh a lot. And we do, but just a bit. He's sooo darn quiet!!! He comes up with a joke or two. And we talk, it's not like we're always quiet.... but I'm used to speaking my mind and debating and talking and giving my opinions.. and he is very conservative with words. It's a good hting... I'm enough of a Word Tsunami for both of us.... LOL.
Oh well... he left and will be back in a couple of days. Hope he misses me, hope he thinks of me, hope my insecurities go down the drain before he gets back.
Anybody out there ever date a quiet, quiet man? I need to know if it's normal!!! HELP!!!
8/30/2006
Could I have gotten me-self a new boyfriend?
Perhaps... perhaps... perhaps...
So. I've been lost from the Blogosphere cause I was out of town... at a "Kosher Beach Cocktail"... with 200 single jewish people. What an amazing time!!! We drank, we partied, we sang!!! Met a lot of people from out of town and also a lot of people from here. And guess what? I found a boy I like who aparently likes me!!! And guess what the best part is??? He's local... not leaving... no long distance!!! So far, so good. He calls, he's a gentleman, he's handsome.. he's great!!! I'll keep you posted... and... ejchemmm.. if all works out, maybe you guys can drop the bomb on Spiderman, so I don't have to.
Well... we're in Gd's hands now. If he's my bashert we'll eventually know.
Big kiss to all... and, ummm... daven for RenReb's inspiration to blog to come back. I miss her.
So. I've been lost from the Blogosphere cause I was out of town... at a "Kosher Beach Cocktail"... with 200 single jewish people. What an amazing time!!! We drank, we partied, we sang!!! Met a lot of people from out of town and also a lot of people from here. And guess what? I found a boy I like who aparently likes me!!! And guess what the best part is??? He's local... not leaving... no long distance!!! So far, so good. He calls, he's a gentleman, he's handsome.. he's great!!! I'll keep you posted... and... ejchemmm.. if all works out, maybe you guys can drop the bomb on Spiderman, so I don't have to.
Well... we're in Gd's hands now. If he's my bashert we'll eventually know.
Big kiss to all... and, ummm... daven for RenReb's inspiration to blog to come back. I miss her.
8/22/2006
I've been tagged!!!
The war in Israel apparently overloaded Bloglanders with too many hours of computer time, opinions and propaganda, so everybody seems to have been taking a break, myself included. I was going to post about something that pissed me off, and then I realized I got tagged, therefore changed my perspective of the post to something I found more fun. So here it is:
1. One book that changed your life?
Eckhart Tolle- The Power of Now
I've mentioned it before in this blog... this book is a fantastic read. Say goodbye to anxiety and depression for the rest of your life. Tolle's outlook on life, on G-d and on the irrelevance of the past and future make you think twice, three times and a hundred times of the innecesary suffering we put ourselves through so often.
2. One book you have read more than once?
The Little Prince- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I read this book constantly. It's beautiful, real and uplifting. (Yes, REAL. If you don't think so, you're just another grown-up like the ones he mentions.)
Jurassic Park-Michael Crichton
It's nothing like the movie. Jurassic Park might be a novel, but it is a book on Chaos Theory. It's fantastic.
Picture of Dorian Grey- Oscar Wilde
I read it ever so often... great quotes. Reminds me of whom I wouldn't ever want to become.
3. One book you would want on a desert island?
The Little Prince... and Torah, of course...
4. One book that made you laugh?
Jewish as a Second Language- Molly Katz hilariousssssss
5. One book that made you cry?
Paula- Isabel Allende
Tuesdays at Morrie's- Mitch Albom
Both books... I started crying from the first page.
6. One book you wish had been written?
A history book called "and the World Lived Happily Ever After"
7. One book you wish had never been written?
Every hateful book...
8. One book you are currently reading?
Sex Matters... From sex to superconsciousness-Osho
I'm only halfway through, but this book focuses on avoiding the control sex has on human lifes, appreciating the connection a sexual relation can bring to G-d as it is a most holly act, the manifestation of G-d's creative energy.
9. One book you've been meaning to read?
So much to read!!! So little time!!! I'm missing hundreds of books... I have some Isabel Allende's to read, I want to read a couple by Garcia Marquez, and a whole lot more... and of course, Harry Potter book 7, but JKR doesn't want to publish yet! Move, woman!!! We're waiting!!!
10. Now I'm supposed to tag 5 people... but, mmmm, I'll just let my readers (if there are any) tag themselves. :o)
Have a good one!
1. One book that changed your life?
Eckhart Tolle- The Power of Now
I've mentioned it before in this blog... this book is a fantastic read. Say goodbye to anxiety and depression for the rest of your life. Tolle's outlook on life, on G-d and on the irrelevance of the past and future make you think twice, three times and a hundred times of the innecesary suffering we put ourselves through so often.
2. One book you have read more than once?
The Little Prince- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I read this book constantly. It's beautiful, real and uplifting. (Yes, REAL. If you don't think so, you're just another grown-up like the ones he mentions.)
Jurassic Park-Michael Crichton
It's nothing like the movie. Jurassic Park might be a novel, but it is a book on Chaos Theory. It's fantastic.
Picture of Dorian Grey- Oscar Wilde
I read it ever so often... great quotes. Reminds me of whom I wouldn't ever want to become.
3. One book you would want on a desert island?
The Little Prince... and Torah, of course...
4. One book that made you laugh?
Jewish as a Second Language- Molly Katz hilariousssssss
5. One book that made you cry?
Paula- Isabel Allende
Tuesdays at Morrie's- Mitch Albom
Both books... I started crying from the first page.
6. One book you wish had been written?
A history book called "and the World Lived Happily Ever After"
7. One book you wish had never been written?
Every hateful book...
8. One book you are currently reading?
Sex Matters... From sex to superconsciousness-Osho
I'm only halfway through, but this book focuses on avoiding the control sex has on human lifes, appreciating the connection a sexual relation can bring to G-d as it is a most holly act, the manifestation of G-d's creative energy.
9. One book you've been meaning to read?
So much to read!!! So little time!!! I'm missing hundreds of books... I have some Isabel Allende's to read, I want to read a couple by Garcia Marquez, and a whole lot more... and of course, Harry Potter book 7, but JKR doesn't want to publish yet! Move, woman!!! We're waiting!!!
10. Now I'm supposed to tag 5 people... but, mmmm, I'll just let my readers (if there are any) tag themselves. :o)
Have a good one!
8/11/2006
TGIS!!! (Thank Gd it's Shabbat)
too tired to think. too tired to write. can't have more caffeine. mom had car accident today. B'H all ok. watched too many you tube videos. energy drained from thinking of 3 1/2 yr old girl on video saying she hates jews because we are apes and pigs, as the Coran allegedly says (haven't read Coran, doubt the words are there, if anyone can give full info, highly appreciated). tired of thinking of woman on video assuring Talmud says it is ok to rape 3 year old girls or something of the like, stopped paying attention by then. tired of fake pictures and cheap propaganda. tired of fear. tired of misinformation. tired of cruelty. tired. plain old tired.
that's why Hashem gave us Shabbos. rest, relax, and enjoy your loved ones. have a good one.
Shabbat Shalom.
that's why Hashem gave us Shabbos. rest, relax, and enjoy your loved ones. have a good one.
Shabbat Shalom.
8/10/2006
Extra! Extra!
Extra extra!!! Read all about it. Men are so funny, no doubt about it!!!
So, news from Spiderman. We talked through IM this morning. Says he was about to call me last night, yet didn't... why did he want to call??? Because he wanted to talk about the most amazing, life-changing book he's read in a while, book which of course, I recommended. Now then, we talked for like 1 minute about the book, and then the subject changed.
Spiderman: So, my parents said they saw you last Friday at Shull...
Jewcess: I see your parents at Shull all the time... I was in class with your mom last night. (?!?!)
Spiderman: Yeah, but, they said you showed up with a guy.
Jewcess: Really? (ha, ha, ha... evil laughter...is Spiderman JEALOUS?!?!)
Spiderman: Who is he??? I told them it must be your next door neighbor, ummm, right?
Jewcess: Ummm, no. It was Jon Doe, from London, moved here a couple of months ago.
Spiderman: and... are... you... dating him?
Jewcess: I'm not dating anybody. Oh, and by the way, if anyone tells you about my shull companion for next week, don't think I'm dating a wierd old man... it's just gonna be my daddy. He's coming to visit.
Spiderman: LOL... that's good to know.
There it is. Take a man who has a little bit of feelings for you. Make him jealous. Dissapear for a bit and WALLAAA!!! His insecurity swirls up. Now I'm guessing he had dissapeared thinking I was actually dating this Jon Doe character, which actually brings me to the next topic:
Jon Doe DID ask me out on a date. And I DID go out with him. And he IS cute, and he IS fun. BUT. He's not classy or well educated at all. He took me out on this wonderful pic-nic with another couple, but he kept burping and scratching his belly... I'm sorry but in my book that is sooooo not normal!!! Ewwwwwwwww!!!! It was a big turn-off and that was the last of it. I don't want to see him again, not as a date at least. Of course, I will never let Spiderman know, I'd rather keep him with the idea that I am out there being showered with flowers and candy by good-looking men. :o)
Now, as for the book he wanted to discuss, my recommendation to every human being on Earth: The Power of Now- Eckhart Tolle. Really life changing. Say good bye to anger. Say goodbye to depression. Say goodby to pain for the rest of your life.
Big kiss to all of you.. I'm in a super-duper good mood now!!!!!!
So, news from Spiderman. We talked through IM this morning. Says he was about to call me last night, yet didn't... why did he want to call??? Because he wanted to talk about the most amazing, life-changing book he's read in a while, book which of course, I recommended. Now then, we talked for like 1 minute about the book, and then the subject changed.
Spiderman: So, my parents said they saw you last Friday at Shull...
Jewcess: I see your parents at Shull all the time... I was in class with your mom last night. (?!?!)
Spiderman: Yeah, but, they said you showed up with a guy.
Jewcess: Really? (ha, ha, ha... evil laughter...is Spiderman JEALOUS?!?!)
Spiderman: Who is he??? I told them it must be your next door neighbor, ummm, right?
Jewcess: Ummm, no. It was Jon Doe, from London, moved here a couple of months ago.
Spiderman: and... are... you... dating him?
Jewcess: I'm not dating anybody. Oh, and by the way, if anyone tells you about my shull companion for next week, don't think I'm dating a wierd old man... it's just gonna be my daddy. He's coming to visit.
Spiderman: LOL... that's good to know.
There it is. Take a man who has a little bit of feelings for you. Make him jealous. Dissapear for a bit and WALLAAA!!! His insecurity swirls up. Now I'm guessing he had dissapeared thinking I was actually dating this Jon Doe character, which actually brings me to the next topic:
Jon Doe DID ask me out on a date. And I DID go out with him. And he IS cute, and he IS fun. BUT. He's not classy or well educated at all. He took me out on this wonderful pic-nic with another couple, but he kept burping and scratching his belly... I'm sorry but in my book that is sooooo not normal!!! Ewwwwwwwww!!!! It was a big turn-off and that was the last of it. I don't want to see him again, not as a date at least. Of course, I will never let Spiderman know, I'd rather keep him with the idea that I am out there being showered with flowers and candy by good-looking men. :o)
Now, as for the book he wanted to discuss, my recommendation to every human being on Earth: The Power of Now- Eckhart Tolle. Really life changing. Say good bye to anger. Say goodbye to depression. Say goodby to pain for the rest of your life.
Big kiss to all of you.. I'm in a super-duper good mood now!!!!!!
8/08/2006
Something bizarre is possessing my body!!!
What I did during the weekend??? Laid in my couch(Ok, stayed late at a friend's on Shabbat and went out on Saturday night.) But during the day, I laid in my couch.
What I had for dinner last night??? Oreo ice cream sandwich and a Bloody Mary.
Where my black laundry is??? the dryer (couldn't get myself to get it out and FOLD IT??!?!)
What time I got up this morning to go to martial arts??? mmmm, after the class was already over.
What I had this morning for breakfast??? Watermelon juice and a cigarrette (my cousin was smoking and I sort of craved one, though I'm not a smoker)... come think of it.. ewwww.... my hand still smells.
Ok. I have no idea where all this bizarre behavior is coming from but, hey, it's gotta stop. In the mean time I'm trying to understand, just like you, how a person can crave a cigarrete in the morning or have ice cream and bloody mary for dinner. I'm worried, what's next? Steak for lunch? (People, remember I'm a vegetarian, so yeah, steak would be wierd and bad)
Could it be the 45 minute conversation I had with my father? (who happens to be the Secretary of Religious Affairs in my home country) Could it be all the inside info he gave me and how freaked out he sounded about Israel's position, and how tired he was after the leaders of the community met for like 15 hours to assess the situation? Could it be the fact that I feel lonlier than usual, with no news from Spiderman? Could it be the conversation I had with this adorable Israeli I dated last year (who sadly had to go back to Israel) about how he broke his arm so wasn't called by the army to go to Lebanon, when all the guys in his rank were? Could it be the fact that my Aunt who is in congress had to read a motion from a young Bimbette (who must have climbed a strange ladder to reach the parliament), sancitoning Israel?
What the heck, I don't know... I'm gone now, off to check on the switch in my head that's causing trouble.
10-4
What I had for dinner last night??? Oreo ice cream sandwich and a Bloody Mary.
Where my black laundry is??? the dryer (couldn't get myself to get it out and FOLD IT??!?!)
What time I got up this morning to go to martial arts??? mmmm, after the class was already over.
What I had this morning for breakfast??? Watermelon juice and a cigarrette (my cousin was smoking and I sort of craved one, though I'm not a smoker)... come think of it.. ewwww.... my hand still smells.
Ok. I have no idea where all this bizarre behavior is coming from but, hey, it's gotta stop. In the mean time I'm trying to understand, just like you, how a person can crave a cigarrete in the morning or have ice cream and bloody mary for dinner. I'm worried, what's next? Steak for lunch? (People, remember I'm a vegetarian, so yeah, steak would be wierd and bad)
Could it be the 45 minute conversation I had with my father? (who happens to be the Secretary of Religious Affairs in my home country) Could it be all the inside info he gave me and how freaked out he sounded about Israel's position, and how tired he was after the leaders of the community met for like 15 hours to assess the situation? Could it be the fact that I feel lonlier than usual, with no news from Spiderman? Could it be the conversation I had with this adorable Israeli I dated last year (who sadly had to go back to Israel) about how he broke his arm so wasn't called by the army to go to Lebanon, when all the guys in his rank were? Could it be the fact that my Aunt who is in congress had to read a motion from a young Bimbette (who must have climbed a strange ladder to reach the parliament), sancitoning Israel?
What the heck, I don't know... I'm gone now, off to check on the switch in my head that's causing trouble.
10-4
8/07/2006
The Prime Minister will talk instead of me...
I did not hear this speech. I don't even have evidence that these were the Prime Minister's words on July 31st. But I agree with every word in this transcript, so I'm posting so the world will read (or at least the 3 people that visit my blog every day).
Israeli Prime Minister's Speech published in Maariv
July 31, 2006
"Ladies and gentlemen, leaders of the world. I, the Prime Minister of Israel, am speaking to you from Jerusalem in the face of the terrible pictures from Kfar Kana. Any human heart, wherever it is, must sicken and recoil at the sight of such pictures. There are no words of comfort that can mitigate the enormity of this tragedy. Still, I am looking you straight in the eye and telling you that the State of Israel will continue its military campaign in Lebanon.The Israel Defense Forces will continue to attack targets from which missiles and Katyusha rockets are fired at hospitals, old age homes and kindergartens in Israel. I have instructed the security forces and the IDF to continue to hunt for the Katyusha stockpiles and launch sites from which these savages are bombarding the State of Israel.We will not hesitate, we will not apologize and we will not back off. If they continue to launch missiles into Israel from Kfar Kana, we will continue to bomb Kfar Kana.
Today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Here, there and everywhere. The children ofKfar Kana could now be sleeping peacefully in their homes, unmolested,had the agents of the devil not taken over their land and turned the lives of our children into hell.Ladies and gentlemen, it's time you understood: the Jewish state will no longer be trampled upon. We will no longer allow anyone to exploit population centers in order to bomb our citizens. No one will be able to hide anymore behind women and children in order to kill our women and children. This anarchy is
over. You can condemn us, you can boycott us, you can stop visiting us and, if necessary, we will stop visiting you.
A voice for six million citizens.
Today I am serving as the voice of six million bombarded Israeli citizens who serve as the voice of six million murdered Jews who were melted down to dust and ashes by savages in Europe. In both cases, those responsible for these evil acts were, and are, barbarians devoid of all humanity, who set themselves one simple goal: to wipe the Jewish race off the face of the earth, as Adolph Hitler said, or to wipe the State of Israel off the map, as Mahmoud Ahmedinjad proclaims. And you - just as you did not take those words seriously then, you are ignoring them again now. And that, ladies and gentlemen, leaders of the world, will not happen again.
Never again will we wait for bombs that never came to hit the gas chambers.
Never again will we wait for salvation that never arrives. Now we have our own air force. The Jewish people are now capable of standing up to those who seek their destruction - those people will no longer be able to hide behind women and children. They will no longer be able to evade their responsibility.Every place from which a Katyusha is fired into the State of Israel will be a legitimate target for us to attack. This must be stated clearly and publicly, once and for all. You are welcome to judge us, to ostracize us, to boycott us and to vilify us.
But to kill us?Absolutely not. Four months ago I was elected by hundreds of thousands of citizens to the office of Prime Minister of the government of Israel, on the basis of my plan for unilaterally withdrawing from 90 percent of the areas of Judea and Samaria, the birth place and cradle of the Jewish people; to end most of the occupation and to enable the Palestinian people to turn over a new leaf and to calm things down until conditions are ripe for attaining a permanent settlement between us.The Prime Minister who preceded me, Ariel Sharon, made a full withdrawal from the Gaza Strip back to the international border, and gave the Palestinians there a chance to build a new reality for themselves.
The Prime Minister who preceded him, Ehud Barak, ended the lengthy Israeli presence in Lebanon and pulled the IDF back to the international border, leaving the land of the cedars to flourish, develop and establish its democracy and its economy.What did the State of Israel get in exchange for all of this? Did we win even one minute of quiet? Was our hand, outstretched in peace, met with a handshake of encouragement? Ehud Barak's peace initiative at Camp David let loose on us a wave of suicide bombers who smashed and blew to pieces over 1,000 citizens, men, women and children. I don't remember you being so enraged then. Maybe that happened because we did not allow TV close-ups of the dismembered body parts of the Israeli youngsters at the Dolphinarium? Or of the shattered lives of the people butchered while celebrating the Passover seder at the Park Hotel in Netanya?
What can you do - that's the way we are. We don't wave body parts at the camera. We grieve quietly.We do not dance on the roofs at the sight of the bodies of our enemy's children - we express genuine sorrow and regret.
That is the monstrous behavior of our enemies. Now they have risen up against us. Tomorrow they will rise up against you. You are already familiar with the murderous taste of this terror. And you will taste more. In a loud and clear voice.
And Ariel Sharon's withdrawal from Gaza. What did it get us? A barrage of Kassem missiles fired at peaceful settlements and the kidnapping of soldiers. Then too, I don't recall you reacting with such alarm. And for six years, the withdrawal from Lebanon has drawn the vituperation and crimes of a dangerous, extremist Iranian agent, who took over an entire country in the name of religious fanaticism and is trying to take Israel hostage on his way to Jerusalem - and from there to Paris and London. An enormous terrorist infrastructure has been established by Iran on our border, threatening our citizens, growing stronger before our very eyes, awaiting the moment when the land of the Ayatollahs becomes a nuclear power in order to bring us to our knees.
And make no mistake - we won't go down alone. You, the leaders of the free and enlightened world, will go down along with us.So today, here and now, I am putting an end to this parade of hypocrisy. I don't recall such a wave of reaction in the face of the 100 citizens killed every single day in Iraq. Sunnis kill Shiites who kill Sunnis, and all of them kill Americans - and the world remains silent. And I am hard pressed to recall a similar reaction when the Russians destroyed entire villages and burned down large cities in order to repress the revolt in Chechnya. And when NATO bombed Kosovo for almost three months and crushed the civilian population - then you also kept silent. What is it about us, the Jews, the minority, the persecuted, that arouses this cosmic sense of justice in you? What do we have that all the others don't?In a loud clear voice, looking you straight in
the eye, I stand before you openly and I will not apologize.I will not capitulate. I will not whine. This is a battle for our freedom.For our humanity. For the right to lead normal lives within our recognized, legitimate borders. It is also your battle. I pray and I believe that now you will understand that. Because if you don't, you may regret it later, when it's too late."
If any person from the western world reading this speech could still believe Israel has an ulterior motive or a hidden agenda.. well, then it would mean the world is really, really up-side down and filled with morons.
Israeli Prime Minister's Speech published in Maariv
July 31, 2006
"Ladies and gentlemen, leaders of the world. I, the Prime Minister of Israel, am speaking to you from Jerusalem in the face of the terrible pictures from Kfar Kana. Any human heart, wherever it is, must sicken and recoil at the sight of such pictures. There are no words of comfort that can mitigate the enormity of this tragedy. Still, I am looking you straight in the eye and telling you that the State of Israel will continue its military campaign in Lebanon.The Israel Defense Forces will continue to attack targets from which missiles and Katyusha rockets are fired at hospitals, old age homes and kindergartens in Israel. I have instructed the security forces and the IDF to continue to hunt for the Katyusha stockpiles and launch sites from which these savages are bombarding the State of Israel.We will not hesitate, we will not apologize and we will not back off. If they continue to launch missiles into Israel from Kfar Kana, we will continue to bomb Kfar Kana.
Today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Here, there and everywhere. The children ofKfar Kana could now be sleeping peacefully in their homes, unmolested,had the agents of the devil not taken over their land and turned the lives of our children into hell.Ladies and gentlemen, it's time you understood: the Jewish state will no longer be trampled upon. We will no longer allow anyone to exploit population centers in order to bomb our citizens. No one will be able to hide anymore behind women and children in order to kill our women and children. This anarchy is
over. You can condemn us, you can boycott us, you can stop visiting us and, if necessary, we will stop visiting you.
A voice for six million citizens.
Today I am serving as the voice of six million bombarded Israeli citizens who serve as the voice of six million murdered Jews who were melted down to dust and ashes by savages in Europe. In both cases, those responsible for these evil acts were, and are, barbarians devoid of all humanity, who set themselves one simple goal: to wipe the Jewish race off the face of the earth, as Adolph Hitler said, or to wipe the State of Israel off the map, as Mahmoud Ahmedinjad proclaims. And you - just as you did not take those words seriously then, you are ignoring them again now. And that, ladies and gentlemen, leaders of the world, will not happen again.
Never again will we wait for bombs that never came to hit the gas chambers.
Never again will we wait for salvation that never arrives. Now we have our own air force. The Jewish people are now capable of standing up to those who seek their destruction - those people will no longer be able to hide behind women and children. They will no longer be able to evade their responsibility.Every place from which a Katyusha is fired into the State of Israel will be a legitimate target for us to attack. This must be stated clearly and publicly, once and for all. You are welcome to judge us, to ostracize us, to boycott us and to vilify us.
But to kill us?Absolutely not. Four months ago I was elected by hundreds of thousands of citizens to the office of Prime Minister of the government of Israel, on the basis of my plan for unilaterally withdrawing from 90 percent of the areas of Judea and Samaria, the birth place and cradle of the Jewish people; to end most of the occupation and to enable the Palestinian people to turn over a new leaf and to calm things down until conditions are ripe for attaining a permanent settlement between us.The Prime Minister who preceded me, Ariel Sharon, made a full withdrawal from the Gaza Strip back to the international border, and gave the Palestinians there a chance to build a new reality for themselves.
The Prime Minister who preceded him, Ehud Barak, ended the lengthy Israeli presence in Lebanon and pulled the IDF back to the international border, leaving the land of the cedars to flourish, develop and establish its democracy and its economy.What did the State of Israel get in exchange for all of this? Did we win even one minute of quiet? Was our hand, outstretched in peace, met with a handshake of encouragement? Ehud Barak's peace initiative at Camp David let loose on us a wave of suicide bombers who smashed and blew to pieces over 1,000 citizens, men, women and children. I don't remember you being so enraged then. Maybe that happened because we did not allow TV close-ups of the dismembered body parts of the Israeli youngsters at the Dolphinarium? Or of the shattered lives of the people butchered while celebrating the Passover seder at the Park Hotel in Netanya?
What can you do - that's the way we are. We don't wave body parts at the camera. We grieve quietly.We do not dance on the roofs at the sight of the bodies of our enemy's children - we express genuine sorrow and regret.
That is the monstrous behavior of our enemies. Now they have risen up against us. Tomorrow they will rise up against you. You are already familiar with the murderous taste of this terror. And you will taste more. In a loud and clear voice.
And Ariel Sharon's withdrawal from Gaza. What did it get us? A barrage of Kassem missiles fired at peaceful settlements and the kidnapping of soldiers. Then too, I don't recall you reacting with such alarm. And for six years, the withdrawal from Lebanon has drawn the vituperation and crimes of a dangerous, extremist Iranian agent, who took over an entire country in the name of religious fanaticism and is trying to take Israel hostage on his way to Jerusalem - and from there to Paris and London. An enormous terrorist infrastructure has been established by Iran on our border, threatening our citizens, growing stronger before our very eyes, awaiting the moment when the land of the Ayatollahs becomes a nuclear power in order to bring us to our knees.
And make no mistake - we won't go down alone. You, the leaders of the free and enlightened world, will go down along with us.So today, here and now, I am putting an end to this parade of hypocrisy. I don't recall such a wave of reaction in the face of the 100 citizens killed every single day in Iraq. Sunnis kill Shiites who kill Sunnis, and all of them kill Americans - and the world remains silent. And I am hard pressed to recall a similar reaction when the Russians destroyed entire villages and burned down large cities in order to repress the revolt in Chechnya. And when NATO bombed Kosovo for almost three months and crushed the civilian population - then you also kept silent. What is it about us, the Jews, the minority, the persecuted, that arouses this cosmic sense of justice in you? What do we have that all the others don't?In a loud clear voice, looking you straight in
the eye, I stand before you openly and I will not apologize.I will not capitulate. I will not whine. This is a battle for our freedom.For our humanity. For the right to lead normal lives within our recognized, legitimate borders. It is also your battle. I pray and I believe that now you will understand that. Because if you don't, you may regret it later, when it's too late."
If any person from the western world reading this speech could still believe Israel has an ulterior motive or a hidden agenda.. well, then it would mean the world is really, really up-side down and filled with morons.
8/04/2006
Second Try... Arghhhh!!!
What is wrong with Blogspot today? I had a great post written, (at least I think it was great) tried to upload, couldn't do it, and all of a sudden it was gone.. poof.. disappeared... bye bye... so long... So I will attempt to try and say what I said before and will maybe add more stuff and eliminate some stuff and who knows, maybe it'll be a better post or the most boring thing ever. Anyway, I was writing about the debate in my head concerning Tisha b'Av and my feelings and reactions towards it.
First thing I was saying is the fact that I LOVE reading from the Book of Lamentations, and I find that bizarre. I love the poetry, I love the meaning, I love seeing everybody humbled on the floor, without shoes, candelight only, sitting closer than ever before like a family in the peace of their living room. I find it fascinating. I cry from the first alef. I cry, yet I LOVE it. Isn't it contrary to it's purpose? Tisha B'Av is not supposed to be of your liking, or well, maybe it is. Who likes to cry? Why do I feel such peace after crying like I do? I guess it's the fact that after mourning there is always light, always hope. The peace I leave the shull with every Erev 9Av is so profound.. I believe if everybody felt the way I do, such inner peace, Messianic times would really be just around the corner.
So I go home, and I read and I meditate and thank Gd for the bond I just had with all the people of our congregation, and then I fall asleep and then the next day comes... with quite a different ambience.
Full day of work. I can't even begin to complain about having to work all day because my boss is also working, showing up early in the morning, fasting... and this is a guy who is twice my height and more than twice my weight, therefore probably needs twice as much nourishment... So, the peace I felt on Erev 9Av is gone becasue I really truly become Hulk when I fast. The lack of caffeine and of energy turns me into somebody I really don't like. I'll bite anybody's head off (well, not really becasue biting someone's head off would mean breaking fast and let's not even begin to say it would be so-not-kosher and very very non-vegetarian) But I become Hulk, really, I ain't myself when I get angry, and when I fast I'm cranky and angry all the time and then I spend all day feeling guilty about biting the janitor's head off because he, with the sweetest of intentions, on the morning of Tisha B'Av, offered me a cup of coffee. Bad, bad JewCess. :o(
So I fast and get cranky and at times reflect on why I'm doing this and how much Israel needs this and how our Bait HaMikdash has to be re-built soon and how our boys at the Tzajal make me so proud and how lucky and blessed I am that I am healthy enough to survive the fasting without any complications.
And then we break fast, all the family together, and stay together till sort-of late at night, and the next morning comes (today) and guess what I have on my desk? Yup, an 8 ounce coffee the janitor brought me with a gigantic smile on his face. I apologized of course, and he just laughed and said I'm crazy. Here he was, with coffee, smiling, with absolutely no hard-feelings from the head-biting spree of which he was a victim.
More people should be like our janitor.
Now, off to enjoy my cup of coffee and wish you all caffeine addicts like me a wonderful caffeine rush.
Hope you had a meaningful, peaceful and enlightening fast.
First thing I was saying is the fact that I LOVE reading from the Book of Lamentations, and I find that bizarre. I love the poetry, I love the meaning, I love seeing everybody humbled on the floor, without shoes, candelight only, sitting closer than ever before like a family in the peace of their living room. I find it fascinating. I cry from the first alef. I cry, yet I LOVE it. Isn't it contrary to it's purpose? Tisha B'Av is not supposed to be of your liking, or well, maybe it is. Who likes to cry? Why do I feel such peace after crying like I do? I guess it's the fact that after mourning there is always light, always hope. The peace I leave the shull with every Erev 9Av is so profound.. I believe if everybody felt the way I do, such inner peace, Messianic times would really be just around the corner.
So I go home, and I read and I meditate and thank Gd for the bond I just had with all the people of our congregation, and then I fall asleep and then the next day comes... with quite a different ambience.
Full day of work. I can't even begin to complain about having to work all day because my boss is also working, showing up early in the morning, fasting... and this is a guy who is twice my height and more than twice my weight, therefore probably needs twice as much nourishment... So, the peace I felt on Erev 9Av is gone becasue I really truly become Hulk when I fast. The lack of caffeine and of energy turns me into somebody I really don't like. I'll bite anybody's head off (well, not really becasue biting someone's head off would mean breaking fast and let's not even begin to say it would be so-not-kosher and very very non-vegetarian) But I become Hulk, really, I ain't myself when I get angry, and when I fast I'm cranky and angry all the time and then I spend all day feeling guilty about biting the janitor's head off because he, with the sweetest of intentions, on the morning of Tisha B'Av, offered me a cup of coffee. Bad, bad JewCess. :o(
So I fast and get cranky and at times reflect on why I'm doing this and how much Israel needs this and how our Bait HaMikdash has to be re-built soon and how our boys at the Tzajal make me so proud and how lucky and blessed I am that I am healthy enough to survive the fasting without any complications.
And then we break fast, all the family together, and stay together till sort-of late at night, and the next morning comes (today) and guess what I have on my desk? Yup, an 8 ounce coffee the janitor brought me with a gigantic smile on his face. I apologized of course, and he just laughed and said I'm crazy. Here he was, with coffee, smiling, with absolutely no hard-feelings from the head-biting spree of which he was a victim.
More people should be like our janitor.
Now, off to enjoy my cup of coffee and wish you all caffeine addicts like me a wonderful caffeine rush.
Hope you had a meaningful, peaceful and enlightening fast.
8/02/2006
I judged too quickly, but here's to our boys!!!
First and foremost: Rebecca, you are a sweetheart!!! You just made my day!!!! My first commenter ever!!! Yeaiiii!!!!
So I posted a whiny comment saying my family would not fast on Tisha B'Av and would mock me like they did on 17 Tammuz... but I was too quick to judge. At least the situation in Israel has brought collective conscience to all and we will all [my family and me] have a peaceful fast B'H.
Now, to lift up morale, here are some pictures of our boys from the Tzajal... the strong, corageous and compassionate boys that fight for our safety and for our right to exist. Those for whom I will daven and fast for tonight...
You gotta love them!!! For now, I leave wishing you a peaceful fast, with this quote to ponder upon:
"Jews are compassionate children of compassionate parents, and one who shows no pity for fellow creatures is assuredly not of the seed of Abraham, our father."
- Babylonian Talmud, Betzah 32a
So I posted a whiny comment saying my family would not fast on Tisha B'Av and would mock me like they did on 17 Tammuz... but I was too quick to judge. At least the situation in Israel has brought collective conscience to all and we will all [my family and me] have a peaceful fast B'H.
Now, to lift up morale, here are some pictures of our boys from the Tzajal... the strong, corageous and compassionate boys that fight for our safety and for our right to exist. Those for whom I will daven and fast for tonight...
You gotta love them!!! For now, I leave wishing you a peaceful fast, with this quote to ponder upon:
"Jews are compassionate children of compassionate parents, and one who shows no pity for fellow creatures is assuredly not of the seed of Abraham, our father."
- Babylonian Talmud, Betzah 32a
8/01/2006
Nothing makes sense!
Today I came out as a blogger to my bestest best friend in the world, Merl. I had to, because I started reading my posts and realized I suck at writing and some posts make no sense... so I came out and appointed her Editor in Chief. So, if the blog becomes boring or things make no sense from here on, JewCess will blame Merl for it. :o)
So, to make things clear, here are some explanations I feel I have to make before I ever expect anybody to actually follow this blog, or maybe they were made before, but hey, if I wrote this and can't follow it, I can't begin to imagine that any of you could, though I'm sure most of you wouldn't have my levels of A.D.D. and maybe, sort of, could follow it as is, but anywhoo:
About me: Jewish. Conservative. Very religious. Not-Frum. Single. Craving a family. Too old to be single. Citizen of humanity. Citizen of the world. Yogini. Fashion designer. Madly in love with Spiderman.*
*Spiderman: He started this blog being he-who-rocks-my-world... and I really don't even know when I finally stated he's the Rabbi-to-be-who-rocks-my-world. In my tiny limited head I still think he's the love of my life and I will never ever find someone as wonderful as him. The only thing keeping him from perfection: He's not in love with me. :oP
If you want to know the reasons why we broke up, besides distance, click here.
Things that keep my head from thinking of Spiderman:
-Israel and the war (this makes me a lot sadder than my broken heart, I'd rather just be crying over unrequitted love)
-RenReb's blog (mmm, nah)
-Yoga (mmm... quite the opposite)
-Books (hmmmm... most remind me of him, because I always read and find something I would love to discuss with him)
Ok, just realized there aren't too many things to keep him off my head. Au contraire, what keeps him IN my head:
-Shull
-Music
-My yoga class (it's in his parent's building)
-My yoga master (his cousin)
-Books
-Shabbat
-Fondue
-Comics
-My fave restaurant (where we actually met)
-RenReb's blog (I want to be HIS Renegade Rebbetzin)
-Movies (he's seen EVERY movie in the world.. ok maybe not EVERY movie but almost)
-Soccer
-Kosher cheeseburgers
Ok... enough torture. Everything reminds me of him. I'm a lunatic.
Enough of this drama queen stuff, back to NOW and more importante things. 9Av is tomorrow and I will make sure to focus on the well-being of the world. I've said it before: Let's fast for better days to come. For peace. For love. For tolerance.
We're the love generation.
So, to make things clear, here are some explanations I feel I have to make before I ever expect anybody to actually follow this blog, or maybe they were made before, but hey, if I wrote this and can't follow it, I can't begin to imagine that any of you could, though I'm sure most of you wouldn't have my levels of A.D.D. and maybe, sort of, could follow it as is, but anywhoo:
About me: Jewish. Conservative. Very religious. Not-Frum. Single. Craving a family. Too old to be single. Citizen of humanity. Citizen of the world. Yogini. Fashion designer. Madly in love with Spiderman.*
*Spiderman: He started this blog being he-who-rocks-my-world... and I really don't even know when I finally stated he's the Rabbi-to-be-who-rocks-my-world. In my tiny limited head I still think he's the love of my life and I will never ever find someone as wonderful as him. The only thing keeping him from perfection: He's not in love with me. :oP
If you want to know the reasons why we broke up, besides distance, click here.
Things that keep my head from thinking of Spiderman:
-Israel and the war (this makes me a lot sadder than my broken heart, I'd rather just be crying over unrequitted love)
-RenReb's blog (mmm, nah)
-Yoga (mmm... quite the opposite)
-Books (hmmmm... most remind me of him, because I always read and find something I would love to discuss with him)
Ok, just realized there aren't too many things to keep him off my head. Au contraire, what keeps him IN my head:
-Shull
-Music
-My yoga class (it's in his parent's building)
-My yoga master (his cousin)
-Books
-Shabbat
-Fondue
-Comics
-My fave restaurant (where we actually met)
-RenReb's blog (I want to be HIS Renegade Rebbetzin)
-Movies (he's seen EVERY movie in the world.. ok maybe not EVERY movie but almost)
-Soccer
-Kosher cheeseburgers
Ok... enough torture. Everything reminds me of him. I'm a lunatic.
Enough of this drama queen stuff, back to NOW and more importante things. 9Av is tomorrow and I will make sure to focus on the well-being of the world. I've said it before: Let's fast for better days to come. For peace. For love. For tolerance.
We're the love generation.
7/28/2006
Confessions of a broken heart
Conversation one of these days at shull:
Old guy from shull who is the rabbi-who-still-rocks-my-world's grand uncle or whatever you call it, who I think is starting to loose his hearing because he very loudly asked:
[Note to readers: I have decided to call the Rabbi-to-be-who-still-rocks-my-world, Spiderman... it's just a funny inside joke based on the catch phrase "With power comes responsability]
Old Guy: So, what's Spiderman saying these days? What is he up to?
JewCess: Ummm... ummm.. I have no idea where he's at now.
Old Guy: What?
JewCess: Ummm...
Old Guy: Well, he's back in school, right?
JewCess: Ummm, yes.
Old Guy: So, what's he up to?
JewCess: Ummm, I really don't know, we haven't spoken lately.
(silence in the crowd)
Old Guy: You haven't spoken lately? He hasn't called you?
JewCess: Ummm, we haven't talked since last week.
Old Guy: You should be very pissed off!!! What is wrong with him???
JewCess: *Nervous giggle*
I turned around becasue I had already felt the cold and quiet in the shull. Rabbi, Rabbi's wife, Hebrew Mora who hates me becasue she is part of Spiderman's fan club, family, friends, all the people who want me as their rebbetzin, all the people who don't (hopefully these don't exist) and all the people who couldn't care less. Everybody.. quiet.. in awe... dropped jaws...
Rabbi jumps in and says, so we're going to start with today's activity...
You know how in the movies the scene freezes and starts going in slow motion until something triggers it to go back to normal? Well that was the way it was in shull... slow motion until the Rabbi smartly cut into the intense conversation...
Next day in shull:
Jane Doe, who is converting and loves Spiderman and I think she really likes me: So what's happening with Spiderman? Are you dating or not?
JewCess: ummm... no, I don't think so.
Jane Doe: Big bummer. You are the best couple ever.
Conversation days after, in shull:
John Doe: (standing less than 2 feet from Spiderman's mom) so, how's your boyfriend?
JewCess: Which of them?
John Doe: hahaha... our beloved Spiderman
JewCess: I have no idea.
John Doe: Oh my!!! You broke up?!?!?!?! (loud, very loud)
JewCess: Well, distance sucks.
John Doe: Yeah, distance does suck.
And I could write about 10 or more conversations like this in the last couple of days.
So yeah, distance sucks, my heart is broken and that is that. I wish I could just put up a poster in shull so people read this post and stop asking and stop sending emails of Spiderman as a baby, and stop talking about him as the wonderful rock star charisma guy he is. They should tell me he sucks. I love the idiot which makes me the main idiot and that is that. So there you go, confessions of a broken heart. Now that I shed my tears, it's off to fix my make-up and attempt to start dating again. Arghhhhh.
Old guy from shull who is the rabbi-who-still-rocks-my-world's grand uncle or whatever you call it, who I think is starting to loose his hearing because he very loudly asked:
[Note to readers: I have decided to call the Rabbi-to-be-who-still-rocks-my-world, Spiderman... it's just a funny inside joke based on the catch phrase "With power comes responsability]
Old Guy: So, what's Spiderman saying these days? What is he up to?
JewCess: Ummm... ummm.. I have no idea where he's at now.
Old Guy: What?
JewCess: Ummm...
Old Guy: Well, he's back in school, right?
JewCess: Ummm, yes.
Old Guy: So, what's he up to?
JewCess: Ummm, I really don't know, we haven't spoken lately.
(silence in the crowd)
Old Guy: You haven't spoken lately? He hasn't called you?
JewCess: Ummm, we haven't talked since last week.
Old Guy: You should be very pissed off!!! What is wrong with him???
JewCess: *Nervous giggle*
I turned around becasue I had already felt the cold and quiet in the shull. Rabbi, Rabbi's wife, Hebrew Mora who hates me becasue she is part of Spiderman's fan club, family, friends, all the people who want me as their rebbetzin, all the people who don't (hopefully these don't exist) and all the people who couldn't care less. Everybody.. quiet.. in awe... dropped jaws...
Rabbi jumps in and says, so we're going to start with today's activity...
You know how in the movies the scene freezes and starts going in slow motion until something triggers it to go back to normal? Well that was the way it was in shull... slow motion until the Rabbi smartly cut into the intense conversation...
Next day in shull:
Jane Doe, who is converting and loves Spiderman and I think she really likes me: So what's happening with Spiderman? Are you dating or not?
JewCess: ummm... no, I don't think so.
Jane Doe: Big bummer. You are the best couple ever.
Conversation days after, in shull:
John Doe: (standing less than 2 feet from Spiderman's mom) so, how's your boyfriend?
JewCess: Which of them?
John Doe: hahaha... our beloved Spiderman
JewCess: I have no idea.
John Doe: Oh my!!! You broke up?!?!?!?! (loud, very loud)
JewCess: Well, distance sucks.
John Doe: Yeah, distance does suck.
And I could write about 10 or more conversations like this in the last couple of days.
So yeah, distance sucks, my heart is broken and that is that. I wish I could just put up a poster in shull so people read this post and stop asking and stop sending emails of Spiderman as a baby, and stop talking about him as the wonderful rock star charisma guy he is. They should tell me he sucks. I love the idiot which makes me the main idiot and that is that. So there you go, confessions of a broken heart. Now that I shed my tears, it's off to fix my make-up and attempt to start dating again. Arghhhhh.
7/27/2006
All the world should hear!!!
Love in any language straight from the heart!!! Pulls us all together, never apart!!! once we learn to speak it, all the world will hear!!!
Do you know that song? I love it. And it popped in my head after I watched this video. There's no music, just a woman expressing her rights of freedom of speech, so, go ahead and click on the link.
Highlight of the video: "You can believe in stones, as long as you don't throw them at me."
LOVE IN ANY LANGUAGE... FLUENTLY SPOKEN HEEEERE!!!!
Do you know that song? I love it. And it popped in my head after I watched this video. There's no music, just a woman expressing her rights of freedom of speech, so, go ahead and click on the link.
Highlight of the video: "You can believe in stones, as long as you don't throw them at me."
LOVE IN ANY LANGUAGE... FLUENTLY SPOKEN HEEEERE!!!!
7/26/2006
And Av begins...
While studying in Shavuot, the Rabbi, who's a very very funny man, was asked why the shull wasn't full in Shavuot like it is on the so-called high holidays. How important is Shavuot? We received the Torah for crying out loud!!! What could be more important??? He answered, half joking and half true, well, Shavuot has a marketing problem.
Let's be realistic, nowadays a lot of our people are High Holiday Jews... you know who I'm talking about...the people who will never step foot in a synagogue but will surely be there on Yom Kippur... Those who work on Saturdays but will ask for days off from work on Rosh Hashannah... and to these people, holidays like Shavuot and fasts like Tisha B'Av have not been marketed properly. Both, I belileve are of the most important of holidays. Recieving Torah!!!! Mourning the Bait Hamikdash?!?!
I just find intriguing that a fast that is absolutely personal like Yom Kippur has become more important than the fasts of the 3 weeks, where we are fasting for others, for the world, for peace, for Moshiach!!! Is this an ego thing? Is it lack of education? Lack of marketing like the Rabbi said?
And I find myself in a debate... a serious debate. I work for a family business... with my uncle and cousins... you know how in orthodox homes your family expects you to be as orthodox as they are? G-d forbid you dress less modestly or do anything inappropriate... well, in Conservative homes, I have realized the opposite happens. On 17 Tammuz, I left the office 15 minutes earlier, as I was feeling tired... I wanted to go home and finish my fast in peace and quiet, and daven a bit... my uncle caught me in the middle of my escapade and though he wasn't rude, he did ask if I was crazy for fasting... and he said literally "Oh! (deep sigh)...our little rebbetzin." I thought it was cute, yet, I knew it was ununderstandable (is that a word?) for him... So here I am, knowing it will be business as usual on 9 Av and knowing they will mock me and think I'm just lazy for not wanting to come to work... Deep sigh.
Now, my next debate. I am a vegetarian. I don't eat desert during these days, but then again, unless it's Shabbat, I never eat desert, so that makes no big deal. Should I stop eating potatoes? I loooove potatoes...french fries, mashed potatoes, latkes, boiled potatoes, grilled potatoes, potato salad... love it! Maybe I should not eat potatoes...what else can I do to make this special? To make this important? To make this a bit of a sacrifice? Quit coffee??? Naaaaaaaah, that would be hazardous to my health... I don't know, opinions welcome here.
So here it is. We need to start a marketing campaign for non-famous holidays. I will start posting adds and articles before the counting of the next Omer, and will campaign on the importance of community fasting for the world... hope somebody is there with me.
We need peace. We need Moshiach. We need to stop eating potatoes.
Let's be realistic, nowadays a lot of our people are High Holiday Jews... you know who I'm talking about...the people who will never step foot in a synagogue but will surely be there on Yom Kippur... Those who work on Saturdays but will ask for days off from work on Rosh Hashannah... and to these people, holidays like Shavuot and fasts like Tisha B'Av have not been marketed properly. Both, I belileve are of the most important of holidays. Recieving Torah!!!! Mourning the Bait Hamikdash?!?!
I just find intriguing that a fast that is absolutely personal like Yom Kippur has become more important than the fasts of the 3 weeks, where we are fasting for others, for the world, for peace, for Moshiach!!! Is this an ego thing? Is it lack of education? Lack of marketing like the Rabbi said?
And I find myself in a debate... a serious debate. I work for a family business... with my uncle and cousins... you know how in orthodox homes your family expects you to be as orthodox as they are? G-d forbid you dress less modestly or do anything inappropriate... well, in Conservative homes, I have realized the opposite happens. On 17 Tammuz, I left the office 15 minutes earlier, as I was feeling tired... I wanted to go home and finish my fast in peace and quiet, and daven a bit... my uncle caught me in the middle of my escapade and though he wasn't rude, he did ask if I was crazy for fasting... and he said literally "Oh! (deep sigh)...our little rebbetzin." I thought it was cute, yet, I knew it was ununderstandable (is that a word?) for him... So here I am, knowing it will be business as usual on 9 Av and knowing they will mock me and think I'm just lazy for not wanting to come to work... Deep sigh.
Now, my next debate. I am a vegetarian. I don't eat desert during these days, but then again, unless it's Shabbat, I never eat desert, so that makes no big deal. Should I stop eating potatoes? I loooove potatoes...french fries, mashed potatoes, latkes, boiled potatoes, grilled potatoes, potato salad... love it! Maybe I should not eat potatoes...what else can I do to make this special? To make this important? To make this a bit of a sacrifice? Quit coffee??? Naaaaaaaah, that would be hazardous to my health... I don't know, opinions welcome here.
So here it is. We need to start a marketing campaign for non-famous holidays. I will start posting adds and articles before the counting of the next Omer, and will campaign on the importance of community fasting for the world... hope somebody is there with me.
We need peace. We need Moshiach. We need to stop eating potatoes.
7/24/2006
My heart is with Israel but my head is trying to move on... a bit at least
All of last week my head was in Israel... 24/7. Followed the news, debated online, read blogs, and in a nutshell just spent every minute thinking about Israel and what I could do. I was depressed and my energy levels were so low I even got sick. I joined an "Education for Peace" organization... and after that, tried to go back to my everyday activities... I figured, hey!people in our company have to eat too...
So near the weekend I decided to do the things I always do... shull activities, watch movies, read books, hang out with friends... So here's my movie and book report for this weekend:
Practical Kabbalah: A Guide to Jewish wisdom for Everyday Life by Rabbi Laibl Wolf This is a fantastic read!!! Sefirot for Dummies I would call it (not meaning to be disrespectful, but it's sooo practical, really) It is a day to day wording for an amazingly extraordinary topic. The book is full of wisdom and love. 100% recommended. It has a lot of meditations that I am now recording in order to use in my Torah Yoga practice.
Trembling Before G-d: This is a 2001 documentary which I only heard of now... we watched this movie at Shull last Thursday night and are preparing a debate on the topic. I found the documentary to be very intense and eye opening. I believe this debate is going to be very high-heat. I am of the belief that homosexuality cannot be undone... yet I have read about a lot of organizations who think differently. Well, I wish them luck. Being gay must be horribly hard, and I stand up for anybody who is in touch enough with themselves to know what they really feel. Anyhooooo.. more info will come after the debate, this could involve a 27 page post from my part.
Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Can I kiss Captain Sparrow? I want to kiss Captain Sparrow... is he jewish? Can I marry him??? He's a bit ego-maniac but oh (deep sigh) he's soooo cute!!!
So, there it is. The only things keeping my head from Israel... now back to reading the news/blogs and confirming that there is no Hezballah military equipment in civilian houses in Lebanon. (Last sentence written with a very sarcastic tone, pls just readthis to understand where I'm coming from)
Shalom Aleichem
So near the weekend I decided to do the things I always do... shull activities, watch movies, read books, hang out with friends... So here's my movie and book report for this weekend:
Practical Kabbalah: A Guide to Jewish wisdom for Everyday Life by Rabbi Laibl Wolf This is a fantastic read!!! Sefirot for Dummies I would call it (not meaning to be disrespectful, but it's sooo practical, really) It is a day to day wording for an amazingly extraordinary topic. The book is full of wisdom and love. 100% recommended. It has a lot of meditations that I am now recording in order to use in my Torah Yoga practice.
Trembling Before G-d: This is a 2001 documentary which I only heard of now... we watched this movie at Shull last Thursday night and are preparing a debate on the topic. I found the documentary to be very intense and eye opening. I believe this debate is going to be very high-heat. I am of the belief that homosexuality cannot be undone... yet I have read about a lot of organizations who think differently. Well, I wish them luck. Being gay must be horribly hard, and I stand up for anybody who is in touch enough with themselves to know what they really feel. Anyhooooo.. more info will come after the debate, this could involve a 27 page post from my part.
Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Can I kiss Captain Sparrow? I want to kiss Captain Sparrow... is he jewish? Can I marry him??? He's a bit ego-maniac but oh (deep sigh) he's soooo cute!!!
So, there it is. The only things keeping my head from Israel... now back to reading the news/blogs and confirming that there is no Hezballah military equipment in civilian houses in Lebanon. (Last sentence written with a very sarcastic tone, pls just readthis to understand where I'm coming from)
Shalom Aleichem
7/19/2006
Where are the parents?
Ok, so here's the deal. I want peace. We all need peace.
I am 100% pro Israel. I believe in this case Israel's moves, although sad, are a necessary evil.
And of course, I stick to my people. The world has harrassed us for years and years, and today, even though there's only 14 million of us, we stand straight and proud. The Holocaust didn't erradicate us and we will fight to see our children grow in a wonderful and peaceful Eretz Israel.
But something made me feel sick today... what on Earth are these girls doing? Yeah yeah yeah, "with love".. .come on people, let's stop the sarcasm. Where are these girls' parents? Are they behind them promoting this kind of Neandarthal behavior? Am I the only person disgusted by this image? The Arab world must be rejoicing to see we have morons on our side too and they have pictures to show for it. What a shame.
With power comes responsability (sorry for the very accurate, yet comic relif-like Spiderman reference)and us jews around the world have a big responsability. We have to set the example and not leave a doubt in anybody's mind of what our intentions are and what our values are. It is our responsability, today more than ever, to act kind, compassionate, thoughtfully and peacefully. May all our actions reflect our love for G-d and our love for Eretz Israel, as well as our love for all of G-d's creatures. It is our obligation from where I stand, and not our choice.
I am 100% pro Israel. I believe in this case Israel's moves, although sad, are a necessary evil.
And of course, I stick to my people. The world has harrassed us for years and years, and today, even though there's only 14 million of us, we stand straight and proud. The Holocaust didn't erradicate us and we will fight to see our children grow in a wonderful and peaceful Eretz Israel.
But something made me feel sick today... what on Earth are these girls doing? Yeah yeah yeah, "with love".. .come on people, let's stop the sarcasm. Where are these girls' parents? Are they behind them promoting this kind of Neandarthal behavior? Am I the only person disgusted by this image? The Arab world must be rejoicing to see we have morons on our side too and they have pictures to show for it. What a shame.
With power comes responsability (sorry for the very accurate, yet comic relif-like Spiderman reference)and us jews around the world have a big responsability. We have to set the example and not leave a doubt in anybody's mind of what our intentions are and what our values are. It is our responsability, today more than ever, to act kind, compassionate, thoughtfully and peacefully. May all our actions reflect our love for G-d and our love for Eretz Israel, as well as our love for all of G-d's creatures. It is our obligation from where I stand, and not our choice.
7/18/2006
Oreos
I just walked around the corner from my office in desperate need of Oreo's, not something I eat in my regular diet... while walking, I was looking around, thinking of Israel, of the world, of my relationship with G-d...
I am feeling down. The hormones, the fear and perhaps the impotence are lowering my energy levels to nothing. I couldn't get up today to go to martial arts.. it was too painful to leave my bed, and now I can't even begin to think of going to yoga... I want to jump into bed again.
I daven and think of Israel. I eat, and think of Israel. I work and multi-taskingly have a conversation with G-d on my point of view towards the situation and the why's and how's of what I think HIS plans are. Yes, I have done this out of impotence.
How can a conflict like this be solved? Can people change? Can ideologies change? Can this conflict be solved with mercy?
Islam fundamentalists have grown up in an environment completely opposite to mine. I grew up in a loving family. I was taught by my parents to choose life, be compassionate, be tolerant and create peace and harmony in my every act and thought.
Muslim Radicals rejoice on death. Children are taught to hate us more than what they love themselves, to hate us more than what they love their children.
Check this out.
These babies should be playing soccer, reading a book or preparing to be the next top-neurosurgeon in the yr 2020... not a martyr corpse nobody will remember for a cause that G-d most probably despises.
May G-d bless us, but most of all me HE bless them and their very lost souls.
I am feeling down. The hormones, the fear and perhaps the impotence are lowering my energy levels to nothing. I couldn't get up today to go to martial arts.. it was too painful to leave my bed, and now I can't even begin to think of going to yoga... I want to jump into bed again.
I daven and think of Israel. I eat, and think of Israel. I work and multi-taskingly have a conversation with G-d on my point of view towards the situation and the why's and how's of what I think HIS plans are. Yes, I have done this out of impotence.
How can a conflict like this be solved? Can people change? Can ideologies change? Can this conflict be solved with mercy?
Islam fundamentalists have grown up in an environment completely opposite to mine. I grew up in a loving family. I was taught by my parents to choose life, be compassionate, be tolerant and create peace and harmony in my every act and thought.
Muslim Radicals rejoice on death. Children are taught to hate us more than what they love themselves, to hate us more than what they love their children.
Check this out.
These babies should be playing soccer, reading a book or preparing to be the next top-neurosurgeon in the yr 2020... not a martyr corpse nobody will remember for a cause that G-d most probably despises.
May G-d bless us, but most of all me HE bless them and their very lost souls.
7/13/2006
Fasting can be wonderful, indeed
So we fast. Some of us because we are told to do so, some of us because we feel it's right... but almost everybody I know, who fasts, complains. Whiny people come to shull with a lemon in their hand to "avoid hunger"... and the complaining comes and goes and comes and goes... and I guess that's OK, complaining is part of the yiddische heritage.:o)
But through these complaints and suffering we forget the most important and wonderful things of these days of fasting. In Tammuz & Av, we mourn those who have fallen. We mourn for our Bait HaMikdash. We mourn the sadness and opression our people (and the people of the world) have lived. But we don't really fast for this tragic past. We don't fast in absolute sadness...we fast for a better future. We fast for the hope of a peaceful mankind. We fast for messianic times.
Ayurveda (traditional medicine used in India) recommends fasting as a way of healing the body. It's true that human beings need nurishment to live, but these moments of fasting cleanse our organism. It could be said that we live on the energy of our souls while we fast.
It's no wonder a bride and groom fast on their wedding day. The union of 2 souls is an act so glorious that these souls have more than enough energy without the need of food.
What we are doing today as a group and not as individuals is awesome. We are using our compasion, our souls' intrinsic energy, our flow of Hessed (urges to give and be compassionate) to make a better world. And what better day to do so than today, when Israel is at stake and the life of many is not as peaceful (Baruj Hashem)as my beloved ones' or mine?
Follow your inner energy, try not to complain and be greatful to be healthy enough to be able to fast. Your fasting is doing wonders for the Cosmic Energy of the universe. Remember that.
Wishing you a peaceful fast...
But through these complaints and suffering we forget the most important and wonderful things of these days of fasting. In Tammuz & Av, we mourn those who have fallen. We mourn for our Bait HaMikdash. We mourn the sadness and opression our people (and the people of the world) have lived. But we don't really fast for this tragic past. We don't fast in absolute sadness...we fast for a better future. We fast for the hope of a peaceful mankind. We fast for messianic times.
Ayurveda (traditional medicine used in India) recommends fasting as a way of healing the body. It's true that human beings need nurishment to live, but these moments of fasting cleanse our organism. It could be said that we live on the energy of our souls while we fast.
It's no wonder a bride and groom fast on their wedding day. The union of 2 souls is an act so glorious that these souls have more than enough energy without the need of food.
What we are doing today as a group and not as individuals is awesome. We are using our compasion, our souls' intrinsic energy, our flow of Hessed (urges to give and be compassionate) to make a better world. And what better day to do so than today, when Israel is at stake and the life of many is not as peaceful (Baruj Hashem)as my beloved ones' or mine?
Follow your inner energy, try not to complain and be greatful to be healthy enough to be able to fast. Your fasting is doing wonders for the Cosmic Energy of the universe. Remember that.
Wishing you a peaceful fast...
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