Woahhhh!!! Scary!!! I had my Miranda moment.. and it was not nice!!!
Did you ever watch that episode of Sex & the City, where Miranda starts choking in her apartment and there is nobody to help her and she freaks out until BH she manages to un-choke herself??? Then she's all freaked out she'll die alone and nobody will find her body and the cat will eat her face??? She starts over-feeding the cat!!!
OK, so.. .choking alone in your apartment is not fun, and yes, it does remind me horribly that it would be very very nice to have a hubby and kids to at least (sorry for my very morbid post BTW) find your body before the cat eats you up.
Ok, sorry for the typical single female crap. I'll shut up now.
Hebraica party this wkend at the beach... hopefully I'll meet new people!!! (if there is actually someone out there in this community that I haven't already met.)
Ciao for now!!!
11/20/2006
Catching Up
HI all!!! I said I'd tell about a bunch of things and I try to keep my promises...
1- My trip to the Far East...
It was fantastic! I went for work and honestly I can tell you the Far East is a bunch of factories and hotels from where I stand... no Wall of China, no Pagodas, no nothing that you would expect a tourist to see... but experiencing new cultures in their everyday environment is fun too... I worked my buttocks off, but I can say I was very very happy...
2- The sexiest Rebbetzin -sorry RenReb, somebody took your place in my book, but that's only cause I haven't met you in person :o)-
The rabbi's wife in the synagogue I went to in Hong Kong is some HOT STUFF!!! I was so positively impressed! Funky modern high heels... long skirt but not to her ankles... her wig was a fantastic burgundy color... green eyes, fantastic makeup, very cool top... tall, skinny and with an attitude!!!! I thought she was great!!! Yes, I think people should be modest, but I think "sexy" is not a bad thing... it's not being immodest, sexy is an attitude. :o) I wanna be like her when I grow up!!!
3- Designer replicas and my guilt trip...
Ummm....I guess it's illegal and maybe immoral, but, ummm, I have a $1400 Technomarine, a $3800 Bvlgari (not originals, obviously) and bought my sister a Cartier, and my friends an Armani and a Rolex... I think I spent less than a hundred bucks in total... yikes!
4- My blind-date in Hong Kong...
Wonderful dinner, wonderful drinks, laughs, talks, we hit it off... It would be fantastic if HE DIDN'T LIVE IN THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD!!!! I'm so sick of long distance... I want Spiderman. I want him here. I want him NOWWWWW.
5- The cute guy I met in the train...
Just a cute mexican jewish guy... he was sooooo cute, had lunch at the airport, talked for a couple of hours and then, like the story of my life, he had a plane to catch and I haven't heard from him.
6- My hotel room overlooking the tallest building in the world...
Taiwan is nice. I loved Taipei. I had a hotel room as big as my apartment, overlooking the Taipei 101. What an impressive structure! It's standing out there... pretty much alone... surrounded by very small buildings, so it stands out dramatically like a power symbol!!! The color of the lights change every day, did you know that?
7- Missing out on Shabbes because I thought it was Thursday (tragic... i cried sooooo bad when I realized it)
One of those things you think can never happen. I was having dinner with my boss after an exhausting day of work, sure it was Thursday, had meetings scheduled for the next day, talking about work blah blah blah... and when we opened the calendar in my cell phone, there it was.... It was Friday night. No kiddush, no expectation, not even a shower before dinner... talking about work, using our electronic gadgets, with meetings scheduled the next day... WHAT A PAIR OF IDIOTS. My boss and I were in shock. We didn't know what to do!!! He said the kiddush over my glass of wine, and we then called (fairly late at night) to cancel our meetings. When I finally got to my room I started sobbing... until I realized what a blessing, it happened once... whereas there are soooo many jews out there who never ever get together to say kiddush... for whom Friday night is just another night... people who don't have the blessing of entering that splendid bond with God after candle lighting every Friday....
8- Survivor- Atlantic coast... you survive-your pictures don't!!!!
Four days. Four people. One dog. One boat. Atlantic coast, somewhere in central america... no toilet, no shower, no electricity... it was fantastic!!! I survived!!! And I enjoyed it!!! I had not camped since my last Hanoar Hatzioni Majane, back in 1990 or 91. The cameras didn't make it though... too much water.
9- Shabbes in the jungle
Saving the bread from the water was the most important task of all... everything got wet. Cameras were ruined.... clothes were completely wet... BUT I RESCUED THE CHALLAH!!!! We had a woderful Shabbat dinner, in the jungle, table set on a plastic bag on the floor... moonlight, stars, the ocean waves breaking behind us... WOW!!! It surely made up for the Shabbos I moronly missed!!!
10- My discussion with SpiderMan on what would Shabbos be like in the moon... or in a Space Station...
Really, it's not so far away from happening... So, how would it be? Would you follow your hometown's time? Is there no shabbos? Maybe follow the time of the place where you launched? Rotation of the moon takes a month, would there be shabbos every 7 Earth months? What would the Halacha say?
And now, back to working, working, working!!!
Nihau.
1- My trip to the Far East...
It was fantastic! I went for work and honestly I can tell you the Far East is a bunch of factories and hotels from where I stand... no Wall of China, no Pagodas, no nothing that you would expect a tourist to see... but experiencing new cultures in their everyday environment is fun too... I worked my buttocks off, but I can say I was very very happy...
2- The sexiest Rebbetzin -sorry RenReb, somebody took your place in my book, but that's only cause I haven't met you in person :o)-
The rabbi's wife in the synagogue I went to in Hong Kong is some HOT STUFF!!! I was so positively impressed! Funky modern high heels... long skirt but not to her ankles... her wig was a fantastic burgundy color... green eyes, fantastic makeup, very cool top... tall, skinny and with an attitude!!!! I thought she was great!!! Yes, I think people should be modest, but I think "sexy" is not a bad thing... it's not being immodest, sexy is an attitude. :o) I wanna be like her when I grow up!!!
3- Designer replicas and my guilt trip...
Ummm....I guess it's illegal and maybe immoral, but, ummm, I have a $1400 Technomarine, a $3800 Bvlgari (not originals, obviously) and bought my sister a Cartier, and my friends an Armani and a Rolex... I think I spent less than a hundred bucks in total... yikes!
4- My blind-date in Hong Kong...
Wonderful dinner, wonderful drinks, laughs, talks, we hit it off... It would be fantastic if HE DIDN'T LIVE IN THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD!!!! I'm so sick of long distance... I want Spiderman. I want him here. I want him NOWWWWW.
5- The cute guy I met in the train...
Just a cute mexican jewish guy... he was sooooo cute, had lunch at the airport, talked for a couple of hours and then, like the story of my life, he had a plane to catch and I haven't heard from him.
6- My hotel room overlooking the tallest building in the world...
Taiwan is nice. I loved Taipei. I had a hotel room as big as my apartment, overlooking the Taipei 101. What an impressive structure! It's standing out there... pretty much alone... surrounded by very small buildings, so it stands out dramatically like a power symbol!!! The color of the lights change every day, did you know that?
7- Missing out on Shabbes because I thought it was Thursday (tragic... i cried sooooo bad when I realized it)
One of those things you think can never happen. I was having dinner with my boss after an exhausting day of work, sure it was Thursday, had meetings scheduled for the next day, talking about work blah blah blah... and when we opened the calendar in my cell phone, there it was.... It was Friday night. No kiddush, no expectation, not even a shower before dinner... talking about work, using our electronic gadgets, with meetings scheduled the next day... WHAT A PAIR OF IDIOTS. My boss and I were in shock. We didn't know what to do!!! He said the kiddush over my glass of wine, and we then called (fairly late at night) to cancel our meetings. When I finally got to my room I started sobbing... until I realized what a blessing, it happened once... whereas there are soooo many jews out there who never ever get together to say kiddush... for whom Friday night is just another night... people who don't have the blessing of entering that splendid bond with God after candle lighting every Friday....
8- Survivor- Atlantic coast... you survive-your pictures don't!!!!
Four days. Four people. One dog. One boat. Atlantic coast, somewhere in central america... no toilet, no shower, no electricity... it was fantastic!!! I survived!!! And I enjoyed it!!! I had not camped since my last Hanoar Hatzioni Majane, back in 1990 or 91. The cameras didn't make it though... too much water.
9- Shabbes in the jungle
Saving the bread from the water was the most important task of all... everything got wet. Cameras were ruined.... clothes were completely wet... BUT I RESCUED THE CHALLAH!!!! We had a woderful Shabbat dinner, in the jungle, table set on a plastic bag on the floor... moonlight, stars, the ocean waves breaking behind us... WOW!!! It surely made up for the Shabbos I moronly missed!!!
10- My discussion with SpiderMan on what would Shabbos be like in the moon... or in a Space Station...
Really, it's not so far away from happening... So, how would it be? Would you follow your hometown's time? Is there no shabbos? Maybe follow the time of the place where you launched? Rotation of the moon takes a month, would there be shabbos every 7 Earth months? What would the Halacha say?
And now, back to working, working, working!!!
Nihau.
11/08/2006
Wow.. it's been a while!!!
Well, hello Bloggers!!! I've been lost for a while, but I hope you understand it has been the good kind of lost... :o)
I have been keeping myself really busy and I have sooooo much to tell... I have been wanting to post, yet find no time whatsoever to do sooooo!!!
Right now I'm gonna head to work, but I will make sure to elaborate on the following issues very very soon... In the meantime, hey! I'm alive! BH
Issues to be discussed promptly:
1- My trip to the Far East...
2- The sexiest Rebbetzin -sorry RenReb, somebody took your place in my book, but that's only cause I haven't met you in person :o)-
3- Designer replicas and my guilt trip...
4- My blind-date in Hong Kong...
5- The cute guy I met in the train...
6- My hotel room overlooking the tallest building in the world...
7- Missing out on Shabbes because I thought it was Thursday (tragic... i cried sooooo bad when I realized it)
8- Survivor- Atlantic coast... you survive-your pictures don't!!!!
9- Shabbes in the jungle
10- My discussion with SpiderMan on what would Shabbos be like in the moon... or in a Space Station...
Interested? Stay tuned!!!!
10-4.
I have been keeping myself really busy and I have sooooo much to tell... I have been wanting to post, yet find no time whatsoever to do sooooo!!!
Right now I'm gonna head to work, but I will make sure to elaborate on the following issues very very soon... In the meantime, hey! I'm alive! BH
Issues to be discussed promptly:
1- My trip to the Far East...
2- The sexiest Rebbetzin -sorry RenReb, somebody took your place in my book, but that's only cause I haven't met you in person :o)-
3- Designer replicas and my guilt trip...
4- My blind-date in Hong Kong...
5- The cute guy I met in the train...
6- My hotel room overlooking the tallest building in the world...
7- Missing out on Shabbes because I thought it was Thursday (tragic... i cried sooooo bad when I realized it)
8- Survivor- Atlantic coast... you survive-your pictures don't!!!!
9- Shabbes in the jungle
10- My discussion with SpiderMan on what would Shabbos be like in the moon... or in a Space Station...
Interested? Stay tuned!!!!
10-4.
9/20/2006
Quality time
The countdown is almost over and the New Year will be here in no time. Time for instrospection, retrospection, letting go and moving forward. Quality time with the Almighty. Quality time within our souls and ourselves...
Chatima tova. May Gd write and seal you in the best of places and may this following year be oh-so-sweet!
Chatima tova. May Gd write and seal you in the best of places and may this following year be oh-so-sweet!
9/19/2006
the intervention i never told you about and moving out...
Sometime in June I mentioned an intervention in a post and never detailed about what had happened. One of my roommates, an adorable girl whom I love truly, is having sort of a late quarter-life crisis or a very early mid-life crisis. She's 30 yrs old, unemployed and single. Her focus on life has been partying, drinking and hooking up with men. Men that she brings home, which is my worst concern. That day I never told you guys about, my phone rang before 6am, with some stranger calling me saying he was with her, she was passed out and had no idea what to do with her. So, yeah, I had to take care of her and get her home. That was rock bottom. So we had a little intervention, some close friends told her what we thought and felt and how we get hurt with her behavior.
So she has been drinking less... but she hasn't been seeing less men. Well, actually she has, but let me get to the bottom of the story...
She's so needy and lonely that she will hook up with any man who hits on her; it can be 2 or 3 men a week. Of course they never take her seriously. I have been asked by a couple of people if she's actually a call girl, since people see her out with a different guy every single night. So of course, this is bugging the heck out of me. If it makes her happy, then cool. But I doubt it does. i think she feels lonelier and lonelier. But here's the deal: I live with non-jewish girls. I don't mind. They respect my stuff, I respect theirs. But I live in a very tight jewish community and for crying out loud, I had been dating a rabbi. I want a nice jewish family, husband, kids, SUV, dog, shabbat, the whole package. I shouldn't care what people say, but hey, I don't want to hang on to her reputation.
So, now her standpoint is interesting...she says she's more stable now. Yeah, she's been seeing the same guy for 3-4 weeks now. That's what she calls stable. Who is the guy? My cousin's brother-in-law. And darn, he's jewish. And he's very religious. And very orthodox. And dating a goy. Oy vey! A goy who's actually my friend. A goy whom I introduced him to with absolut naiveness. A goy who is 6 yrs older than him. So sadly, it is time to run away as fast as I can. This is gonna get messy and I don't want to be near the mess. So, I sadly had to decide to move out from my beautiful room with the gigantic window overlooking the Pacific. Sigh. I am sad about that. I guess it's a new beginning. I am moving in with my family until I get the apartment I bought, that is being under construction... it'll be at least 6 months till delivery.
I wish her well. Hope she doesn't get hurt too badly, but they have lost north. They lost the whole compass for crying out loud! They're leaving to Cuba or Cartagena or CanCun or some fun summer destination next week. And I will move out.
So yeah... we have been very polite and friendly. I have been 100% honest. I have told her I am not going to try to change her, and I can't share her lifestyle so for my sake and the friendship's sake, I am moving out.
The end of an era. Sigh.
So she has been drinking less... but she hasn't been seeing less men. Well, actually she has, but let me get to the bottom of the story...
She's so needy and lonely that she will hook up with any man who hits on her; it can be 2 or 3 men a week. Of course they never take her seriously. I have been asked by a couple of people if she's actually a call girl, since people see her out with a different guy every single night. So of course, this is bugging the heck out of me. If it makes her happy, then cool. But I doubt it does. i think she feels lonelier and lonelier. But here's the deal: I live with non-jewish girls. I don't mind. They respect my stuff, I respect theirs. But I live in a very tight jewish community and for crying out loud, I had been dating a rabbi. I want a nice jewish family, husband, kids, SUV, dog, shabbat, the whole package. I shouldn't care what people say, but hey, I don't want to hang on to her reputation.
So, now her standpoint is interesting...she says she's more stable now. Yeah, she's been seeing the same guy for 3-4 weeks now. That's what she calls stable. Who is the guy? My cousin's brother-in-law. And darn, he's jewish. And he's very religious. And very orthodox. And dating a goy. Oy vey! A goy who's actually my friend. A goy whom I introduced him to with absolut naiveness. A goy who is 6 yrs older than him. So sadly, it is time to run away as fast as I can. This is gonna get messy and I don't want to be near the mess. So, I sadly had to decide to move out from my beautiful room with the gigantic window overlooking the Pacific. Sigh. I am sad about that. I guess it's a new beginning. I am moving in with my family until I get the apartment I bought, that is being under construction... it'll be at least 6 months till delivery.
I wish her well. Hope she doesn't get hurt too badly, but they have lost north. They lost the whole compass for crying out loud! They're leaving to Cuba or Cartagena or CanCun or some fun summer destination next week. And I will move out.
So yeah... we have been very polite and friendly. I have been 100% honest. I have told her I am not going to try to change her, and I can't share her lifestyle so for my sake and the friendship's sake, I am moving out.
The end of an era. Sigh.
9/15/2006
Commitment-Phobia
ok ok ok ok ok!!!! I know I'm the only one to blame... I keep choosing to date commitment-phobic men. It has got to be something in me that gets drawn to that type of man even if I don't know he IS that type of man.
so right now, what I need is a Masculine-Language-to-English-translation. Here's the story:
I told you about Mr. Quiet. He returned from his busniess trip less and less quiet. Fantastic!!! We talked every day, even asked me out to dinner with his close friends on Saturday night. We had a blast! I play a weekly Risk game every Tuesday night, and quiet guy advised my friends that the game was being moved to Monday, cause Tuesday was his birthday... yes, HE organized and talked to my friends and behaved boyfriend-ish, without me ever asking. So, his birthday comes and he asks me for my friends' full names to invite them to his party... it was like 10 of his closest people and MY friends... again, quite boyfriendy, no?
So, tequila tequila tequila (it had been 10 yrs since I had my last tequila in CanCun for my senior trip). Anywhooo... we were really hitting it off. I was feeling happy. I was feeling taken care of. I was not thinking about anything other than I really like spending time with this guy and I really would like to get to know what he's about.
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: So, what do you want from me?
Jewcess: Mmmmm... nothing. (I keep laughing and dancing and partying)
time passes...
Jewcess: What do YOU want from me?
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: nothing... (laugh)but you're gonna have to tell me what you want from me when I drive you home.
So, he's driving me home, and honestly, this is 4am on a Tuesday night, I have had tequila, I am thinking the realtionship is walking marvelously and from what I can clearly recall from the conversation he said:
"I don't want a serious relationship. I don't want commitment. I just came out of a relationship. I don't want to report myself to someone 24/7 and I don't want to call anybody my girlfriend. I really like you and I have lots of fun with you but I don't want anything serious right now with anybody"
Of course, the only thing that crossed my mind was to give him a peck on the cheek, saying, I really love hanging out with you, but I guess we're in different channels...and got out of the car.
Wednesday morning he said we would talk about this another time, cause he knows it was really crazy timing (no sh** Sherlock!!!)... anywhooo, I would love to have a translator cause I am really doubting what he said or what he meant because of the inconsistency of his actions.
In a nutshell, yes, he is not that into me, and that is that, which is why unless he pulls down heaven and earth for me, we're through... but, did he really mean:
A) I really like you, but I'm freaking out. I just got out of a relationship and with you I would love to take it really slow so we don't do something stupid.
B) I've had fun, but hey, I'm done. Bye bye, baby, bye bye.
C) I wanna see how much power I have over you and see if you're gonna take all my crap.
D) None of the above.
So, watcha all think?
so right now, what I need is a Masculine-Language-to-English-translation. Here's the story:
I told you about Mr. Quiet. He returned from his busniess trip less and less quiet. Fantastic!!! We talked every day, even asked me out to dinner with his close friends on Saturday night. We had a blast! I play a weekly Risk game every Tuesday night, and quiet guy advised my friends that the game was being moved to Monday, cause Tuesday was his birthday... yes, HE organized and talked to my friends and behaved boyfriend-ish, without me ever asking. So, his birthday comes and he asks me for my friends' full names to invite them to his party... it was like 10 of his closest people and MY friends... again, quite boyfriendy, no?
So, tequila tequila tequila (it had been 10 yrs since I had my last tequila in CanCun for my senior trip). Anywhooo... we were really hitting it off. I was feeling happy. I was feeling taken care of. I was not thinking about anything other than I really like spending time with this guy and I really would like to get to know what he's about.
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: So, what do you want from me?
Jewcess: Mmmmm... nothing. (I keep laughing and dancing and partying)
time passes...
Jewcess: What do YOU want from me?
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: nothing... (laugh)but you're gonna have to tell me what you want from me when I drive you home.
So, he's driving me home, and honestly, this is 4am on a Tuesday night, I have had tequila, I am thinking the realtionship is walking marvelously and from what I can clearly recall from the conversation he said:
"I don't want a serious relationship. I don't want commitment. I just came out of a relationship. I don't want to report myself to someone 24/7 and I don't want to call anybody my girlfriend. I really like you and I have lots of fun with you but I don't want anything serious right now with anybody"
Of course, the only thing that crossed my mind was to give him a peck on the cheek, saying, I really love hanging out with you, but I guess we're in different channels...and got out of the car.
Wednesday morning he said we would talk about this another time, cause he knows it was really crazy timing (no sh** Sherlock!!!)... anywhooo, I would love to have a translator cause I am really doubting what he said or what he meant because of the inconsistency of his actions.
In a nutshell, yes, he is not that into me, and that is that, which is why unless he pulls down heaven and earth for me, we're through... but, did he really mean:
A) I really like you, but I'm freaking out. I just got out of a relationship and with you I would love to take it really slow so we don't do something stupid.
B) I've had fun, but hey, I'm done. Bye bye, baby, bye bye.
C) I wanna see how much power I have over you and see if you're gonna take all my crap.
D) None of the above.
So, watcha all think?
9/04/2006
dating is terrifying!!!
I wonder what it is about dating when you reach a certain age. I remember being 18/19 and falling head over heels with no stress, not thinking twice about it and saying what came into my head. I don't know if I've had way too many dissapointments, read to many "Rules" books or books with titles like "he's not that into you" maybe it's the fact that Spiderman talks to a wall if necessary and would never shut up and my new date is quiet as a mouse and freaks the heck out of me cause I don't know what goes on in his head.... I'm totally freaking out!!!!
So, here's an update: I have talked and seen him every day. Which according to "The Rules" is soooooo wrong cause he'll fall out of like ASAP. He left on a business trip today. Do you know how long ago was the last time I was seeing someone who was not leaving the country in a few days? Someone I could see every day? So, yeah, I'm freaking out.
People who are starting to fall for each other usually talk and laugh a lot. And we do, but just a bit. He's sooo darn quiet!!! He comes up with a joke or two. And we talk, it's not like we're always quiet.... but I'm used to speaking my mind and debating and talking and giving my opinions.. and he is very conservative with words. It's a good hting... I'm enough of a Word Tsunami for both of us.... LOL.
Oh well... he left and will be back in a couple of days. Hope he misses me, hope he thinks of me, hope my insecurities go down the drain before he gets back.
Anybody out there ever date a quiet, quiet man? I need to know if it's normal!!! HELP!!!
So, here's an update: I have talked and seen him every day. Which according to "The Rules" is soooooo wrong cause he'll fall out of like ASAP. He left on a business trip today. Do you know how long ago was the last time I was seeing someone who was not leaving the country in a few days? Someone I could see every day? So, yeah, I'm freaking out.
People who are starting to fall for each other usually talk and laugh a lot. And we do, but just a bit. He's sooo darn quiet!!! He comes up with a joke or two. And we talk, it's not like we're always quiet.... but I'm used to speaking my mind and debating and talking and giving my opinions.. and he is very conservative with words. It's a good hting... I'm enough of a Word Tsunami for both of us.... LOL.
Oh well... he left and will be back in a couple of days. Hope he misses me, hope he thinks of me, hope my insecurities go down the drain before he gets back.
Anybody out there ever date a quiet, quiet man? I need to know if it's normal!!! HELP!!!
8/30/2006
Could I have gotten me-self a new boyfriend?
Perhaps... perhaps... perhaps...
So. I've been lost from the Blogosphere cause I was out of town... at a "Kosher Beach Cocktail"... with 200 single jewish people. What an amazing time!!! We drank, we partied, we sang!!! Met a lot of people from out of town and also a lot of people from here. And guess what? I found a boy I like who aparently likes me!!! And guess what the best part is??? He's local... not leaving... no long distance!!! So far, so good. He calls, he's a gentleman, he's handsome.. he's great!!! I'll keep you posted... and... ejchemmm.. if all works out, maybe you guys can drop the bomb on Spiderman, so I don't have to.
Well... we're in Gd's hands now. If he's my bashert we'll eventually know.
Big kiss to all... and, ummm... daven for RenReb's inspiration to blog to come back. I miss her.
So. I've been lost from the Blogosphere cause I was out of town... at a "Kosher Beach Cocktail"... with 200 single jewish people. What an amazing time!!! We drank, we partied, we sang!!! Met a lot of people from out of town and also a lot of people from here. And guess what? I found a boy I like who aparently likes me!!! And guess what the best part is??? He's local... not leaving... no long distance!!! So far, so good. He calls, he's a gentleman, he's handsome.. he's great!!! I'll keep you posted... and... ejchemmm.. if all works out, maybe you guys can drop the bomb on Spiderman, so I don't have to.
Well... we're in Gd's hands now. If he's my bashert we'll eventually know.
Big kiss to all... and, ummm... daven for RenReb's inspiration to blog to come back. I miss her.
8/22/2006
I've been tagged!!!
The war in Israel apparently overloaded Bloglanders with too many hours of computer time, opinions and propaganda, so everybody seems to have been taking a break, myself included. I was going to post about something that pissed me off, and then I realized I got tagged, therefore changed my perspective of the post to something I found more fun. So here it is:
1. One book that changed your life?
Eckhart Tolle- The Power of Now
I've mentioned it before in this blog... this book is a fantastic read. Say goodbye to anxiety and depression for the rest of your life. Tolle's outlook on life, on G-d and on the irrelevance of the past and future make you think twice, three times and a hundred times of the innecesary suffering we put ourselves through so often.
2. One book you have read more than once?
The Little Prince- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I read this book constantly. It's beautiful, real and uplifting. (Yes, REAL. If you don't think so, you're just another grown-up like the ones he mentions.)
Jurassic Park-Michael Crichton
It's nothing like the movie. Jurassic Park might be a novel, but it is a book on Chaos Theory. It's fantastic.
Picture of Dorian Grey- Oscar Wilde
I read it ever so often... great quotes. Reminds me of whom I wouldn't ever want to become.
3. One book you would want on a desert island?
The Little Prince... and Torah, of course...
4. One book that made you laugh?
Jewish as a Second Language- Molly Katz hilariousssssss
5. One book that made you cry?
Paula- Isabel Allende
Tuesdays at Morrie's- Mitch Albom
Both books... I started crying from the first page.
6. One book you wish had been written?
A history book called "and the World Lived Happily Ever After"
7. One book you wish had never been written?
Every hateful book...
8. One book you are currently reading?
Sex Matters... From sex to superconsciousness-Osho
I'm only halfway through, but this book focuses on avoiding the control sex has on human lifes, appreciating the connection a sexual relation can bring to G-d as it is a most holly act, the manifestation of G-d's creative energy.
9. One book you've been meaning to read?
So much to read!!! So little time!!! I'm missing hundreds of books... I have some Isabel Allende's to read, I want to read a couple by Garcia Marquez, and a whole lot more... and of course, Harry Potter book 7, but JKR doesn't want to publish yet! Move, woman!!! We're waiting!!!
10. Now I'm supposed to tag 5 people... but, mmmm, I'll just let my readers (if there are any) tag themselves. :o)
Have a good one!
1. One book that changed your life?
Eckhart Tolle- The Power of Now
I've mentioned it before in this blog... this book is a fantastic read. Say goodbye to anxiety and depression for the rest of your life. Tolle's outlook on life, on G-d and on the irrelevance of the past and future make you think twice, three times and a hundred times of the innecesary suffering we put ourselves through so often.
2. One book you have read more than once?
The Little Prince- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I read this book constantly. It's beautiful, real and uplifting. (Yes, REAL. If you don't think so, you're just another grown-up like the ones he mentions.)
Jurassic Park-Michael Crichton
It's nothing like the movie. Jurassic Park might be a novel, but it is a book on Chaos Theory. It's fantastic.
Picture of Dorian Grey- Oscar Wilde
I read it ever so often... great quotes. Reminds me of whom I wouldn't ever want to become.
3. One book you would want on a desert island?
The Little Prince... and Torah, of course...
4. One book that made you laugh?
Jewish as a Second Language- Molly Katz hilariousssssss
5. One book that made you cry?
Paula- Isabel Allende
Tuesdays at Morrie's- Mitch Albom
Both books... I started crying from the first page.
6. One book you wish had been written?
A history book called "and the World Lived Happily Ever After"
7. One book you wish had never been written?
Every hateful book...
8. One book you are currently reading?
Sex Matters... From sex to superconsciousness-Osho
I'm only halfway through, but this book focuses on avoiding the control sex has on human lifes, appreciating the connection a sexual relation can bring to G-d as it is a most holly act, the manifestation of G-d's creative energy.
9. One book you've been meaning to read?
So much to read!!! So little time!!! I'm missing hundreds of books... I have some Isabel Allende's to read, I want to read a couple by Garcia Marquez, and a whole lot more... and of course, Harry Potter book 7, but JKR doesn't want to publish yet! Move, woman!!! We're waiting!!!
10. Now I'm supposed to tag 5 people... but, mmmm, I'll just let my readers (if there are any) tag themselves. :o)
Have a good one!
8/11/2006
TGIS!!! (Thank Gd it's Shabbat)
too tired to think. too tired to write. can't have more caffeine. mom had car accident today. B'H all ok. watched too many you tube videos. energy drained from thinking of 3 1/2 yr old girl on video saying she hates jews because we are apes and pigs, as the Coran allegedly says (haven't read Coran, doubt the words are there, if anyone can give full info, highly appreciated). tired of thinking of woman on video assuring Talmud says it is ok to rape 3 year old girls or something of the like, stopped paying attention by then. tired of fake pictures and cheap propaganda. tired of fear. tired of misinformation. tired of cruelty. tired. plain old tired.
that's why Hashem gave us Shabbos. rest, relax, and enjoy your loved ones. have a good one.
Shabbat Shalom.
that's why Hashem gave us Shabbos. rest, relax, and enjoy your loved ones. have a good one.
Shabbat Shalom.
8/10/2006
Extra! Extra!
Extra extra!!! Read all about it. Men are so funny, no doubt about it!!!
So, news from Spiderman. We talked through IM this morning. Says he was about to call me last night, yet didn't... why did he want to call??? Because he wanted to talk about the most amazing, life-changing book he's read in a while, book which of course, I recommended. Now then, we talked for like 1 minute about the book, and then the subject changed.
Spiderman: So, my parents said they saw you last Friday at Shull...
Jewcess: I see your parents at Shull all the time... I was in class with your mom last night. (?!?!)
Spiderman: Yeah, but, they said you showed up with a guy.
Jewcess: Really? (ha, ha, ha... evil laughter...is Spiderman JEALOUS?!?!)
Spiderman: Who is he??? I told them it must be your next door neighbor, ummm, right?
Jewcess: Ummm, no. It was Jon Doe, from London, moved here a couple of months ago.
Spiderman: and... are... you... dating him?
Jewcess: I'm not dating anybody. Oh, and by the way, if anyone tells you about my shull companion for next week, don't think I'm dating a wierd old man... it's just gonna be my daddy. He's coming to visit.
Spiderman: LOL... that's good to know.
There it is. Take a man who has a little bit of feelings for you. Make him jealous. Dissapear for a bit and WALLAAA!!! His insecurity swirls up. Now I'm guessing he had dissapeared thinking I was actually dating this Jon Doe character, which actually brings me to the next topic:
Jon Doe DID ask me out on a date. And I DID go out with him. And he IS cute, and he IS fun. BUT. He's not classy or well educated at all. He took me out on this wonderful pic-nic with another couple, but he kept burping and scratching his belly... I'm sorry but in my book that is sooooo not normal!!! Ewwwwwwwww!!!! It was a big turn-off and that was the last of it. I don't want to see him again, not as a date at least. Of course, I will never let Spiderman know, I'd rather keep him with the idea that I am out there being showered with flowers and candy by good-looking men. :o)
Now, as for the book he wanted to discuss, my recommendation to every human being on Earth: The Power of Now- Eckhart Tolle. Really life changing. Say good bye to anger. Say goodbye to depression. Say goodby to pain for the rest of your life.
Big kiss to all of you.. I'm in a super-duper good mood now!!!!!!
So, news from Spiderman. We talked through IM this morning. Says he was about to call me last night, yet didn't... why did he want to call??? Because he wanted to talk about the most amazing, life-changing book he's read in a while, book which of course, I recommended. Now then, we talked for like 1 minute about the book, and then the subject changed.
Spiderman: So, my parents said they saw you last Friday at Shull...
Jewcess: I see your parents at Shull all the time... I was in class with your mom last night. (?!?!)
Spiderman: Yeah, but, they said you showed up with a guy.
Jewcess: Really? (ha, ha, ha... evil laughter...is Spiderman JEALOUS?!?!)
Spiderman: Who is he??? I told them it must be your next door neighbor, ummm, right?
Jewcess: Ummm, no. It was Jon Doe, from London, moved here a couple of months ago.
Spiderman: and... are... you... dating him?
Jewcess: I'm not dating anybody. Oh, and by the way, if anyone tells you about my shull companion for next week, don't think I'm dating a wierd old man... it's just gonna be my daddy. He's coming to visit.
Spiderman: LOL... that's good to know.
There it is. Take a man who has a little bit of feelings for you. Make him jealous. Dissapear for a bit and WALLAAA!!! His insecurity swirls up. Now I'm guessing he had dissapeared thinking I was actually dating this Jon Doe character, which actually brings me to the next topic:
Jon Doe DID ask me out on a date. And I DID go out with him. And he IS cute, and he IS fun. BUT. He's not classy or well educated at all. He took me out on this wonderful pic-nic with another couple, but he kept burping and scratching his belly... I'm sorry but in my book that is sooooo not normal!!! Ewwwwwwwww!!!! It was a big turn-off and that was the last of it. I don't want to see him again, not as a date at least. Of course, I will never let Spiderman know, I'd rather keep him with the idea that I am out there being showered with flowers and candy by good-looking men. :o)
Now, as for the book he wanted to discuss, my recommendation to every human being on Earth: The Power of Now- Eckhart Tolle. Really life changing. Say good bye to anger. Say goodbye to depression. Say goodby to pain for the rest of your life.
Big kiss to all of you.. I'm in a super-duper good mood now!!!!!!
8/08/2006
Something bizarre is possessing my body!!!
What I did during the weekend??? Laid in my couch(Ok, stayed late at a friend's on Shabbat and went out on Saturday night.) But during the day, I laid in my couch.
What I had for dinner last night??? Oreo ice cream sandwich and a Bloody Mary.
Where my black laundry is??? the dryer (couldn't get myself to get it out and FOLD IT??!?!)
What time I got up this morning to go to martial arts??? mmmm, after the class was already over.
What I had this morning for breakfast??? Watermelon juice and a cigarrette (my cousin was smoking and I sort of craved one, though I'm not a smoker)... come think of it.. ewwww.... my hand still smells.
Ok. I have no idea where all this bizarre behavior is coming from but, hey, it's gotta stop. In the mean time I'm trying to understand, just like you, how a person can crave a cigarrete in the morning or have ice cream and bloody mary for dinner. I'm worried, what's next? Steak for lunch? (People, remember I'm a vegetarian, so yeah, steak would be wierd and bad)
Could it be the 45 minute conversation I had with my father? (who happens to be the Secretary of Religious Affairs in my home country) Could it be all the inside info he gave me and how freaked out he sounded about Israel's position, and how tired he was after the leaders of the community met for like 15 hours to assess the situation? Could it be the fact that I feel lonlier than usual, with no news from Spiderman? Could it be the conversation I had with this adorable Israeli I dated last year (who sadly had to go back to Israel) about how he broke his arm so wasn't called by the army to go to Lebanon, when all the guys in his rank were? Could it be the fact that my Aunt who is in congress had to read a motion from a young Bimbette (who must have climbed a strange ladder to reach the parliament), sancitoning Israel?
What the heck, I don't know... I'm gone now, off to check on the switch in my head that's causing trouble.
10-4
What I had for dinner last night??? Oreo ice cream sandwich and a Bloody Mary.
Where my black laundry is??? the dryer (couldn't get myself to get it out and FOLD IT??!?!)
What time I got up this morning to go to martial arts??? mmmm, after the class was already over.
What I had this morning for breakfast??? Watermelon juice and a cigarrette (my cousin was smoking and I sort of craved one, though I'm not a smoker)... come think of it.. ewwww.... my hand still smells.
Ok. I have no idea where all this bizarre behavior is coming from but, hey, it's gotta stop. In the mean time I'm trying to understand, just like you, how a person can crave a cigarrete in the morning or have ice cream and bloody mary for dinner. I'm worried, what's next? Steak for lunch? (People, remember I'm a vegetarian, so yeah, steak would be wierd and bad)
Could it be the 45 minute conversation I had with my father? (who happens to be the Secretary of Religious Affairs in my home country) Could it be all the inside info he gave me and how freaked out he sounded about Israel's position, and how tired he was after the leaders of the community met for like 15 hours to assess the situation? Could it be the fact that I feel lonlier than usual, with no news from Spiderman? Could it be the conversation I had with this adorable Israeli I dated last year (who sadly had to go back to Israel) about how he broke his arm so wasn't called by the army to go to Lebanon, when all the guys in his rank were? Could it be the fact that my Aunt who is in congress had to read a motion from a young Bimbette (who must have climbed a strange ladder to reach the parliament), sancitoning Israel?
What the heck, I don't know... I'm gone now, off to check on the switch in my head that's causing trouble.
10-4
8/07/2006
The Prime Minister will talk instead of me...
I did not hear this speech. I don't even have evidence that these were the Prime Minister's words on July 31st. But I agree with every word in this transcript, so I'm posting so the world will read (or at least the 3 people that visit my blog every day).
Israeli Prime Minister's Speech published in Maariv
July 31, 2006
"Ladies and gentlemen, leaders of the world. I, the Prime Minister of Israel, am speaking to you from Jerusalem in the face of the terrible pictures from Kfar Kana. Any human heart, wherever it is, must sicken and recoil at the sight of such pictures. There are no words of comfort that can mitigate the enormity of this tragedy. Still, I am looking you straight in the eye and telling you that the State of Israel will continue its military campaign in Lebanon.The Israel Defense Forces will continue to attack targets from which missiles and Katyusha rockets are fired at hospitals, old age homes and kindergartens in Israel. I have instructed the security forces and the IDF to continue to hunt for the Katyusha stockpiles and launch sites from which these savages are bombarding the State of Israel.We will not hesitate, we will not apologize and we will not back off. If they continue to launch missiles into Israel from Kfar Kana, we will continue to bomb Kfar Kana.
Today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Here, there and everywhere. The children ofKfar Kana could now be sleeping peacefully in their homes, unmolested,had the agents of the devil not taken over their land and turned the lives of our children into hell.Ladies and gentlemen, it's time you understood: the Jewish state will no longer be trampled upon. We will no longer allow anyone to exploit population centers in order to bomb our citizens. No one will be able to hide anymore behind women and children in order to kill our women and children. This anarchy is
over. You can condemn us, you can boycott us, you can stop visiting us and, if necessary, we will stop visiting you.
A voice for six million citizens.
Today I am serving as the voice of six million bombarded Israeli citizens who serve as the voice of six million murdered Jews who were melted down to dust and ashes by savages in Europe. In both cases, those responsible for these evil acts were, and are, barbarians devoid of all humanity, who set themselves one simple goal: to wipe the Jewish race off the face of the earth, as Adolph Hitler said, or to wipe the State of Israel off the map, as Mahmoud Ahmedinjad proclaims. And you - just as you did not take those words seriously then, you are ignoring them again now. And that, ladies and gentlemen, leaders of the world, will not happen again.
Never again will we wait for bombs that never came to hit the gas chambers.
Never again will we wait for salvation that never arrives. Now we have our own air force. The Jewish people are now capable of standing up to those who seek their destruction - those people will no longer be able to hide behind women and children. They will no longer be able to evade their responsibility.Every place from which a Katyusha is fired into the State of Israel will be a legitimate target for us to attack. This must be stated clearly and publicly, once and for all. You are welcome to judge us, to ostracize us, to boycott us and to vilify us.
But to kill us?Absolutely not. Four months ago I was elected by hundreds of thousands of citizens to the office of Prime Minister of the government of Israel, on the basis of my plan for unilaterally withdrawing from 90 percent of the areas of Judea and Samaria, the birth place and cradle of the Jewish people; to end most of the occupation and to enable the Palestinian people to turn over a new leaf and to calm things down until conditions are ripe for attaining a permanent settlement between us.The Prime Minister who preceded me, Ariel Sharon, made a full withdrawal from the Gaza Strip back to the international border, and gave the Palestinians there a chance to build a new reality for themselves.
The Prime Minister who preceded him, Ehud Barak, ended the lengthy Israeli presence in Lebanon and pulled the IDF back to the international border, leaving the land of the cedars to flourish, develop and establish its democracy and its economy.What did the State of Israel get in exchange for all of this? Did we win even one minute of quiet? Was our hand, outstretched in peace, met with a handshake of encouragement? Ehud Barak's peace initiative at Camp David let loose on us a wave of suicide bombers who smashed and blew to pieces over 1,000 citizens, men, women and children. I don't remember you being so enraged then. Maybe that happened because we did not allow TV close-ups of the dismembered body parts of the Israeli youngsters at the Dolphinarium? Or of the shattered lives of the people butchered while celebrating the Passover seder at the Park Hotel in Netanya?
What can you do - that's the way we are. We don't wave body parts at the camera. We grieve quietly.We do not dance on the roofs at the sight of the bodies of our enemy's children - we express genuine sorrow and regret.
That is the monstrous behavior of our enemies. Now they have risen up against us. Tomorrow they will rise up against you. You are already familiar with the murderous taste of this terror. And you will taste more. In a loud and clear voice.
And Ariel Sharon's withdrawal from Gaza. What did it get us? A barrage of Kassem missiles fired at peaceful settlements and the kidnapping of soldiers. Then too, I don't recall you reacting with such alarm. And for six years, the withdrawal from Lebanon has drawn the vituperation and crimes of a dangerous, extremist Iranian agent, who took over an entire country in the name of religious fanaticism and is trying to take Israel hostage on his way to Jerusalem - and from there to Paris and London. An enormous terrorist infrastructure has been established by Iran on our border, threatening our citizens, growing stronger before our very eyes, awaiting the moment when the land of the Ayatollahs becomes a nuclear power in order to bring us to our knees.
And make no mistake - we won't go down alone. You, the leaders of the free and enlightened world, will go down along with us.So today, here and now, I am putting an end to this parade of hypocrisy. I don't recall such a wave of reaction in the face of the 100 citizens killed every single day in Iraq. Sunnis kill Shiites who kill Sunnis, and all of them kill Americans - and the world remains silent. And I am hard pressed to recall a similar reaction when the Russians destroyed entire villages and burned down large cities in order to repress the revolt in Chechnya. And when NATO bombed Kosovo for almost three months and crushed the civilian population - then you also kept silent. What is it about us, the Jews, the minority, the persecuted, that arouses this cosmic sense of justice in you? What do we have that all the others don't?In a loud clear voice, looking you straight in
the eye, I stand before you openly and I will not apologize.I will not capitulate. I will not whine. This is a battle for our freedom.For our humanity. For the right to lead normal lives within our recognized, legitimate borders. It is also your battle. I pray and I believe that now you will understand that. Because if you don't, you may regret it later, when it's too late."
If any person from the western world reading this speech could still believe Israel has an ulterior motive or a hidden agenda.. well, then it would mean the world is really, really up-side down and filled with morons.
Israeli Prime Minister's Speech published in Maariv
July 31, 2006
"Ladies and gentlemen, leaders of the world. I, the Prime Minister of Israel, am speaking to you from Jerusalem in the face of the terrible pictures from Kfar Kana. Any human heart, wherever it is, must sicken and recoil at the sight of such pictures. There are no words of comfort that can mitigate the enormity of this tragedy. Still, I am looking you straight in the eye and telling you that the State of Israel will continue its military campaign in Lebanon.The Israel Defense Forces will continue to attack targets from which missiles and Katyusha rockets are fired at hospitals, old age homes and kindergartens in Israel. I have instructed the security forces and the IDF to continue to hunt for the Katyusha stockpiles and launch sites from which these savages are bombarding the State of Israel.We will not hesitate, we will not apologize and we will not back off. If they continue to launch missiles into Israel from Kfar Kana, we will continue to bomb Kfar Kana.
Today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Here, there and everywhere. The children ofKfar Kana could now be sleeping peacefully in their homes, unmolested,had the agents of the devil not taken over their land and turned the lives of our children into hell.Ladies and gentlemen, it's time you understood: the Jewish state will no longer be trampled upon. We will no longer allow anyone to exploit population centers in order to bomb our citizens. No one will be able to hide anymore behind women and children in order to kill our women and children. This anarchy is
over. You can condemn us, you can boycott us, you can stop visiting us and, if necessary, we will stop visiting you.
A voice for six million citizens.
Today I am serving as the voice of six million bombarded Israeli citizens who serve as the voice of six million murdered Jews who were melted down to dust and ashes by savages in Europe. In both cases, those responsible for these evil acts were, and are, barbarians devoid of all humanity, who set themselves one simple goal: to wipe the Jewish race off the face of the earth, as Adolph Hitler said, or to wipe the State of Israel off the map, as Mahmoud Ahmedinjad proclaims. And you - just as you did not take those words seriously then, you are ignoring them again now. And that, ladies and gentlemen, leaders of the world, will not happen again.
Never again will we wait for bombs that never came to hit the gas chambers.
Never again will we wait for salvation that never arrives. Now we have our own air force. The Jewish people are now capable of standing up to those who seek their destruction - those people will no longer be able to hide behind women and children. They will no longer be able to evade their responsibility.Every place from which a Katyusha is fired into the State of Israel will be a legitimate target for us to attack. This must be stated clearly and publicly, once and for all. You are welcome to judge us, to ostracize us, to boycott us and to vilify us.
But to kill us?Absolutely not. Four months ago I was elected by hundreds of thousands of citizens to the office of Prime Minister of the government of Israel, on the basis of my plan for unilaterally withdrawing from 90 percent of the areas of Judea and Samaria, the birth place and cradle of the Jewish people; to end most of the occupation and to enable the Palestinian people to turn over a new leaf and to calm things down until conditions are ripe for attaining a permanent settlement between us.The Prime Minister who preceded me, Ariel Sharon, made a full withdrawal from the Gaza Strip back to the international border, and gave the Palestinians there a chance to build a new reality for themselves.
The Prime Minister who preceded him, Ehud Barak, ended the lengthy Israeli presence in Lebanon and pulled the IDF back to the international border, leaving the land of the cedars to flourish, develop and establish its democracy and its economy.What did the State of Israel get in exchange for all of this? Did we win even one minute of quiet? Was our hand, outstretched in peace, met with a handshake of encouragement? Ehud Barak's peace initiative at Camp David let loose on us a wave of suicide bombers who smashed and blew to pieces over 1,000 citizens, men, women and children. I don't remember you being so enraged then. Maybe that happened because we did not allow TV close-ups of the dismembered body parts of the Israeli youngsters at the Dolphinarium? Or of the shattered lives of the people butchered while celebrating the Passover seder at the Park Hotel in Netanya?
What can you do - that's the way we are. We don't wave body parts at the camera. We grieve quietly.We do not dance on the roofs at the sight of the bodies of our enemy's children - we express genuine sorrow and regret.
That is the monstrous behavior of our enemies. Now they have risen up against us. Tomorrow they will rise up against you. You are already familiar with the murderous taste of this terror. And you will taste more. In a loud and clear voice.
And Ariel Sharon's withdrawal from Gaza. What did it get us? A barrage of Kassem missiles fired at peaceful settlements and the kidnapping of soldiers. Then too, I don't recall you reacting with such alarm. And for six years, the withdrawal from Lebanon has drawn the vituperation and crimes of a dangerous, extremist Iranian agent, who took over an entire country in the name of religious fanaticism and is trying to take Israel hostage on his way to Jerusalem - and from there to Paris and London. An enormous terrorist infrastructure has been established by Iran on our border, threatening our citizens, growing stronger before our very eyes, awaiting the moment when the land of the Ayatollahs becomes a nuclear power in order to bring us to our knees.
And make no mistake - we won't go down alone. You, the leaders of the free and enlightened world, will go down along with us.So today, here and now, I am putting an end to this parade of hypocrisy. I don't recall such a wave of reaction in the face of the 100 citizens killed every single day in Iraq. Sunnis kill Shiites who kill Sunnis, and all of them kill Americans - and the world remains silent. And I am hard pressed to recall a similar reaction when the Russians destroyed entire villages and burned down large cities in order to repress the revolt in Chechnya. And when NATO bombed Kosovo for almost three months and crushed the civilian population - then you also kept silent. What is it about us, the Jews, the minority, the persecuted, that arouses this cosmic sense of justice in you? What do we have that all the others don't?In a loud clear voice, looking you straight in
the eye, I stand before you openly and I will not apologize.I will not capitulate. I will not whine. This is a battle for our freedom.For our humanity. For the right to lead normal lives within our recognized, legitimate borders. It is also your battle. I pray and I believe that now you will understand that. Because if you don't, you may regret it later, when it's too late."
If any person from the western world reading this speech could still believe Israel has an ulterior motive or a hidden agenda.. well, then it would mean the world is really, really up-side down and filled with morons.
8/04/2006
Second Try... Arghhhh!!!
What is wrong with Blogspot today? I had a great post written, (at least I think it was great) tried to upload, couldn't do it, and all of a sudden it was gone.. poof.. disappeared... bye bye... so long... So I will attempt to try and say what I said before and will maybe add more stuff and eliminate some stuff and who knows, maybe it'll be a better post or the most boring thing ever. Anyway, I was writing about the debate in my head concerning Tisha b'Av and my feelings and reactions towards it.
First thing I was saying is the fact that I LOVE reading from the Book of Lamentations, and I find that bizarre. I love the poetry, I love the meaning, I love seeing everybody humbled on the floor, without shoes, candelight only, sitting closer than ever before like a family in the peace of their living room. I find it fascinating. I cry from the first alef. I cry, yet I LOVE it. Isn't it contrary to it's purpose? Tisha B'Av is not supposed to be of your liking, or well, maybe it is. Who likes to cry? Why do I feel such peace after crying like I do? I guess it's the fact that after mourning there is always light, always hope. The peace I leave the shull with every Erev 9Av is so profound.. I believe if everybody felt the way I do, such inner peace, Messianic times would really be just around the corner.
So I go home, and I read and I meditate and thank Gd for the bond I just had with all the people of our congregation, and then I fall asleep and then the next day comes... with quite a different ambience.
Full day of work. I can't even begin to complain about having to work all day because my boss is also working, showing up early in the morning, fasting... and this is a guy who is twice my height and more than twice my weight, therefore probably needs twice as much nourishment... So, the peace I felt on Erev 9Av is gone becasue I really truly become Hulk when I fast. The lack of caffeine and of energy turns me into somebody I really don't like. I'll bite anybody's head off (well, not really becasue biting someone's head off would mean breaking fast and let's not even begin to say it would be so-not-kosher and very very non-vegetarian) But I become Hulk, really, I ain't myself when I get angry, and when I fast I'm cranky and angry all the time and then I spend all day feeling guilty about biting the janitor's head off because he, with the sweetest of intentions, on the morning of Tisha B'Av, offered me a cup of coffee. Bad, bad JewCess. :o(
So I fast and get cranky and at times reflect on why I'm doing this and how much Israel needs this and how our Bait HaMikdash has to be re-built soon and how our boys at the Tzajal make me so proud and how lucky and blessed I am that I am healthy enough to survive the fasting without any complications.
And then we break fast, all the family together, and stay together till sort-of late at night, and the next morning comes (today) and guess what I have on my desk? Yup, an 8 ounce coffee the janitor brought me with a gigantic smile on his face. I apologized of course, and he just laughed and said I'm crazy. Here he was, with coffee, smiling, with absolutely no hard-feelings from the head-biting spree of which he was a victim.
More people should be like our janitor.
Now, off to enjoy my cup of coffee and wish you all caffeine addicts like me a wonderful caffeine rush.
Hope you had a meaningful, peaceful and enlightening fast.
First thing I was saying is the fact that I LOVE reading from the Book of Lamentations, and I find that bizarre. I love the poetry, I love the meaning, I love seeing everybody humbled on the floor, without shoes, candelight only, sitting closer than ever before like a family in the peace of their living room. I find it fascinating. I cry from the first alef. I cry, yet I LOVE it. Isn't it contrary to it's purpose? Tisha B'Av is not supposed to be of your liking, or well, maybe it is. Who likes to cry? Why do I feel such peace after crying like I do? I guess it's the fact that after mourning there is always light, always hope. The peace I leave the shull with every Erev 9Av is so profound.. I believe if everybody felt the way I do, such inner peace, Messianic times would really be just around the corner.
So I go home, and I read and I meditate and thank Gd for the bond I just had with all the people of our congregation, and then I fall asleep and then the next day comes... with quite a different ambience.
Full day of work. I can't even begin to complain about having to work all day because my boss is also working, showing up early in the morning, fasting... and this is a guy who is twice my height and more than twice my weight, therefore probably needs twice as much nourishment... So, the peace I felt on Erev 9Av is gone becasue I really truly become Hulk when I fast. The lack of caffeine and of energy turns me into somebody I really don't like. I'll bite anybody's head off (well, not really becasue biting someone's head off would mean breaking fast and let's not even begin to say it would be so-not-kosher and very very non-vegetarian) But I become Hulk, really, I ain't myself when I get angry, and when I fast I'm cranky and angry all the time and then I spend all day feeling guilty about biting the janitor's head off because he, with the sweetest of intentions, on the morning of Tisha B'Av, offered me a cup of coffee. Bad, bad JewCess. :o(
So I fast and get cranky and at times reflect on why I'm doing this and how much Israel needs this and how our Bait HaMikdash has to be re-built soon and how our boys at the Tzajal make me so proud and how lucky and blessed I am that I am healthy enough to survive the fasting without any complications.
And then we break fast, all the family together, and stay together till sort-of late at night, and the next morning comes (today) and guess what I have on my desk? Yup, an 8 ounce coffee the janitor brought me with a gigantic smile on his face. I apologized of course, and he just laughed and said I'm crazy. Here he was, with coffee, smiling, with absolutely no hard-feelings from the head-biting spree of which he was a victim.
More people should be like our janitor.
Now, off to enjoy my cup of coffee and wish you all caffeine addicts like me a wonderful caffeine rush.
Hope you had a meaningful, peaceful and enlightening fast.
8/02/2006
I judged too quickly, but here's to our boys!!!
First and foremost: Rebecca, you are a sweetheart!!! You just made my day!!!! My first commenter ever!!! Yeaiiii!!!!
So I posted a whiny comment saying my family would not fast on Tisha B'Av and would mock me like they did on 17 Tammuz... but I was too quick to judge. At least the situation in Israel has brought collective conscience to all and we will all [my family and me] have a peaceful fast B'H.
Now, to lift up morale, here are some pictures of our boys from the Tzajal... the strong, corageous and compassionate boys that fight for our safety and for our right to exist. Those for whom I will daven and fast for tonight...
You gotta love them!!! For now, I leave wishing you a peaceful fast, with this quote to ponder upon:
"Jews are compassionate children of compassionate parents, and one who shows no pity for fellow creatures is assuredly not of the seed of Abraham, our father."
- Babylonian Talmud, Betzah 32a
So I posted a whiny comment saying my family would not fast on Tisha B'Av and would mock me like they did on 17 Tammuz... but I was too quick to judge. At least the situation in Israel has brought collective conscience to all and we will all [my family and me] have a peaceful fast B'H.
Now, to lift up morale, here are some pictures of our boys from the Tzajal... the strong, corageous and compassionate boys that fight for our safety and for our right to exist. Those for whom I will daven and fast for tonight...
You gotta love them!!! For now, I leave wishing you a peaceful fast, with this quote to ponder upon:
"Jews are compassionate children of compassionate parents, and one who shows no pity for fellow creatures is assuredly not of the seed of Abraham, our father."
- Babylonian Talmud, Betzah 32a
8/01/2006
Nothing makes sense!
Today I came out as a blogger to my bestest best friend in the world, Merl. I had to, because I started reading my posts and realized I suck at writing and some posts make no sense... so I came out and appointed her Editor in Chief. So, if the blog becomes boring or things make no sense from here on, JewCess will blame Merl for it. :o)
So, to make things clear, here are some explanations I feel I have to make before I ever expect anybody to actually follow this blog, or maybe they were made before, but hey, if I wrote this and can't follow it, I can't begin to imagine that any of you could, though I'm sure most of you wouldn't have my levels of A.D.D. and maybe, sort of, could follow it as is, but anywhoo:
About me: Jewish. Conservative. Very religious. Not-Frum. Single. Craving a family. Too old to be single. Citizen of humanity. Citizen of the world. Yogini. Fashion designer. Madly in love with Spiderman.*
*Spiderman: He started this blog being he-who-rocks-my-world... and I really don't even know when I finally stated he's the Rabbi-to-be-who-rocks-my-world. In my tiny limited head I still think he's the love of my life and I will never ever find someone as wonderful as him. The only thing keeping him from perfection: He's not in love with me. :oP
If you want to know the reasons why we broke up, besides distance, click here.
Things that keep my head from thinking of Spiderman:
-Israel and the war (this makes me a lot sadder than my broken heart, I'd rather just be crying over unrequitted love)
-RenReb's blog (mmm, nah)
-Yoga (mmm... quite the opposite)
-Books (hmmmm... most remind me of him, because I always read and find something I would love to discuss with him)
Ok, just realized there aren't too many things to keep him off my head. Au contraire, what keeps him IN my head:
-Shull
-Music
-My yoga class (it's in his parent's building)
-My yoga master (his cousin)
-Books
-Shabbat
-Fondue
-Comics
-My fave restaurant (where we actually met)
-RenReb's blog (I want to be HIS Renegade Rebbetzin)
-Movies (he's seen EVERY movie in the world.. ok maybe not EVERY movie but almost)
-Soccer
-Kosher cheeseburgers
Ok... enough torture. Everything reminds me of him. I'm a lunatic.
Enough of this drama queen stuff, back to NOW and more importante things. 9Av is tomorrow and I will make sure to focus on the well-being of the world. I've said it before: Let's fast for better days to come. For peace. For love. For tolerance.
We're the love generation.
So, to make things clear, here are some explanations I feel I have to make before I ever expect anybody to actually follow this blog, or maybe they were made before, but hey, if I wrote this and can't follow it, I can't begin to imagine that any of you could, though I'm sure most of you wouldn't have my levels of A.D.D. and maybe, sort of, could follow it as is, but anywhoo:
About me: Jewish. Conservative. Very religious. Not-Frum. Single. Craving a family. Too old to be single. Citizen of humanity. Citizen of the world. Yogini. Fashion designer. Madly in love with Spiderman.*
*Spiderman: He started this blog being he-who-rocks-my-world... and I really don't even know when I finally stated he's the Rabbi-to-be-who-rocks-my-world. In my tiny limited head I still think he's the love of my life and I will never ever find someone as wonderful as him. The only thing keeping him from perfection: He's not in love with me. :oP
If you want to know the reasons why we broke up, besides distance, click here.
Things that keep my head from thinking of Spiderman:
-Israel and the war (this makes me a lot sadder than my broken heart, I'd rather just be crying over unrequitted love)
-RenReb's blog (mmm, nah)
-Yoga (mmm... quite the opposite)
-Books (hmmmm... most remind me of him, because I always read and find something I would love to discuss with him)
Ok, just realized there aren't too many things to keep him off my head. Au contraire, what keeps him IN my head:
-Shull
-Music
-My yoga class (it's in his parent's building)
-My yoga master (his cousin)
-Books
-Shabbat
-Fondue
-Comics
-My fave restaurant (where we actually met)
-RenReb's blog (I want to be HIS Renegade Rebbetzin)
-Movies (he's seen EVERY movie in the world.. ok maybe not EVERY movie but almost)
-Soccer
-Kosher cheeseburgers
Ok... enough torture. Everything reminds me of him. I'm a lunatic.
Enough of this drama queen stuff, back to NOW and more importante things. 9Av is tomorrow and I will make sure to focus on the well-being of the world. I've said it before: Let's fast for better days to come. For peace. For love. For tolerance.
We're the love generation.
7/28/2006
Confessions of a broken heart
Conversation one of these days at shull:
Old guy from shull who is the rabbi-who-still-rocks-my-world's grand uncle or whatever you call it, who I think is starting to loose his hearing because he very loudly asked:
[Note to readers: I have decided to call the Rabbi-to-be-who-still-rocks-my-world, Spiderman... it's just a funny inside joke based on the catch phrase "With power comes responsability]
Old Guy: So, what's Spiderman saying these days? What is he up to?
JewCess: Ummm... ummm.. I have no idea where he's at now.
Old Guy: What?
JewCess: Ummm...
Old Guy: Well, he's back in school, right?
JewCess: Ummm, yes.
Old Guy: So, what's he up to?
JewCess: Ummm, I really don't know, we haven't spoken lately.
(silence in the crowd)
Old Guy: You haven't spoken lately? He hasn't called you?
JewCess: Ummm, we haven't talked since last week.
Old Guy: You should be very pissed off!!! What is wrong with him???
JewCess: *Nervous giggle*
I turned around becasue I had already felt the cold and quiet in the shull. Rabbi, Rabbi's wife, Hebrew Mora who hates me becasue she is part of Spiderman's fan club, family, friends, all the people who want me as their rebbetzin, all the people who don't (hopefully these don't exist) and all the people who couldn't care less. Everybody.. quiet.. in awe... dropped jaws...
Rabbi jumps in and says, so we're going to start with today's activity...
You know how in the movies the scene freezes and starts going in slow motion until something triggers it to go back to normal? Well that was the way it was in shull... slow motion until the Rabbi smartly cut into the intense conversation...
Next day in shull:
Jane Doe, who is converting and loves Spiderman and I think she really likes me: So what's happening with Spiderman? Are you dating or not?
JewCess: ummm... no, I don't think so.
Jane Doe: Big bummer. You are the best couple ever.
Conversation days after, in shull:
John Doe: (standing less than 2 feet from Spiderman's mom) so, how's your boyfriend?
JewCess: Which of them?
John Doe: hahaha... our beloved Spiderman
JewCess: I have no idea.
John Doe: Oh my!!! You broke up?!?!?!?! (loud, very loud)
JewCess: Well, distance sucks.
John Doe: Yeah, distance does suck.
And I could write about 10 or more conversations like this in the last couple of days.
So yeah, distance sucks, my heart is broken and that is that. I wish I could just put up a poster in shull so people read this post and stop asking and stop sending emails of Spiderman as a baby, and stop talking about him as the wonderful rock star charisma guy he is. They should tell me he sucks. I love the idiot which makes me the main idiot and that is that. So there you go, confessions of a broken heart. Now that I shed my tears, it's off to fix my make-up and attempt to start dating again. Arghhhhh.
Old guy from shull who is the rabbi-who-still-rocks-my-world's grand uncle or whatever you call it, who I think is starting to loose his hearing because he very loudly asked:
[Note to readers: I have decided to call the Rabbi-to-be-who-still-rocks-my-world, Spiderman... it's just a funny inside joke based on the catch phrase "With power comes responsability]
Old Guy: So, what's Spiderman saying these days? What is he up to?
JewCess: Ummm... ummm.. I have no idea where he's at now.
Old Guy: What?
JewCess: Ummm...
Old Guy: Well, he's back in school, right?
JewCess: Ummm, yes.
Old Guy: So, what's he up to?
JewCess: Ummm, I really don't know, we haven't spoken lately.
(silence in the crowd)
Old Guy: You haven't spoken lately? He hasn't called you?
JewCess: Ummm, we haven't talked since last week.
Old Guy: You should be very pissed off!!! What is wrong with him???
JewCess: *Nervous giggle*
I turned around becasue I had already felt the cold and quiet in the shull. Rabbi, Rabbi's wife, Hebrew Mora who hates me becasue she is part of Spiderman's fan club, family, friends, all the people who want me as their rebbetzin, all the people who don't (hopefully these don't exist) and all the people who couldn't care less. Everybody.. quiet.. in awe... dropped jaws...
Rabbi jumps in and says, so we're going to start with today's activity...
You know how in the movies the scene freezes and starts going in slow motion until something triggers it to go back to normal? Well that was the way it was in shull... slow motion until the Rabbi smartly cut into the intense conversation...
Next day in shull:
Jane Doe, who is converting and loves Spiderman and I think she really likes me: So what's happening with Spiderman? Are you dating or not?
JewCess: ummm... no, I don't think so.
Jane Doe: Big bummer. You are the best couple ever.
Conversation days after, in shull:
John Doe: (standing less than 2 feet from Spiderman's mom) so, how's your boyfriend?
JewCess: Which of them?
John Doe: hahaha... our beloved Spiderman
JewCess: I have no idea.
John Doe: Oh my!!! You broke up?!?!?!?! (loud, very loud)
JewCess: Well, distance sucks.
John Doe: Yeah, distance does suck.
And I could write about 10 or more conversations like this in the last couple of days.
So yeah, distance sucks, my heart is broken and that is that. I wish I could just put up a poster in shull so people read this post and stop asking and stop sending emails of Spiderman as a baby, and stop talking about him as the wonderful rock star charisma guy he is. They should tell me he sucks. I love the idiot which makes me the main idiot and that is that. So there you go, confessions of a broken heart. Now that I shed my tears, it's off to fix my make-up and attempt to start dating again. Arghhhhh.
7/27/2006
All the world should hear!!!
Love in any language straight from the heart!!! Pulls us all together, never apart!!! once we learn to speak it, all the world will hear!!!
Do you know that song? I love it. And it popped in my head after I watched this video. There's no music, just a woman expressing her rights of freedom of speech, so, go ahead and click on the link.
Highlight of the video: "You can believe in stones, as long as you don't throw them at me."
LOVE IN ANY LANGUAGE... FLUENTLY SPOKEN HEEEERE!!!!
Do you know that song? I love it. And it popped in my head after I watched this video. There's no music, just a woman expressing her rights of freedom of speech, so, go ahead and click on the link.
Highlight of the video: "You can believe in stones, as long as you don't throw them at me."
LOVE IN ANY LANGUAGE... FLUENTLY SPOKEN HEEEERE!!!!
7/26/2006
And Av begins...
While studying in Shavuot, the Rabbi, who's a very very funny man, was asked why the shull wasn't full in Shavuot like it is on the so-called high holidays. How important is Shavuot? We received the Torah for crying out loud!!! What could be more important??? He answered, half joking and half true, well, Shavuot has a marketing problem.
Let's be realistic, nowadays a lot of our people are High Holiday Jews... you know who I'm talking about...the people who will never step foot in a synagogue but will surely be there on Yom Kippur... Those who work on Saturdays but will ask for days off from work on Rosh Hashannah... and to these people, holidays like Shavuot and fasts like Tisha B'Av have not been marketed properly. Both, I belileve are of the most important of holidays. Recieving Torah!!!! Mourning the Bait Hamikdash?!?!
I just find intriguing that a fast that is absolutely personal like Yom Kippur has become more important than the fasts of the 3 weeks, where we are fasting for others, for the world, for peace, for Moshiach!!! Is this an ego thing? Is it lack of education? Lack of marketing like the Rabbi said?
And I find myself in a debate... a serious debate. I work for a family business... with my uncle and cousins... you know how in orthodox homes your family expects you to be as orthodox as they are? G-d forbid you dress less modestly or do anything inappropriate... well, in Conservative homes, I have realized the opposite happens. On 17 Tammuz, I left the office 15 minutes earlier, as I was feeling tired... I wanted to go home and finish my fast in peace and quiet, and daven a bit... my uncle caught me in the middle of my escapade and though he wasn't rude, he did ask if I was crazy for fasting... and he said literally "Oh! (deep sigh)...our little rebbetzin." I thought it was cute, yet, I knew it was ununderstandable (is that a word?) for him... So here I am, knowing it will be business as usual on 9 Av and knowing they will mock me and think I'm just lazy for not wanting to come to work... Deep sigh.
Now, my next debate. I am a vegetarian. I don't eat desert during these days, but then again, unless it's Shabbat, I never eat desert, so that makes no big deal. Should I stop eating potatoes? I loooove potatoes...french fries, mashed potatoes, latkes, boiled potatoes, grilled potatoes, potato salad... love it! Maybe I should not eat potatoes...what else can I do to make this special? To make this important? To make this a bit of a sacrifice? Quit coffee??? Naaaaaaaah, that would be hazardous to my health... I don't know, opinions welcome here.
So here it is. We need to start a marketing campaign for non-famous holidays. I will start posting adds and articles before the counting of the next Omer, and will campaign on the importance of community fasting for the world... hope somebody is there with me.
We need peace. We need Moshiach. We need to stop eating potatoes.
Let's be realistic, nowadays a lot of our people are High Holiday Jews... you know who I'm talking about...the people who will never step foot in a synagogue but will surely be there on Yom Kippur... Those who work on Saturdays but will ask for days off from work on Rosh Hashannah... and to these people, holidays like Shavuot and fasts like Tisha B'Av have not been marketed properly. Both, I belileve are of the most important of holidays. Recieving Torah!!!! Mourning the Bait Hamikdash?!?!
I just find intriguing that a fast that is absolutely personal like Yom Kippur has become more important than the fasts of the 3 weeks, where we are fasting for others, for the world, for peace, for Moshiach!!! Is this an ego thing? Is it lack of education? Lack of marketing like the Rabbi said?
And I find myself in a debate... a serious debate. I work for a family business... with my uncle and cousins... you know how in orthodox homes your family expects you to be as orthodox as they are? G-d forbid you dress less modestly or do anything inappropriate... well, in Conservative homes, I have realized the opposite happens. On 17 Tammuz, I left the office 15 minutes earlier, as I was feeling tired... I wanted to go home and finish my fast in peace and quiet, and daven a bit... my uncle caught me in the middle of my escapade and though he wasn't rude, he did ask if I was crazy for fasting... and he said literally "Oh! (deep sigh)...our little rebbetzin." I thought it was cute, yet, I knew it was ununderstandable (is that a word?) for him... So here I am, knowing it will be business as usual on 9 Av and knowing they will mock me and think I'm just lazy for not wanting to come to work... Deep sigh.
Now, my next debate. I am a vegetarian. I don't eat desert during these days, but then again, unless it's Shabbat, I never eat desert, so that makes no big deal. Should I stop eating potatoes? I loooove potatoes...french fries, mashed potatoes, latkes, boiled potatoes, grilled potatoes, potato salad... love it! Maybe I should not eat potatoes...what else can I do to make this special? To make this important? To make this a bit of a sacrifice? Quit coffee??? Naaaaaaaah, that would be hazardous to my health... I don't know, opinions welcome here.
So here it is. We need to start a marketing campaign for non-famous holidays. I will start posting adds and articles before the counting of the next Omer, and will campaign on the importance of community fasting for the world... hope somebody is there with me.
We need peace. We need Moshiach. We need to stop eating potatoes.
7/24/2006
My heart is with Israel but my head is trying to move on... a bit at least
All of last week my head was in Israel... 24/7. Followed the news, debated online, read blogs, and in a nutshell just spent every minute thinking about Israel and what I could do. I was depressed and my energy levels were so low I even got sick. I joined an "Education for Peace" organization... and after that, tried to go back to my everyday activities... I figured, hey!people in our company have to eat too...
So near the weekend I decided to do the things I always do... shull activities, watch movies, read books, hang out with friends... So here's my movie and book report for this weekend:
Practical Kabbalah: A Guide to Jewish wisdom for Everyday Life by Rabbi Laibl Wolf This is a fantastic read!!! Sefirot for Dummies I would call it (not meaning to be disrespectful, but it's sooo practical, really) It is a day to day wording for an amazingly extraordinary topic. The book is full of wisdom and love. 100% recommended. It has a lot of meditations that I am now recording in order to use in my Torah Yoga practice.
Trembling Before G-d: This is a 2001 documentary which I only heard of now... we watched this movie at Shull last Thursday night and are preparing a debate on the topic. I found the documentary to be very intense and eye opening. I believe this debate is going to be very high-heat. I am of the belief that homosexuality cannot be undone... yet I have read about a lot of organizations who think differently. Well, I wish them luck. Being gay must be horribly hard, and I stand up for anybody who is in touch enough with themselves to know what they really feel. Anyhooooo.. more info will come after the debate, this could involve a 27 page post from my part.
Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Can I kiss Captain Sparrow? I want to kiss Captain Sparrow... is he jewish? Can I marry him??? He's a bit ego-maniac but oh (deep sigh) he's soooo cute!!!
So, there it is. The only things keeping my head from Israel... now back to reading the news/blogs and confirming that there is no Hezballah military equipment in civilian houses in Lebanon. (Last sentence written with a very sarcastic tone, pls just readthis to understand where I'm coming from)
Shalom Aleichem
So near the weekend I decided to do the things I always do... shull activities, watch movies, read books, hang out with friends... So here's my movie and book report for this weekend:
Practical Kabbalah: A Guide to Jewish wisdom for Everyday Life by Rabbi Laibl Wolf This is a fantastic read!!! Sefirot for Dummies I would call it (not meaning to be disrespectful, but it's sooo practical, really) It is a day to day wording for an amazingly extraordinary topic. The book is full of wisdom and love. 100% recommended. It has a lot of meditations that I am now recording in order to use in my Torah Yoga practice.
Trembling Before G-d: This is a 2001 documentary which I only heard of now... we watched this movie at Shull last Thursday night and are preparing a debate on the topic. I found the documentary to be very intense and eye opening. I believe this debate is going to be very high-heat. I am of the belief that homosexuality cannot be undone... yet I have read about a lot of organizations who think differently. Well, I wish them luck. Being gay must be horribly hard, and I stand up for anybody who is in touch enough with themselves to know what they really feel. Anyhooooo.. more info will come after the debate, this could involve a 27 page post from my part.
Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Can I kiss Captain Sparrow? I want to kiss Captain Sparrow... is he jewish? Can I marry him??? He's a bit ego-maniac but oh (deep sigh) he's soooo cute!!!
So, there it is. The only things keeping my head from Israel... now back to reading the news/blogs and confirming that there is no Hezballah military equipment in civilian houses in Lebanon. (Last sentence written with a very sarcastic tone, pls just readthis to understand where I'm coming from)
Shalom Aleichem
7/19/2006
Where are the parents?
Ok, so here's the deal. I want peace. We all need peace.
I am 100% pro Israel. I believe in this case Israel's moves, although sad, are a necessary evil.
And of course, I stick to my people. The world has harrassed us for years and years, and today, even though there's only 14 million of us, we stand straight and proud. The Holocaust didn't erradicate us and we will fight to see our children grow in a wonderful and peaceful Eretz Israel.
But something made me feel sick today... what on Earth are these girls doing? Yeah yeah yeah, "with love".. .come on people, let's stop the sarcasm. Where are these girls' parents? Are they behind them promoting this kind of Neandarthal behavior? Am I the only person disgusted by this image? The Arab world must be rejoicing to see we have morons on our side too and they have pictures to show for it. What a shame.
With power comes responsability (sorry for the very accurate, yet comic relif-like Spiderman reference)and us jews around the world have a big responsability. We have to set the example and not leave a doubt in anybody's mind of what our intentions are and what our values are. It is our responsability, today more than ever, to act kind, compassionate, thoughtfully and peacefully. May all our actions reflect our love for G-d and our love for Eretz Israel, as well as our love for all of G-d's creatures. It is our obligation from where I stand, and not our choice.
I am 100% pro Israel. I believe in this case Israel's moves, although sad, are a necessary evil.
And of course, I stick to my people. The world has harrassed us for years and years, and today, even though there's only 14 million of us, we stand straight and proud. The Holocaust didn't erradicate us and we will fight to see our children grow in a wonderful and peaceful Eretz Israel.
But something made me feel sick today... what on Earth are these girls doing? Yeah yeah yeah, "with love".. .come on people, let's stop the sarcasm. Where are these girls' parents? Are they behind them promoting this kind of Neandarthal behavior? Am I the only person disgusted by this image? The Arab world must be rejoicing to see we have morons on our side too and they have pictures to show for it. What a shame.
With power comes responsability (sorry for the very accurate, yet comic relif-like Spiderman reference)and us jews around the world have a big responsability. We have to set the example and not leave a doubt in anybody's mind of what our intentions are and what our values are. It is our responsability, today more than ever, to act kind, compassionate, thoughtfully and peacefully. May all our actions reflect our love for G-d and our love for Eretz Israel, as well as our love for all of G-d's creatures. It is our obligation from where I stand, and not our choice.
7/18/2006
Oreos
I just walked around the corner from my office in desperate need of Oreo's, not something I eat in my regular diet... while walking, I was looking around, thinking of Israel, of the world, of my relationship with G-d...
I am feeling down. The hormones, the fear and perhaps the impotence are lowering my energy levels to nothing. I couldn't get up today to go to martial arts.. it was too painful to leave my bed, and now I can't even begin to think of going to yoga... I want to jump into bed again.
I daven and think of Israel. I eat, and think of Israel. I work and multi-taskingly have a conversation with G-d on my point of view towards the situation and the why's and how's of what I think HIS plans are. Yes, I have done this out of impotence.
How can a conflict like this be solved? Can people change? Can ideologies change? Can this conflict be solved with mercy?
Islam fundamentalists have grown up in an environment completely opposite to mine. I grew up in a loving family. I was taught by my parents to choose life, be compassionate, be tolerant and create peace and harmony in my every act and thought.
Muslim Radicals rejoice on death. Children are taught to hate us more than what they love themselves, to hate us more than what they love their children.
Check this out.
These babies should be playing soccer, reading a book or preparing to be the next top-neurosurgeon in the yr 2020... not a martyr corpse nobody will remember for a cause that G-d most probably despises.
May G-d bless us, but most of all me HE bless them and their very lost souls.
I am feeling down. The hormones, the fear and perhaps the impotence are lowering my energy levels to nothing. I couldn't get up today to go to martial arts.. it was too painful to leave my bed, and now I can't even begin to think of going to yoga... I want to jump into bed again.
I daven and think of Israel. I eat, and think of Israel. I work and multi-taskingly have a conversation with G-d on my point of view towards the situation and the why's and how's of what I think HIS plans are. Yes, I have done this out of impotence.
How can a conflict like this be solved? Can people change? Can ideologies change? Can this conflict be solved with mercy?
Islam fundamentalists have grown up in an environment completely opposite to mine. I grew up in a loving family. I was taught by my parents to choose life, be compassionate, be tolerant and create peace and harmony in my every act and thought.
Muslim Radicals rejoice on death. Children are taught to hate us more than what they love themselves, to hate us more than what they love their children.
Check this out.
These babies should be playing soccer, reading a book or preparing to be the next top-neurosurgeon in the yr 2020... not a martyr corpse nobody will remember for a cause that G-d most probably despises.
May G-d bless us, but most of all me HE bless them and their very lost souls.
7/13/2006
Fasting can be wonderful, indeed
So we fast. Some of us because we are told to do so, some of us because we feel it's right... but almost everybody I know, who fasts, complains. Whiny people come to shull with a lemon in their hand to "avoid hunger"... and the complaining comes and goes and comes and goes... and I guess that's OK, complaining is part of the yiddische heritage.:o)
But through these complaints and suffering we forget the most important and wonderful things of these days of fasting. In Tammuz & Av, we mourn those who have fallen. We mourn for our Bait HaMikdash. We mourn the sadness and opression our people (and the people of the world) have lived. But we don't really fast for this tragic past. We don't fast in absolute sadness...we fast for a better future. We fast for the hope of a peaceful mankind. We fast for messianic times.
Ayurveda (traditional medicine used in India) recommends fasting as a way of healing the body. It's true that human beings need nurishment to live, but these moments of fasting cleanse our organism. It could be said that we live on the energy of our souls while we fast.
It's no wonder a bride and groom fast on their wedding day. The union of 2 souls is an act so glorious that these souls have more than enough energy without the need of food.
What we are doing today as a group and not as individuals is awesome. We are using our compasion, our souls' intrinsic energy, our flow of Hessed (urges to give and be compassionate) to make a better world. And what better day to do so than today, when Israel is at stake and the life of many is not as peaceful (Baruj Hashem)as my beloved ones' or mine?
Follow your inner energy, try not to complain and be greatful to be healthy enough to be able to fast. Your fasting is doing wonders for the Cosmic Energy of the universe. Remember that.
Wishing you a peaceful fast...
But through these complaints and suffering we forget the most important and wonderful things of these days of fasting. In Tammuz & Av, we mourn those who have fallen. We mourn for our Bait HaMikdash. We mourn the sadness and opression our people (and the people of the world) have lived. But we don't really fast for this tragic past. We don't fast in absolute sadness...we fast for a better future. We fast for the hope of a peaceful mankind. We fast for messianic times.
Ayurveda (traditional medicine used in India) recommends fasting as a way of healing the body. It's true that human beings need nurishment to live, but these moments of fasting cleanse our organism. It could be said that we live on the energy of our souls while we fast.
It's no wonder a bride and groom fast on their wedding day. The union of 2 souls is an act so glorious that these souls have more than enough energy without the need of food.
What we are doing today as a group and not as individuals is awesome. We are using our compasion, our souls' intrinsic energy, our flow of Hessed (urges to give and be compassionate) to make a better world. And what better day to do so than today, when Israel is at stake and the life of many is not as peaceful (Baruj Hashem)as my beloved ones' or mine?
Follow your inner energy, try not to complain and be greatful to be healthy enough to be able to fast. Your fasting is doing wonders for the Cosmic Energy of the universe. Remember that.
Wishing you a peaceful fast...
7/11/2006
Feel the love generation!!!
On a lighter note... I have been playing this song in repeat to lift my spirits and remember to have faith in humanity.
Love Generation... by Bob Sinclair
http://artists.letssingit.com/bob-sinclair-love-generation-rxpl1hw
From Jamaica to the world
It's just love, it's just love
Why must our children play in the streets
Broken hearts and faded dreams
Listen up to everyone that you meet
Don't you worry, it could be so sweet
Just look to the rainbow you will see,
The sun will shine till eternity
I've got so much love in my heart
No one can tear it apart
Be the love generation (x2)
Come on, come on, come on
Be the love generation (x2)
Don't worry about a thing, gonna be all right (x3)
Gonna be
Gonna, gonna, gonna
Gonna be alright
Don't worry about a thing, gonna be all right
Feel the love generation
Why most the children play in the street?
Broken arms can fade the dreams
Peace on earth to everyone that you meet
Don't you worry it could be so sweet
Just look at a rainbow, you will see
The summer shine till the eternity
I've got so much love in my arms
No one can tear it apart
Love Generation... by Bob Sinclair
http://artists.letssingit.com/bob-sinclair-love-generation-rxpl1hw
From Jamaica to the world
It's just love, it's just love
Why must our children play in the streets
Broken hearts and faded dreams
Listen up to everyone that you meet
Don't you worry, it could be so sweet
Just look to the rainbow you will see,
The sun will shine till eternity
I've got so much love in my heart
No one can tear it apart
Be the love generation (x2)
Come on, come on, come on
Be the love generation (x2)
Don't worry about a thing, gonna be all right (x3)
Gonna be
Gonna, gonna, gonna
Gonna be alright
Don't worry about a thing, gonna be all right
Feel the love generation
Why most the children play in the street?
Broken arms can fade the dreams
Peace on earth to everyone that you meet
Don't you worry it could be so sweet
Just look at a rainbow, you will see
The summer shine till the eternity
I've got so much love in my arms
No one can tear it apart
Humanity
There is a Hassidic saying that goes something like this:
The virtue of angels is that they cannot deteriorate; their flaw is that they cannot improve. Humanity's flaw is that we can deteriorate; but our virtue is that we can improve.
And so we need to do. We need improvement. We live in an era where we think we are illuminated and wise, just because we have amazing technology and communications... we have forgotten to be humans. We have forgotten we are just tools for G-d's creation and we have forgotten that I am a part of you and you are a part of me, and we are only atoms or cells or whatever you want to call them of a bigger organism, a bigger plan, a bigger goal.
But we keep killing each other... like cancer kills our bodies growing in an abnormal way. I cannot explain how tired I am of crying while reading/hearing news... blasts in Israel, blasts in India... these wonderful spiritual centers, covered in blood, in shame, in evil...
But the worst of all is the impotence. What can we do? I daven real real hard... I meditate, I help whomever I can and smile at every human being. I give love and comfort to others as much as I am capable of at this time... I do yoga and teach yoga, my way of promoting inner peace... yet, it's not enough, but I can hardly think of anything else or anywhere else to go...
If anybody at all is reading this blog, help me out here... daven real hard, learn, love, teach, and smile... and if you can let me know about it.
May HIS great name be blessed forever and ever.
The virtue of angels is that they cannot deteriorate; their flaw is that they cannot improve. Humanity's flaw is that we can deteriorate; but our virtue is that we can improve.
And so we need to do. We need improvement. We live in an era where we think we are illuminated and wise, just because we have amazing technology and communications... we have forgotten to be humans. We have forgotten we are just tools for G-d's creation and we have forgotten that I am a part of you and you are a part of me, and we are only atoms or cells or whatever you want to call them of a bigger organism, a bigger plan, a bigger goal.
But we keep killing each other... like cancer kills our bodies growing in an abnormal way. I cannot explain how tired I am of crying while reading/hearing news... blasts in Israel, blasts in India... these wonderful spiritual centers, covered in blood, in shame, in evil...
But the worst of all is the impotence. What can we do? I daven real real hard... I meditate, I help whomever I can and smile at every human being. I give love and comfort to others as much as I am capable of at this time... I do yoga and teach yoga, my way of promoting inner peace... yet, it's not enough, but I can hardly think of anything else or anywhere else to go...
If anybody at all is reading this blog, help me out here... daven real hard, learn, love, teach, and smile... and if you can let me know about it.
May HIS great name be blessed forever and ever.
6/22/2006
Mazal Tov!
I know I still owe the post on chakras/sefirot and another one about Sunday´s intervention, but I just crossed the Atlantic and am a tad bit tired. Will deliver soon.
On a super duper happy note... My step-sister is pregnant!!!! Yeai!!! Mazal Tov to her and her lovely husband!!! First grandkid in the family... going to drive everyone nuts. :o)
On a super duper happy note... My step-sister is pregnant!!!! Yeai!!! Mazal Tov to her and her lovely husband!!! First grandkid in the family... going to drive everyone nuts. :o)
6/19/2006
Surreal Monday Morning
This morning I woke up to the beautiful view of my bedroom window... the ocean... the ships... the clouds... the sky...my bedroom is one of the best places to feel connected to G-d. So this morning, like every other morning, I opened my eyes, looked out the window (I never close the curtains, I'd rather be awaken by sunlight in my face than missig that majestic view before I go to sleep or after I wake up)and I guess I hadn't woken up completely.. .there was a surreal look to my bedroom, the kind of surreal feeling the Torah describes every time someone meets an angel... and I said my Mode Ani with more feeling than ever before... truly thankful to have my soul back and truly thankful for the grandeour of the moment.
It was like the perfect ending to a surreal weekend. It was surreal in every way, everything that happened was bizarre....the good, the bad and the ugly.
Friday
My friend-whose-ex-husband-dumped-for-one-of-his-mistresses moved to the city last week, sick of living in her little town where every woman-friend she had had slept with her husband. She has 3 adorable little people and they are staying at my place because they still have no furniture in their new home.
The jewish school she wanted to send her kids to couldn't take in more kids, supposedly working ot its maximum capacity... I gave he-who-honestly-still-rocks-my-world a phone call and the kids got an appointment in the school and were tested as super smart and admitted. Yeai!!! Great start for the weekend.
Shabbos
Took my friend and her kids to shull. I loved having them around, specially for the final blessing, in which my shull has the tradition of holding hands with their family and I am always alone... They got to hang out with the kids they had met earlier in school and had a blast.
Then it was off to a very special dinner for me. He-who-still-rocks-my-world invited me over. Shabbos dinner with his family and friends. I know he doesn't want to be my boyfriend, but at least he wanted me over in the intimacy of his shabbat dinner.
When I came back home, my next door neighbor had his door open and friends of mine where there... having wine and desert, so I joined them and talked and laughed until 3 in the morning.
Saturday
So Shabbos was over and it was time to get pretty... oh-so-pretty!!! Went to a friend's wedding and did the mitzvah of dancing and laughing with the bride and groom. I also drank a couple of the best Cuban Mojitos!!! So there I was, in this gigantic wedding, with hundreds of people (It could've been around 1000 people) and on the happy note mingled and met new people. On the not so happy side, I wondered how people can spend the hundreds of thousands of dollars that this wedding must have cost in a one night event... how much is too much? Whatever happened to a nice Jupa on the beach with your closest friends and family? Closer to G-d and further from Vegas... really the bride and groom came into the party in a platform that elevated them, like any cheap Vegas show...
So, smile here, smile there and home... pretty late, again.
Sunday
Here comes the ugly. Alcoholism, love and an intervention. This deserves a complete post so I will write about it ASAP.
In the mean time... try to place yourselves in my window... blurry, majestic, and surreal... and let me get my things done cause I'm leaving the country in 2 days and have to leave everything in order...
It was like the perfect ending to a surreal weekend. It was surreal in every way, everything that happened was bizarre....the good, the bad and the ugly.
Friday
My friend-whose-ex-husband-dumped-for-one-of-his-mistresses moved to the city last week, sick of living in her little town where every woman-friend she had had slept with her husband. She has 3 adorable little people and they are staying at my place because they still have no furniture in their new home.
The jewish school she wanted to send her kids to couldn't take in more kids, supposedly working ot its maximum capacity... I gave he-who-honestly-still-rocks-my-world a phone call and the kids got an appointment in the school and were tested as super smart and admitted. Yeai!!! Great start for the weekend.
Shabbos
Took my friend and her kids to shull. I loved having them around, specially for the final blessing, in which my shull has the tradition of holding hands with their family and I am always alone... They got to hang out with the kids they had met earlier in school and had a blast.
Then it was off to a very special dinner for me. He-who-still-rocks-my-world invited me over. Shabbos dinner with his family and friends. I know he doesn't want to be my boyfriend, but at least he wanted me over in the intimacy of his shabbat dinner.
When I came back home, my next door neighbor had his door open and friends of mine where there... having wine and desert, so I joined them and talked and laughed until 3 in the morning.
Saturday
So Shabbos was over and it was time to get pretty... oh-so-pretty!!! Went to a friend's wedding and did the mitzvah of dancing and laughing with the bride and groom. I also drank a couple of the best Cuban Mojitos!!! So there I was, in this gigantic wedding, with hundreds of people (It could've been around 1000 people) and on the happy note mingled and met new people. On the not so happy side, I wondered how people can spend the hundreds of thousands of dollars that this wedding must have cost in a one night event... how much is too much? Whatever happened to a nice Jupa on the beach with your closest friends and family? Closer to G-d and further from Vegas... really the bride and groom came into the party in a platform that elevated them, like any cheap Vegas show...
So, smile here, smile there and home... pretty late, again.
Sunday
Here comes the ugly. Alcoholism, love and an intervention. This deserves a complete post so I will write about it ASAP.
In the mean time... try to place yourselves in my window... blurry, majestic, and surreal... and let me get my things done cause I'm leaving the country in 2 days and have to leave everything in order...
6/16/2006
Stories of soccer, kipot, rabbis and THE rebbetzin
So everybody is going wild with the World Cup. This morning Argentina kicked Servia & Montenegro's buttocks with a 6-0 and well, little Costa Rica's behind was kicked yesterday by Ecuador in a very sad 3-0 that pretty much sent them back home and left me debating who is my next favorite team. Still don't know.
He-who-till-Saturday-before-last-rocked-my-world has been wearing a woven kipa with the shape of half a soccer ball. Yes, he lead the service last Shabbat wearing it, and taught all his classes this week wearing it. The rabbi and him are always talking soccer and debating whether the cup will go to Argentina (rabbi's fave) or to Brazil (he-who-till-blah-blah's fave.) Soccer really brings the World together...and the rabbis...
I had a funny dream last night. In my dream RenReb called me on the phone. I love RenReb, and follow her blog every day, but realized last night that I'm, ejchemm, a little obsessed, don't you think? Dreaming about a fellow blogger???? That is pretty bizarre. Well, in my dream she called me on the phone and we talked for quite a while... I was giving her advice on life and she was giving me advice too. We were both sort of therapeutically venting out with each other. It was fun :o)
So, will check out the official website for the World Cup and decide which is my new favorite team. Why not the US? Because Americans don't play soccer. And they're doing as bad as Costa Rica. So... Cote D'Ivoire, perhaps? That's an underdog with potential :o)
Ok, back to my Torah Yoga, Chakra-Sefirot study and enough of soccer.
Shabbat Shalom!
He-who-till-Saturday-before-last-rocked-my-world has been wearing a woven kipa with the shape of half a soccer ball. Yes, he lead the service last Shabbat wearing it, and taught all his classes this week wearing it. The rabbi and him are always talking soccer and debating whether the cup will go to Argentina (rabbi's fave) or to Brazil (he-who-till-blah-blah's fave.) Soccer really brings the World together...and the rabbis...
I had a funny dream last night. In my dream RenReb called me on the phone. I love RenReb, and follow her blog every day, but realized last night that I'm, ejchemm, a little obsessed, don't you think? Dreaming about a fellow blogger???? That is pretty bizarre. Well, in my dream she called me on the phone and we talked for quite a while... I was giving her advice on life and she was giving me advice too. We were both sort of therapeutically venting out with each other. It was fun :o)
So, will check out the official website for the World Cup and decide which is my new favorite team. Why not the US? Because Americans don't play soccer. And they're doing as bad as Costa Rica. So... Cote D'Ivoire, perhaps? That's an underdog with potential :o)
Ok, back to my Torah Yoga, Chakra-Sefirot study and enough of soccer.
Shabbat Shalom!
6/15/2006
Where all my money goes
I just received a package... a lovely package... a package I have been waiting for!!! Amazon.com... all my money goes to Amazon.com, Zara and the libanese restaurant that has become like my Central Perk or Peach Pit or whatever reference to a popular TV show with an official hangout place you can think of.
So yeah, my Amazon package... there were 2 books for my mom (her birthday is coming very soon)... and a LOT of books for nerdy little me. :o) Forget martial arts class tonight... I AM READING.
I said before, I am working on a very interesting analysis between our Sefirot and Chakras...these books are going to help me out on my search too. I have for a while focused on combining the benefits that Yoga bring to my life with my judaism. It was amazing to know I was not alone. Torah Yoga was developed by Diane Bloomfield years ago, it searches for the same Mind-Body-Spirit union that I have long longed for... and yes, I now have a package full of books on the topic. Yeai!!!
I will let you know my findings eventually.
Shal-om
So yeah, my Amazon package... there were 2 books for my mom (her birthday is coming very soon)... and a LOT of books for nerdy little me. :o) Forget martial arts class tonight... I AM READING.
I said before, I am working on a very interesting analysis between our Sefirot and Chakras...these books are going to help me out on my search too. I have for a while focused on combining the benefits that Yoga bring to my life with my judaism. It was amazing to know I was not alone. Torah Yoga was developed by Diane Bloomfield years ago, it searches for the same Mind-Body-Spirit union that I have long longed for... and yes, I now have a package full of books on the topic. Yeai!!!
I will let you know my findings eventually.
Shal-om
6/11/2006
In awe
I wish I could have photographed it for you!!!! I have the image stuck in my head like one of the most wonderful things I have ever seen in my life. My jaw dropped open and I was compelled by the beauty of it all. Man meets nature... an absolut manifestation of G-d.
So, I will try to describe it for you... with all the limitations writing has...
Ocean view apartment, 19th floor. Tens of boats on the sea. Sun has been down for like an hour. All of a sudden fireworks right here on my window... I get up, move closer to the window and besides the fireworks... I see this huge yellow giant in the horizon, reflecting itself on the water. I can tell you, for a moment I knew not if I was looking at the moon or if I was looking at the sun setting... It was bizarre. And the fireworks kept going off, gorgeous, enormous.. right here on my window!!!!
How some people can still deny the existance of the Almighty, when magical moments like this arise, I cannot explain.
So, I will try to describe it for you... with all the limitations writing has...
Ocean view apartment, 19th floor. Tens of boats on the sea. Sun has been down for like an hour. All of a sudden fireworks right here on my window... I get up, move closer to the window and besides the fireworks... I see this huge yellow giant in the horizon, reflecting itself on the water. I can tell you, for a moment I knew not if I was looking at the moon or if I was looking at the sun setting... It was bizarre. And the fireworks kept going off, gorgeous, enormous.. right here on my window!!!!
How some people can still deny the existance of the Almighty, when magical moments like this arise, I cannot explain.
I dread Sundays
I really do.
When my roommates are around, Sundays turn into fun lazy days, where we laugh at each other for our lack of productivity, watch TV, go grocery shopping if we feel like the whole day has gone to waste, order takeout and the like. When you are single and living far away from your parents & siblings, your roomates become your family and the house is soooo empty when they´re gone.
And of course here I am, writing, cause they´re gone and I´m lonely and it´s not so easy to be alone when you have a broken heart (and I still do). Sigh.
I read the Egyptians had banned us from sighing when we were under their opression; these sighs were like a prayer to G-d. A cry for help...
Anyhoooooo. Yeah, Sunday. People sleep till late which I can´t do. And even if they wake up, they have families to spend the day with. I don´t. My family is close, but we have never gotten into the habit to spend time together on Sundays... my cousins are all married with children and do their own thing and my aunt & uncle have a life of their own too...
So I woke up and started studying the relationship between Kundalini Tantric Chakras and our Kabbalistic Sefirot. Quite interesting I must say. I will post my essay when it´s ready. Though don´t expect it too soon, still a lot to study.
So yeah. Alone. Bored. Lonely. Sad... and sighing...
When my roommates are around, Sundays turn into fun lazy days, where we laugh at each other for our lack of productivity, watch TV, go grocery shopping if we feel like the whole day has gone to waste, order takeout and the like. When you are single and living far away from your parents & siblings, your roomates become your family and the house is soooo empty when they´re gone.
And of course here I am, writing, cause they´re gone and I´m lonely and it´s not so easy to be alone when you have a broken heart (and I still do). Sigh.
I read the Egyptians had banned us from sighing when we were under their opression; these sighs were like a prayer to G-d. A cry for help...
Anyhoooooo. Yeah, Sunday. People sleep till late which I can´t do. And even if they wake up, they have families to spend the day with. I don´t. My family is close, but we have never gotten into the habit to spend time together on Sundays... my cousins are all married with children and do their own thing and my aunt & uncle have a life of their own too...
So I woke up and started studying the relationship between Kundalini Tantric Chakras and our Kabbalistic Sefirot. Quite interesting I must say. I will post my essay when it´s ready. Though don´t expect it too soon, still a lot to study.
So yeah. Alone. Bored. Lonely. Sad... and sighing...
6/09/2006
We don't look out for Shabbos
It is so true. We don't look out for Shabbos, Shabbos looks out for us. I just love Shabbos. Great food, wonderful conversation and the chance to have the 9 little nieces/nephews (some are not so little anymore) jumping around and having fun. I often wonder what my relationship with my father would've been like without Shabbos and the horrible thoughts make me jitter. B'H for Shabbos.
So on a different note: Costa Rica lost against Germany but, boy, did they play a great game!!!! I'm with you boys!!! I'm proud of you !!!! I'm wondering if it would be inappropriate to show up to shull tonight wearing my Costa Rican jersey... I'm not gonna be the rebbetzin anyway, so why would anyone care? (mind my sarcastic comment. I'm still hurt)
Anyway, back to he-who-till-Saturday-rocked-my-world, though this topic is getting old now, we went out last night with other friends and he had the droopy I-love-you so-much-eyes that confuse me badly. But yeah, not the rebbetzin, won't be rebbetzin. Focus.
Anybody out there know of a single, extraordinary, fun, Conservative rabbi or rabbi-to-be seaking for a Jewish-not-so-Princess?
So on a different note: Costa Rica lost against Germany but, boy, did they play a great game!!!! I'm with you boys!!! I'm proud of you !!!! I'm wondering if it would be inappropriate to show up to shull tonight wearing my Costa Rican jersey... I'm not gonna be the rebbetzin anyway, so why would anyone care? (mind my sarcastic comment. I'm still hurt)
Anyway, back to he-who-till-Saturday-rocked-my-world, though this topic is getting old now, we went out last night with other friends and he had the droopy I-love-you so-much-eyes that confuse me badly. But yeah, not the rebbetzin, won't be rebbetzin. Focus.
Anybody out there know of a single, extraordinary, fun, Conservative rabbi or rabbi-to-be seaking for a Jewish-not-so-Princess?
6/08/2006
Tomorrow will be a good day!!!
The sun is finally starting to shine, but the whole day has been dark and rainy and boring. I could totally go to bed now and wake up tomorrow, put on my Costa Rica soccer jersey and watch the inauguration game of the World Cup.
I'm an underdog kind of woman. I totally wish Costa Rica wins this match, and all matches, and the World Cup, why not? They deserve it more than Brazil or all those other giants who have all the money in the world and millions of players to scout from, don't you think?
Great news for tomorrow also... they are delivering my new package from Amazon.com with my latest book shopping spree :o)
It's not right to say I want today to be over, but G-d knows I mean it. My friends canceled dinner tonight, no yoga class today, no midrash class today... will drag myself after work to my martial arts class which I really don't want to go to since I'm sort of down and in need of more spiritual rituals...
So, yeah, Costa Rica, world champions!!!!! hurray!!!!
I'm an underdog kind of woman. I totally wish Costa Rica wins this match, and all matches, and the World Cup, why not? They deserve it more than Brazil or all those other giants who have all the money in the world and millions of players to scout from, don't you think?
Great news for tomorrow also... they are delivering my new package from Amazon.com with my latest book shopping spree :o)
It's not right to say I want today to be over, but G-d knows I mean it. My friends canceled dinner tonight, no yoga class today, no midrash class today... will drag myself after work to my martial arts class which I really don't want to go to since I'm sort of down and in need of more spiritual rituals...
So, yeah, Costa Rica, world champions!!!!! hurray!!!!
6/06/2006
Nichnas yayin yotzo sod
He-who-'till-Saturday-rocked-my-world: I don't want you to be the rebbetzin, ok?
Me: Ouch. (turns head, tears bundle up in corner of eyes)
He-who-'till-Saturday-rocked-my-world: blah blah blah blah.... (which translates to:)
He-who-no-longer-rocks-my-world has a lost screw in his head. He is in love. But he is in love with his classmate. Yes, with his classmate from rabbinical school. The woman-rabbi-to-be, the married-with-children-woman with whom he spends hours every day studying G-d's words... the woman who loves him back and fears G-d for it.
Scarey, huh?
I thought one of the commandments was "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife". I was also under the impression that a person who chooses to become a man of faith would have enough inner strength to find G-d before they would defy any of the commandments. Well, he's only human. Poor thing must be going through a very rough time.
Nichnas yayin yotzo sod...so, thanks to the wine I know the truth now. Baruch Hashem I'm out of this relationship... and yes, better now than later!
Me: Ouch. (turns head, tears bundle up in corner of eyes)
He-who-'till-Saturday-rocked-my-world: blah blah blah blah.... (which translates to:)
He-who-no-longer-rocks-my-world has a lost screw in his head. He is in love. But he is in love with his classmate. Yes, with his classmate from rabbinical school. The woman-rabbi-to-be, the married-with-children-woman with whom he spends hours every day studying G-d's words... the woman who loves him back and fears G-d for it.
Scarey, huh?
I thought one of the commandments was "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife". I was also under the impression that a person who chooses to become a man of faith would have enough inner strength to find G-d before they would defy any of the commandments. Well, he's only human. Poor thing must be going through a very rough time.
Nichnas yayin yotzo sod...so, thanks to the wine I know the truth now. Baruch Hashem I'm out of this relationship... and yes, better now than later!
6/01/2006
Faith & Reason
Quote of the day:
"Faith and reason need not be incompatible" - Rabbi Susan Grossman
Today is Erev Shavuot... a time to remember, study, learn, appreciate, and absorb the G-d sent gift of knowledge... of wisdom... of light.... of Torah. :o)
Hag Sameach to all, and may our study sessions/discussions with other fellow jews bring us closer and closer to peace, tonight and all nights.
Amen.
"Faith and reason need not be incompatible" - Rabbi Susan Grossman
Today is Erev Shavuot... a time to remember, study, learn, appreciate, and absorb the G-d sent gift of knowledge... of wisdom... of light.... of Torah. :o)
Hag Sameach to all, and may our study sessions/discussions with other fellow jews bring us closer and closer to peace, tonight and all nights.
Amen.
5/31/2006
On se console toujours...
Translation of title, sort of, kind of: One's sorrows are always soothed... (le Petite Prince chapter 26)
I am proud of myself and my healing process. I can't say I haven't cried. I can't say I haven't been in pain, and angry and devastaded... but it is in one's power to handle one's emotions and find peace and light. This is not the end, but the beginning of many things: a new step in our relationship, a new open door in my love life and another oportunity to know what to compare my Bashert against when G-d finally places him in my path.
I have decided to cleanse after all these negative emotions. I have decided to fast in order to cleanse and go on to a new stage.
I am filled with love, filled with peace and humbled at G-d's grace.
One more day to Shavuot!
Le Chaim!
I am proud of myself and my healing process. I can't say I haven't cried. I can't say I haven't been in pain, and angry and devastaded... but it is in one's power to handle one's emotions and find peace and light. This is not the end, but the beginning of many things: a new step in our relationship, a new open door in my love life and another oportunity to know what to compare my Bashert against when G-d finally places him in my path.
I have decided to cleanse after all these negative emotions. I have decided to fast in order to cleanse and go on to a new stage.
I am filled with love, filled with peace and humbled at G-d's grace.
One more day to Shavuot!
Le Chaim!
5/29/2006
What do you do?
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry???
I knew I wasn't crazy
Dating. Sigh.
So he-who-rocks-my-world now wants out. He's finally here, after all the waiting and now he wants out. I care about you a lot. You are adorable. You are so pretty. I want to still hang out with you, I hope you want to. But I am entering a new level in my rabbinical life and you don't fit in it (these weren't his exact words but close). So there it is. I am not good enough to be a Rabanit and I am too far away for him to even make a sacrifice. Too hard, too complicated. In a nutshell, there is no love. Caring, yes, but no love. It's done, finito. I'll have to start dating again.
I'm down. I'm sad. I'm angry.
But sometimes G-d's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
Sigh Sigh Sigh, teardrop teardrop.
So he-who-rocks-my-world now wants out. He's finally here, after all the waiting and now he wants out. I care about you a lot. You are adorable. You are so pretty. I want to still hang out with you, I hope you want to. But I am entering a new level in my rabbinical life and you don't fit in it (these weren't his exact words but close). So there it is. I am not good enough to be a Rabanit and I am too far away for him to even make a sacrifice. Too hard, too complicated. In a nutshell, there is no love. Caring, yes, but no love. It's done, finito. I'll have to start dating again.
I'm down. I'm sad. I'm angry.
But sometimes G-d's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
Sigh Sigh Sigh, teardrop teardrop.
5/26/2006
2 to go!!!
So, 2 more days to go and I'll see he-who-rocks-my-world. I really really wish this one works out. I'm at a stage where I am so skeptical about relationships... but I'm not loosing my faith.
Once I get over this period of waiting and mind-blankness because I can only think and internally debate about my love life, I will come back to write about more serious stuff. Right now I'm on cloud 9 and I wanna stay there a little while.
Shabbat Shalom!
Once I get over this period of waiting and mind-blankness because I can only think and internally debate about my love life, I will come back to write about more serious stuff. Right now I'm on cloud 9 and I wanna stay there a little while.
Shabbat Shalom!
5/16/2006
After the chill pill
So, after all the insecurities arose and I sounded like a lunatic, everything is back to normal. He´s there, as always... loving and trustworthy :o) and I´ve got my tail between my legs.
So, a new dilemma. Making my life worth while. Will write a post about this later on.
So, a new dilemma. Making my life worth while. Will write a post about this later on.
5/15/2006
Arrrrghhhhhhh!!!!
So, here´s the debate? Am I stupidly paranoid or too accurate at predictions??? How many relationships have I been in? Plenty. How many frogs have I dated? Waaaaay too many. He-who-rocks-my-world-and-is-coming-soon has not yet let me down ever. If he says he´ll call, he calls. He talks about the future to a certain level and has never ever made me doubt he´s interested. Never... until my head was stimulated with crap from an outer source. The week after we met he had a trip... work related. We had only known each other for a week, which means there was no sort of commitment at all, yet I was never expecting to see that picture on the organization´s website. THAT picture showed him with a cute little blonde... they looked cuddly, and flirtatious.
So, I stumble upon this picture and did not say anything. Why would I? There´s nothing to talk, this happened before we really got together. But, well, the way life spins, Friday afternoon I stumbled upon the pic. Then we had our typical shabbat shalom talk (and I never mentioned the pic nor the trip) and that was it. No news during the wkend and no news today. He appears online yet has said nothing. "why don´t you say hi first?" Most of you would say, instead of eating your head up and writing crap in this blog ... well, I need him to show me he cares. I´m a girly girl, a needy girl. True love doesn´t have to be pushed to talk.
Breathe in, breathe out... call a shrink cause you´re sounding like an imbalanced maniac. G-d is out there figuring this out and will bring me my bashert to my door whenever it is time.
So, I stumble upon this picture and did not say anything. Why would I? There´s nothing to talk, this happened before we really got together. But, well, the way life spins, Friday afternoon I stumbled upon the pic. Then we had our typical shabbat shalom talk (and I never mentioned the pic nor the trip) and that was it. No news during the wkend and no news today. He appears online yet has said nothing. "why don´t you say hi first?" Most of you would say, instead of eating your head up and writing crap in this blog ... well, I need him to show me he cares. I´m a girly girl, a needy girl. True love doesn´t have to be pushed to talk.
Breathe in, breathe out... call a shrink cause you´re sounding like an imbalanced maniac. G-d is out there figuring this out and will bring me my bashert to my door whenever it is time.
Dawn
As the weather changes, the sun is coming up earlier and I have the time to enjoy it on my drive to my Martial Arts class. The beauty of the world right before it wakes up fascinates me.
5/14/2006
After a fun drunken night
Last night I went out with my girl-friends, got a tad bit tipsy and came home and wrote this email to he-who-rocks-my-world:
after a fun drunken night i concluded:
1- I missed you at dinner
2- Fire burns your skin
3- My roommate looks very cute in polka dots
4- I have no idea if you like indian food
5- I love indian food, the spicier the better
6- I would love to have dinner with you in the new indian resturant
7- Jewish communites in (a country I will not mention in this blog for anonimity purposes)need a new leader to remind them what being jewish is all about
8- diet coke does wonders to un-drunk yourself (i think)
9-I miss you
10- I am a sucker for men of faith in superman shirts, and they are very scarce
11- Girls with fake boobs will shockingly go the extra mile to show them off (this story i´ll tell you later)
12- Computers are the 8th wonder of the world
13- I LOVE my bed
14- It´s time to go to bed
15- I love watching the ships from my window
16- I can´t spell and much less type when I´m drunk
after a fun drunken night i concluded:
1- I missed you at dinner
2- Fire burns your skin
3- My roommate looks very cute in polka dots
4- I have no idea if you like indian food
5- I love indian food, the spicier the better
6- I would love to have dinner with you in the new indian resturant
7- Jewish communites in (a country I will not mention in this blog for anonimity purposes)need a new leader to remind them what being jewish is all about
8- diet coke does wonders to un-drunk yourself (i think)
9-I miss you
10- I am a sucker for men of faith in superman shirts, and they are very scarce
11- Girls with fake boobs will shockingly go the extra mile to show them off (this story i´ll tell you later)
12- Computers are the 8th wonder of the world
13- I LOVE my bed
14- It´s time to go to bed
15- I love watching the ships from my window
16- I can´t spell and much less type when I´m drunk
5/12/2006
Last km of the marathon
You know that feeling when you're running a marathon, or a 10k or taking a strong spinning class or whatever it is that takes a lot of time and effort....well yes, that feeling when there are only 5 minutes or less to go and you get hyper-excited and sprint across the finish line?!!?!? Ok, well, I'm there, only this is a 3 and a half month marathon waiting for he-who-rocks-my-world to come visit. I'm sorry, but skype, msnger, email and the phone just don't cut it when you are trying to fall in love with somebody.
But yeai!!! Only some more days for him to arrive... but of course, now that the date is close I can't help but dramatize inside my head cause that's how fast he'll be gone again. What the heck am I doing???
I thought I was single because I was picky. Because Mr. Right was under hiding. But now I found the best of my 2 worlds. My 2 worlds??? Yep... the religious and law abiding world my dad created for us and the open-minded free loving world my mommy taught me to live.
Why do we (women) go soooo far ahead in relationships??? I guess it is healthy in a way, because if we don't see a future with the person we're dating, then we should not date them at all. But here I am. Waiting. An then what? A great month and then he's off to school again? Who can deal with that?
Exciting, yet so sad. Relationshipwise I always keep a mind open. I only need 1 person in the world to fall in love with and to find him I will have to scan some frogs, but I don't want more frogs. I don't want him to be a frog. I want my prince. A jewish prince for this Jewish-not-so-Princess. Sigh Sigh Sigh.
But yeai!!! Only some more days for him to arrive... but of course, now that the date is close I can't help but dramatize inside my head cause that's how fast he'll be gone again. What the heck am I doing???
I thought I was single because I was picky. Because Mr. Right was under hiding. But now I found the best of my 2 worlds. My 2 worlds??? Yep... the religious and law abiding world my dad created for us and the open-minded free loving world my mommy taught me to live.
Why do we (women) go soooo far ahead in relationships??? I guess it is healthy in a way, because if we don't see a future with the person we're dating, then we should not date them at all. But here I am. Waiting. An then what? A great month and then he's off to school again? Who can deal with that?
Exciting, yet so sad. Relationshipwise I always keep a mind open. I only need 1 person in the world to fall in love with and to find him I will have to scan some frogs, but I don't want more frogs. I don't want him to be a frog. I want my prince. A jewish prince for this Jewish-not-so-Princess. Sigh Sigh Sigh.
5/09/2006
This is what I'm sayin'!!!
Yes. I'm Jewish... but quite a bit far from the princess thing... maybe a little chai maintenance at times but to a not-qualified-for-JAP-labeling level.
I'm blogging because things intrigue me... people intrigue me...religion intrigues me...family values intrigue me... medicine intrigues me and I also think bloggin' is a fun way to fight boredom, which happens even if I have no time whatsoever for it waking up at 5am to train Martial Arts, running to get ready for work, going to work, heading to yoga, running errands whenever they can be run, keeping my house in order, attempting to keep a social life and trying to find my life accomplice ... I'll post one day about being a Single White Female (have you watched the movie? I had a SWF experience a couple of yrs ago.... freaky!!!), the next day we might talk about Sex & the City and the next we might be talking about cholesterol or accutane... or who knows? Reggeaton could be a subject to talk about... I want your feedback, people, and the more opinionated the more welcome your comments will be.
Now to the real blogging thing.
I woke up with a serious issue in my head: when did wanting to get married and form a family become a sign of weakness? I read somewhere that in Germany 50% of households are SINGLE households. Yes. 50% of Germany's population is living in the saddest of solitude. WHY???? Why would anybody do this? I personally believe every person should live alone for a while, but only for a while, in order to appreciate the marvel of having a family to share your life with.
I was having some wine with my girls last night... (these are my closest friends, the women who know almost all about me, whom I can trust with most of my darkest deepest thoughts and/or mischiefs) and there I was finding myself keeping my comments to myself, because what I really wanted to say was...enough is enough of being single!!! I WANT A HUSBAND TO SHARE HAPPINESS AND SADNESS. I WANT SOMEONE TO HUG AND PAMPER. I WANT TO MAKE LITTLE PEOPLE AND FILL THE WORLD AROUND ME WITH SMILES. But I couldn't say it. I could not come to tell them that's what I wanted because I KNOW my friends. They'd think I'm weak. They'd think I'm not happy with myself and need a man to base my happiness on.
Now, if I couldn't say it to my sidekicks, imagine on a date! I haven't said any of this to he-who-rocks-my-world. The taboo of wanting to form a family scares the heck out of any person with XY chromosomes. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach said something like this once: (totally paraphrasing cause I can't find his exact words at the time) A woman asked him why her boyfriend wouldn't marry her. She said they live together and they already have a daughter but he doesn't buy a ring or pop the question. The rabbi said, if you went to a bank to get a loan, and they would give you the money you want without you having to sign papers or leave any guarantee, would you be dumb enough to ask to sign full-of-commitment-documents that would bind you for life? Or would you just take the money and enjoy it while it lasts?
So there it is, people, I want to know if I am insane for believing in the institution of marriage. For wanting children yelling at my ear and cleaning their yucky noses on my shirt. For believing my being single and economically independant doesn't make me stronger than a happily married soccer mom. I wanna be a soccer mom. Or a rebbetzin. Or a soccer rebbetzin, but a mom nevertheless. A wife, a lover, a life accomplice. I WANT A LIFE FILLED WITH LOVE!!! This is what I'm sayin'!!!!
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