Confessions of a broken heart

Conversation one of these days at shull:

Old guy from shull who is the rabbi-who-still-rocks-my-world's grand uncle or whatever you call it, who I think is starting to loose his hearing because he very loudly asked:
[Note to readers: I have decided to call the Rabbi-to-be-who-still-rocks-my-world, Spiderman... it's just a funny inside joke based on the catch phrase "With power comes responsability]

Old Guy: So, what's Spiderman saying these days? What is he up to?
JewCess: Ummm... ummm.. I have no idea where he's at now.
Old Guy: What?
JewCess: Ummm...
Old Guy: Well, he's back in school, right?
JewCess: Ummm, yes.
Old Guy: So, what's he up to?
JewCess: Ummm, I really don't know, we haven't spoken lately.
(silence in the crowd)
Old Guy: You haven't spoken lately? He hasn't called you?
JewCess: Ummm, we haven't talked since last week.
Old Guy: You should be very pissed off!!! What is wrong with him???
JewCess: *Nervous giggle*
I turned around becasue I had already felt the cold and quiet in the shull. Rabbi, Rabbi's wife, Hebrew Mora who hates me becasue she is part of Spiderman's fan club, family, friends, all the people who want me as their rebbetzin, all the people who don't (hopefully these don't exist) and all the people who couldn't care less. Everybody.. quiet.. in awe... dropped jaws...

Rabbi jumps in and says, so we're going to start with today's activity...

You know how in the movies the scene freezes and starts going in slow motion until something triggers it to go back to normal? Well that was the way it was in shull... slow motion until the Rabbi smartly cut into the intense conversation...

Next day in shull:
Jane Doe, who is converting and loves Spiderman and I think she really likes me: So what's happening with Spiderman? Are you dating or not?
JewCess: ummm... no, I don't think so.
Jane Doe: Big bummer. You are the best couple ever.


Conversation days after, in shull:

John Doe: (standing less than 2 feet from Spiderman's mom) so, how's your boyfriend?
JewCess: Which of them?
John Doe: hahaha... our beloved Spiderman
JewCess: I have no idea.
John Doe: Oh my!!! You broke up?!?!?!?! (loud, very loud)
JewCess: Well, distance sucks.
John Doe: Yeah, distance does suck.

And I could write about 10 or more conversations like this in the last couple of days.

So yeah, distance sucks, my heart is broken and that is that. I wish I could just put up a poster in shull so people read this post and stop asking and stop sending emails of Spiderman as a baby, and stop talking about him as the wonderful rock star charisma guy he is. They should tell me he sucks. I love the idiot which makes me the main idiot and that is that. So there you go, confessions of a broken heart. Now that I shed my tears, it's off to fix my make-up and attempt to start dating again. Arghhhhh.